01/01/2017
I desired to pursue a Masters in Life, The Soul, the Universe, and my Guide showed up.
I got the career, bought the condo and car, remembered I am Queen, and desired a partner. He showed up.. In the least expected way.
I desired to learn more, to share the miracles of what life truly is and can be. I followed my heart, asked what was next, and I fell to my knees in awe and pachad, bawling my eyes out.
So I pursued. With determination, fear and confusion. And with it, I bred arrogance and repeated old habits and patterns. I tell my therapist what happened and caused me to be here, then he asks:
"Where did you learn it was ok to put yourself aside?"
Well, f**k.
In the pursuit of me spiritually, I ignored myself physically. And my beautiful temple of a body, my clever mind, began working against me, resulting in questioning me and my path. For how could something that felt so liberating feel like this again??
First, it was bright and shiny because I was liberated from the chains that held me back, kept me down, pushed me aside. And now that I am here, finally, finally here... producing, creating, relating, and leading with the same patterns of behaviour that got me here.
So it's time to heal, to reprogram at a very tangible level, patterns and practices, that do not serve me. Deconstructing, redeveloping. Remembering and honouring what feels good. Cleaning up the container, the temple that houses the essence of me.
Happy New Year!