07/10/2026
Some children become incredibly skilled at looking as though they are coping.
They follow the rules, watch their peers, rehearse what to say, suppress their discomfort and work incredibly hard to get through the school day.
Then they come home — and everything spills out.
For children who mask, particularly many autistic girls, what families see at home can look completely different from what school sees. That does not mean one environment has the “real” child and the other does not.
Sometimes the difference itself is important information.
Looking fine is not always the same as being fine.
Understanding the masking effect helps us look beyond what a child shows us and consider how much effort it may be taking to hold everything together.
Save this post for anyone supporting a child who seems to cope all day and falls apart once they are home.
