04/25/2025
After a friend sent me a video about rubbing your feet together at bed time (called cricketing) being a trauma response to narcissistic abuse, it got me thinking.
Preface to say : this DOES NOT discount or belittle any trauma anyone has endured in any relationship.
And if the narcissistic abuse happened from one or both parents or caregivers during childhood, it would be a bit different.
But first, we have to talk about the overuse of labeling people narcissists.
Coming from someone (me) who dated someone that many others labeled this (a narcissist) as well.
People have narcissistic traits.
Some more so then others.
But, only 1% of the world population is diagnosed as narcissist. (Yes, yes, I know, how many are not diagnosed and running around.....but even if that's the case, hear me out)
Many of us end up in traumatic relationships, with significant others, due to trauma that came prior to them.
For many, it is childhood trauma.
For others it may have happened in our teen years, and others in early adulthood.
All of those were before our brains were fully matured and developed.
We end up in these relationship from that trauma that we experienced in our younger years, that was never resolved, let alone even looked at.
Maybe it's self worth. Maybe it's a savoir loop. For many it's an empath loop (which goes hand in hand with the "narcissist"). Maybe we learned it though observation. From word that were, or were not, said to us. It can be so many things.
I really feel knowledge is power. And the internet and social media has expanded how quickly we can access information. It has also expanded so much false information. It can empower us, OR, it can actually keep us stuck in DISEMPOWERMENT GRIDS.
Are we discerning the information we are receiving?
Or are we plugging into something that actually helps keep us stuck in the victim energy, almost as a trauma bond or validation story, confirmation bias 🤔
I am not saying people have not suffered traumatic experiences in relationships.
I have, I know.
What I am saying is, be careful what information you are plugging into, what labels you are using and getting stuck on, and what stories you are running.
Look at what is running in yourself that allowed you to be in that situation in the first place.
None of this says it was OK. None of this says to forget about it, or pretend it didn't happen.
It does not discount anyone's experiences.
These labels and grids are in place for a reason.
To keep us disempowered.
Unplug.
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