Perinatal Coach & Counselor - Tania Fragoso

11/06/2026

10/06/2026

Two things, true at the same time. For a long time it can feel as though holding one means betraying the other. Naming what was taken from you, while loving the person it gave you. Both belong. Both can sit in the same room.

This is one of the truths the women who have moved through birth trauma describe most often. The capacity to hold complexity without being destroyed by it.

From the new piece on birth trauma recovery, now on the website.

03/06/2026

A birthday approaches. A smell, a corridor, a friend announcing a pregnancy. And you are back inside it, the pain as sharp as if no years had passed at all.
This is not a sign you have failed at recovering. Trauma is held at a nervous system level, in responses that fire before the conscious mind has caught up. Implicit memory does not soften with time. It softens with the right kind of contact.
I think about the woman bracing for that date. She has lived years in the shadow of one experience, wondering whether this is simply what her life is now. She has been told, that time heals. Nobody told her that time, on its own, was never going to reach this.
If your birth was five years ago, or ten, or more, you are not too late. The work has no window. It has the right conditions, and those can be made at any point.

20/05/2026

What happens to the woman who is still holding her breath?

The one who learned early that asking for help might end in being dismissed.
The one running so depleted that her last reserves are kept only to keep going, to hold her children steady.
The one who has tried. More than one therapist. More than one counsellor. And left every room feeling like she didn't fit.

I think about her often.
Because it isn't that women don't need support. It's that when you are running that empty, reaching out feels like one more thing you do not have the capacity for.

So if today you are still holding your breath, this is me, quietly noticing. 🌿

13/05/2026

Going back to your birth can bring clarity, relief, grief, anger, or more questions.
Sometimes all of them.

What it offers is a space to finally understand what happened, with someone who can hold it alongside you.

Who you do that with matters.
Link in bio.

12/05/2026

There is a gap between the birth you pictured and the one you had. Most women carry it for years without a name for it.

It is grief. And it deserves more than being told to focus on the healthy baby.

A birth debrief is a space to go back, with someone who can hold the whole picture, recognise what your nervous system is carrying, and help it finally make sense.

Link in bio. 🌿

07/05/2026

Three separate bodies of research. One nervous system event.
If you've spent years struggling to name what happens in those moments, this might be part of why. The language available to you never quite fit what was actually happening in your body.

Motherhood can intensify these experiences, and it does not mean that you are failing at it; it just means your nervous system is at capacity. You deserve support that understands all the layers of you.

New blog on mum rage and the neurodivergent mother, link in bio.

06/05/2026

Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day.

A lot gets said about the loneliness. The anxiety. The pressure of getting it right. Less gets said about the rage.

The moment something came out of you that you didn't recognise. And the shame that followed, the kind that doesn't lift cleanly, that follows you into the next room and sits there.

For neurodivergent mothers, that shame carries something extra. Because it didn't feel like a bad day. It felt like evidence of something.

What is often not seen is what has been building up in the background, for hours, sometimes days.

The sensory overload, executive depletion, small irritations building without a name. In a body that had no other way to tell you it was coming.

The evidence was not pointing at you being a bad mother. It was showing you that you are under-supported, and often unseen and with needs that are unmet.

I wrote about it over at my blog, you can find the link on my bio