08/24/2016
Bear with me for a moment. You know when you’re driving to an unfamiliar place, blasting the radio while simultaneously watching your GPS spit out directions? Then you suddenly get to that one part of the route that’s ridiculously confusing, so you lower the volume even though it really has no direct impact on the way you read the directions?
That is your life. That radio noise you need to cut out to concentrate? That’s the needless, energy-sucking noise in your head.
Turning down the radio in the car re-energizes your mind and offers you clarity when you need it most. You don’t really think about how or why this makes such a huge difference, you just know that it does.
Now it’s time to apply this same principle to all that other noise in your life, starting with the noise in your head.
But how?
The first step is to eliminate toxic, energy-sucking habits that support this noise. Here are six such habits to eliminate:
1. Pretending like everything is OK when it isn’t. – Do you feel overwhelmed? Do you feel like giving up? There’s honestly no shame in it. You are not a robot; and even if you were, you’d still need to stop for maintenance sometimes. There’s no shame in admitting to yourself that you feel exhausted, doubtful, and low. This is a natural part of being human. The simple fact that you are aware of this means you are able to turn things around. It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there’s no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
2. Letting pain from the past devastate the present. – I am stronger because of the hard times, wiser because of my mistakes, and happier because I have known sadness. The same is true for you. Every difficult conversation you have includes someone who is teaching you something about yourself. Every trying situation contains an opportunity for deeper self-reflection and learning. Every irritant, heartbreak, frustration, disappointment, fearful moment and sadness is a teacher. Remember, nothing is as bad as it seems. Nothing. There's a benefit and a blessing hidden in the folds of every experience and every outcome. So don't you dare give up on today because of the way things looked yesterday. Don't even think about it. Every day is a new day to try again.
3. Resisting change and growth. – You must consistently check with yourself and ask: “Am I committed to feeling good, or am I committed to growing?” Because growth does not always feel good, and feeling good does not always provide growth. Neither is wrong, as long as there is balance. The important thing is to remember that being uncomfortable is important too, and this discomfort often arrives right on time. Don’t avoid it – embrace it. Channel your energy into progress. All growth begins at the end of your comfort zone. When you’re feeling uncomfortable, know that the change taking place in your life is a beginning, not an ending.
4. Worrying and worrying and worrying and never taking action. – Worry is the biggest enemy of the present moment. It does nothing but steal your joy and keep you very busy doing absolutely nothing at all. It's like using your imagination to create things you don’t want. Break this negative habit! It is far better to be exhausted from effort than to be tired of doing nothing but worrying. Don't waste your effort avoiding effort. Go ahead and get it done. Today, ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your day around your answer.
5. Sacrificing all of your Self for everyone else. – Don’t sacrifice yourself too much, because if you do, there will be very little left that you can give to anyone, even those you love dearly. Whenever you feel trapped and it’s difficult to breathe, let me remind you – don’t forget to secure your own oxygen mask first. Taking care of yourself does not make you selfish; it makes you selfless. In fact, it’s the truest form of selflessness one can experience. Only through attentive self-care can you care for others. In order to truly have a loving, supportive relationship with someone else, you need to learn how to be your own best friend first. It’s all about falling in love with yourself first and sharing that love with others who appreciate you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self-love deficit.
6. Taking everything personally. – There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. And rarely do people do things because of you anyway. They do things because of them. So even when it seems personal, it probably isn’t. Remember this. And when you find yourself feeling angry, heartbroken, or victimized by the actions of another, see if you can you find within you any seed of softness, some place deep within that understands how much pain that person must be in, how burdened their soul must be, how devastatingly hardened they must be in their heart in order to behave in a way that is surely out of alignment with their own integrity.
