07/30/2020
From the war I waged against myself (red bikini), to the self love I found within myself (purple bikini), the story continues...
Perhaps you read it in my previous post, perhaps you didn't, but the red bikini stands for the self hatred that I felt and the physical transformation I got out of using that negative emotion to transform myself.
⭐ YES NEGATIVE EMOTIONS CAN BE HARNESSED TO CREAT CHANGE! Instead of letting yourself be consumed by them.
I went from 143lbs to 115lbs. Jumped on stage, placed second last in a lineup of 17 women and vowed to never ever do a bodybuilding show ever again.
Ha-HA! But there I am 3 years later in a purple bikini placing 4th at Nationals, 3 shows later and absolutely LOVING IT!
I hated my first competition, but while doing my hated 6am cardio one morning I noticed a glowy human. Yes she was literally GLOWING.
Her hair was golden and she had a smile like the SUN. I must confess I hated her for it the first time I saw her. How could she be so happy prepping for a show, I thought... that is impossible... but she was the real deal.
The presence of that person in my world planted a seed in me that made me wonder if that could possibly be me, IF I EVER COMPETED AGAIN...
.. and I did 10 more times!
Today it has been 8 months since my last competition and I feel as if though 5 years have passed because of how fast the world is changing.
Somedays I ask myself if I still want to be this person, if I still have it in me to be this person, and I don't mean a bodybuilding competitor, but A PERSON WHO IS PASSIONATE ABOUT SOMETHING! A person who wholeheartedly believes that achieving anything is possible, a person with a spark capable of transforming myself and the world...
Perhaps I will be tested yet again in some other way or form... but in the meantime I wonder...
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⭐ Warrior Camp is a free 2 week adventure for men and women seeking to reconnect with their warrior heart. Click the link in my BIO to find is if this is the spark you are looking for or visit to: artofmovingstrong.com