Silke van Loenen - Ave Munde Therapy

16/06/2026

I recently ran a questionnaire with how they’re really doing with the emotional load of client cases - and I can’t share what anyone said. But every single response confirmed exactly what I hear in my sessions:

→ Sleepless or broken nights, because a client’s story keeps replaying in your head.
→ Snapping at the people you love most, because the stress has nowhere else to go.
→ Numbing: scrolling, overworking, overeating, a glass of wine that becomes two, then three. Whatever helps you switch off, even for an hour.
→ Pulling away from friends and communities, either because you’re too drained to show up, or because the people around you have no idea what “real” struggling looks.
→ The body keeping score too: migraines, high blood pressure, a constant tension in your body.
→ The guilt of being able to switch off – a comfortable home, close the laptop, go on holiday - while your client can’t escape their situation, not even for a moment.

If any of this sounds familiar: you are not weak, and you are not alone. You are a human being absorbing other people’s trauma, day after day.

If you recognised yourself in any of the above, send me a message. This is exactly what I help with. You don’t have to carry this alone.
 
P.S. And the information from the questionnaire... it helps me shape a group program for lawyers who want support alongside others who truly get it. More on that soon.

Immigration Law │ Lawyer Wellbeing │ Vicarious Trauma │ Mental Health At Work │ Therapeutic Coaching

12/06/2026

👩‍🎓 I never wanted to go to school and now I can’t stop learning!

When I was young I didn’t enjoy it, found it difficult to focus or retain info, even though I had the brains for it. I tried, I failed, I got kicked out...

I was well aware a diploma would be useful, so got a secretary diploma and started working when I was 20 years old.

Only in my early 30s - when I hit a career block - I went to university to get a degree. Much to my surprise I enjoyed it a lot! After graduation friends were 😄 joking: “Is this your first school diploma, Silke?”
Err... it was my third (high school, secretary and then the bachelor of Business Administration). 😇

Since then my motto has been ‘never stop learning’. Who knew that I would find joy in studying. That joy also led to a new career!

Last April I finished this Masters of Life Coaching course. Did a few short courses in Meditation, Human Design, Astrology and Bio Hacking in May.

And now, no more courses (until I find something interesting... 🤣 )

My brain is full, I feel fulfilled.

09/06/2026

“I drank to drown my sorrows, but the damned things learned how to swim.”
 – Frida Kahlo
 
She wasn’t talking about immigration lawyers. But she could have been.
 
Numbing works. For a while.
A drink at the end of a long day. Food that fills something that isn’t hunger. Losing yourself in a book, endless scrolling, anything – to switch off after hours of carrying other people’s heartbreaking situations.
 
Nobody judges you for it. You’re dealing with asylum cases, deportations, people whose entire lives hang on your work. Of course you need to escape.
 
Until escaping stops working. And you need more of it. And the sorrows don’t drown – they just get better at swimming.
 
Here’s what I’ve learned, both personally, professionally and working with immigration lawyers:
Numbing doesn’t process the weight. It just postpones it. And hits harder when it bounces back.
 
You know all too well that the stories don’t disappear when you close your laptop. They follow you to dinner, to bed, to 3am when you’re lying awake replaying a case you can’t stop thinking about.
 
What actually helps is learning to process what you’re carrying, so it moves through you instead of staying inside of you. It is called naming and taming: verbalising emotions to control your feelings and impulses.
 
Not quickly – there is no quick fix. Not perfectly – like exercising, you need to train this muscle. But enough to make life lighter.
 
The stress of your job will never fully disappear.
But it doesn’t have to take over your whole life either.

Immigration Law │ Immigration Lawyer │ Mental Health At Work │ Burnout Prevention │ Practical Tools

03/06/2026

20 years ago, I was absolutely burnt out because I thought it was my role to carry the emotional weight of others and I felt so guilty if I chose ‘me’ first.

The thing that changed everything wasn’t just cutting the cord, selling my place, traveling around the world, switching careers and therapy. It was giving myself permission to be happy and realising I was still a good person, compassionate and caring.

I’m now working on something to help Immigration Lawyers make that same shift – because I know how much easier life would have been with the right guide.

More on that soon.

For now – if you’re in that place right now, know that it’s not about just setting boundaries and managing stress. It’s about understanding that you’re still compassionate and committed when you choose your wellbeing first.

