05/08/2025
Do you know someone who has difficulty with losing? Children often struggle with this however many adults struggle with losing as well. This post comes on the heels of our local senior men’s hockey team being voted out of their league and is a good segway from last week’s post on praise vs. encouragement. The confirmed reason for this decision has not been reported however the speculation is that the team had performed too well in the league. Teams with more power and lower league standings were the ones to vote them out suggesting that there may be some merit to this speculation.
I think we can all agree that winning feels good! However, when our value and self-worth is dependent on outcome (winning), losing becomes a big problem. The effort we put in holds little to no value to us. Instead of focusing on trying again, practicing more, working hard, we can give up, cast blame on others and/or react with intense emotions. Focusing on effort doesn't prevent disappointment from losing but it helps us to channel that disappointment into motivation. The goal is that we can weather the wins with humility and the losses with courage and determination. We promote this by using encouragement and choosing to focus on effort.
I feel very sad for the hard-working players of this men’s hockey team and I am also concerned about the message it sends to our young players. It sends the message that winning is the only goal and if you can’t win on the ice, use your power off the ice to better your odds.
DISCLAIMER** THIS ACCOUNT AND ITS CONTENTS ARE NOT A SUBSTITUTION FOR MENTAL HEALTH ASSESSMENT OR TREATMENT. THIS ACCOUNT DOES NOT AND CANNOT PROVIDE CRISIS SUPPORT.