Something about filling your own cup first…

26/05/2026

Something I’ve noticed after reading the responses from Immigration Lawyers on my questionnaire for Immigration Lawyers:

They’re not struggling because they didn’t have therapy to manage the emotional weight of client cases.

They’re struggling because despite having had therapy stress of client cases still affects their lives. To name a few:
· insomnia/nightmares
· disconnecting from friends or communities
· less patience with and empathy for kids and partners
· guilt for taking time off to recharge
· lack of focus and productivity at work

And the advice they keep getting – go to therapy and set boundaries – is actually making it harder.

If this hits different, I’d love to hear your experience.

What’s been the hardest part for you?
 
Leave a comment below, send me a DM or share your thoughts in the questionnaire (see 🔗 in bio).

19/05/2026

If you are an Immigration Lawyer, who loves their work but feels overwhelmed and close to breaking point, I'd love to know your insights and experiences how you process the emotional weight of client cases.

I'm putting together something specifically for immigration lawyers around managing the emotional load of their work. But before I build it, I want to make sure it's shaped around what you actually need – not what I assume you need.

You'd help me enormously if you could fill in this questionnaire.
Many thanks!

https://forms.gle/CpvN4AEWXGnfcH9e6

Hey there, Thank you for your time. I hope you're doing well. My name is Silke van Loenen. I'm putting together something specifically for immigration lawyers around managing the emotional load of their work. Would love to pick your brain – no selling, just want your perspective. Your insights and...

09/05/2026

12 self care tips to prevent burnout

02/05/2026

How many symptoms did you experience this week?

Burnout | Mental Health | Burnout Bingo

23/01/2026

Why Resilience Isn’t Optional for Legal Professionals
 
🥴 Chronic stress can lead to fatigue, brain fog, short tempers, physical issues and burnout. It can show up as more sick days, less patience with loved ones, and that constant feeling of being “on edge”.
 
Stress itself isn’t the enemy. In fact, a certain level of pressure can sharpen focus and performance.
 
⚖️ The problem starts when the balance is off. When the demands of work outweigh the abilities we have to recover, reset, and protect our wellbeing, stress doesn’t stay in the office.
🏠 It comes home with you, sits at the dinner table, disrupts relationships and even steals your sleep.
 
🤝 As a coach - who got burnt out in a previous career and needed a long time to recover - my mission nowadays is to help avoid burnout and its far-reaching consequences. I focus on building resilience.

I truly believe you can perform at a high level and live a life that feels connected, healthy, and rewarding.
 
This is where resilience becomes essential.
It’s not a “nice to have,” it’s a must have.
Develop the mental, emotional, and practical tools to meet challenges without sacrificing your health, values, or personal life.
 
🌱 A resilient mind allows you to:

* Respond rather than react under pressure
* Maintain healthier relationships at home and at work
* Recover faster from setbacks and demanding periods
* Reduce illness, exhaustion, and emotional overload
* Build a sustainable career with long-term fulfilment
 
The legal profession is not for the faint-hearted. Long hours, high stakes, demanding clients, and deadlines. All while being expected to stay calm, sharp, and impeccably professional. (No pressure there…)
 
❓ How would your relationships, health, and career benefit if you had better tools to handle pressure?
 
lawyer | solicitor | attorney | paralegal | judge | secretary | legal assistant | legal professionals | mental health | resilience | burnout prevention | well being

16/01/2026

Why Slowing Down Can Be the Best Way to Speed Up

In a world that constantly pushes us to go faster, do more, and never rest, it can be hard to believe that slowing down might actually be the key to achieving more.

Sometimes, the best way to speed up is by taking a step back.

When we’re overwhelmed, running on empty, and trying to juggle a million things at once, we end up losing focus, making more mistakes, and feeling burned out. Our productivity, creativity, and energy all suffer in the long run.

Taking a moment to pause, breathe, and recharge allows you to regain clarity, reduce stress, and make decisions with intention and purpose. It helps you avoid a burnout and create the mental space you need to move forward with renewed energy.

This doesn’t mean you’re weak or uncommitted. Quite the opposite: it means you’re wise enough to know that in order to thrive in the long run, you need to care for yourself first.

So, if you’re feeling the pressure, remember: Taking time to slow down might be exactly what you need to speed up.

🌱 Take care of yourself. Recharge. You’ll come back stronger, clearer, and ready to tackle whatever’s ahead.