Fat Fives Football

12/09/2026

🎬 LIAM TRIED EVERYTHING AND BARRY M SAID ABSOLUTELY NOT 😭🧤🔥
📝 Header? Saved. Follow up? Saved. Liam doing his absolute best and Barry M shutting down every single attempt 😂 Player of the season living up to the billing and Liam is absolutely distraught 😤 What a goalkeeper 👇
🎥 Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

10/09/2026

🎬 NOT EVEN THE OPPOSITION EXPECTED THAT 😭😂🔥
📝 Chopper in goals, looking comfortable and then gravity had other ideas 🤣 The deflection off Chopper is so unexpected even the attackers stopped celebrating for a second 😂 One of the great Fat Fives moments right here 😤👇
🎥 Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

08/09/2026

🎬 EVERY TOUCH COUNTED AND CHUCKIE FINISHED IT OFF 😮‍💨🔥
📝 Bayern Bru with a move that had everything 🫡 Slick passing, clever movement and Chuckie with the composure to place it perfectly into the back of the net ⚽🔥 That is how you score a team goal 👇
🎥 Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

06/09/2026

⚽🎉 SEASON 12 IS UNDERWAY: A FRESH START FOR EVERYONE! 🎉⚽

IT'S BACK! Season 12 has officially kicked off and what a way to start! 🚀 The break's over, the boots are back on, the scales are firing, and everyone's opening a fresh account for the new campaign. New signings, renewed rivalries, comeback stories, and a whole new season of drama stretched out in front of us. Massive well done to every single player for showing up and giving it absolutely everything from match one!

⭐🌟 TEAM OF THE WEEK! 🌟⭐
A HUGE opening TOTW to kick off Season 12! Martin G takes the captain's armband with an INCREDIBLE 17.7kg loss — reflecting his weight change since his last weigh-in at the end of Season 10 after a lengthy spell away from the league. What a way to mark your return, big man! 💪 The rest of the XI's numbers are the difference from their final Season 11 weigh-ins — Andy (3.3kg), Greg A (3.0kg), Josh C (2.2kg), Chopper (2.2kg), Liam Cairns (1.9kg), Ash (1.4kg), Gregor M (1.3kg), Neil (1.2kg), Jacko (1.1kg) and Doug (1.0kg). Eleven brilliant performances to kick off Season 12 — take a bow, lads! 👏

⚖️📉 TOP WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE 📉⚖️
Ten players open their Season 12 accounts with a point each — Martin G, Greg A, Andy, Liam Cairns, Josh C, Chopper, Ash, Neil, Gregor M and Jacko all off the mark! With everyone level on points, the order is decided on percentage of weight lost, and it's Martin G who takes top spot early thanks to that huge % drop. And who's right behind him? None other than Season 11 Top Weight Loss League winner Greg A — the man is showing no signs of slowing down! Brilliant opening week from the front-runners.

🏃‍♂️💪 TEAM WEIGHT LOSS LEAGUE 💪🏃‍♂️
Flaberdeen come flying out the blocks in Season 12, leading the way early with 7 points! Fatburn Rovers on 5, Ivory Toast on 4, Rapid Viennetta on 3, Bayern Bru, OB City and Scrandinavia all level on 2, and Parmesan Belgrade on 1. A fresh table, everyone back to zero, plenty of season to come — keep pushing together!

🥇🏅 POTS (PLAYER OF THE SEASON) 🏅🥇
An early four-way tie at the top on 8 points — James W, Wayne, Liam S and Josh C all off to flying starts with a MOTM performance in their opening appearance! A six-way tie on 5 points sits just behind: Taylor, J. Campbell, Paul Stewart, Liam Cairns, Neil and Ethan Park all making their early marks. This one is WIDE open from the start!

🍫👟 GOLDEN CHOCOLATE BOOT (MVP) 👟🍫
Defending Season 11 Golden Chocolate Boot winner Stevie G shares the early Season 12 lead with Lewis Fer — both on 4 goals from their opening week! J. Campbell, Gareth, John R, Liam Cairns and Ross H all on 3, with Doug, Martin G and Chris rounding out the top 10 on 2 each. Fresh season, fresh boot race, all to play for!

👑🏆 EARLY SHOCKS AT THE TOP! 🏆👑
The Season 12 table is already throwing up surprises! Bayern Bru top the standings with 7 points, level with Parmesan Belgrade — both starting on brilliant 2W 1D runs. Defending champions Fatburn Rovers have stumbled to 6th on just 3 points after opening-week losses to Bayern Bru (5-3) and Parmesan Belgrade (5-2). Season 11 runners-up Scrandinavia sit ROCK BOTTOM on 1 point after a rough opener — how the tables have turned! A totally different look to how Season 11 finished — everyone is out to lay down a marker early.

📊⚽ MATCH RESULTS & STANDINGS ⚽📊
What an opening week of Season 12! Bayern Bru's brilliant week saw them beat Fatburn Rovers 5-3, edge O.B City 3-0 and draw 2-2 with Scrandinavia. Parmesan Belgrade matched them stride for stride with 4-2 over Scrandinavia and 5-2 over Fatburn Rovers plus a 1-1 draw with Rapid Viennetta. Ivory Toast's 5-0 win over Flaberdeen was another headline result — with Flaberdeen bouncing back to edge Scrandinavia 4-3 in a thriller. Fatburn Rovers did open with a 5-1 win over Flaberdeen, and O.B City hit Rapid Viennetta 4-0. The league is properly WIDE open early!

The Early Top 3 Standings:
Bayern Bru top on 7 points (+5 GD), Parmesan Belgrade 2nd on 7 points (+5 GD), Ivory Toast 3rd on 4 points (+4 GD).

That's a wrap on Week 1 of Season 12! A brilliant opening week and the perfect start to what promises to be another cracking season. Massive thank you to every single player for showing up and putting in the graft — on the pitch and on the scales. Fresh season, fresh start, everything to play for! Keep going, keep believing, and we'll see you next week! For full stats, fixtures, league tables and live player tracking, head over to 👇

🌐 fatfives.football

29/08/2026

🎬 STEVIE G JUST ENDED THE COMPETITION FOR GOAL OF THE SEASON 😭🚀🔥
📝 Everyone else can go home 😂 Stevie G with an overhead kick so outrageous we had to watch it back three times just to believe it 😤 Eleven seasons of Fat Fives and we have never seen anything like it 🏆 Someone get this man a trophy 👇
🎥 Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

28/08/2026

🎬🏆 SEASON 11 FINALE HIGHLIGHTS ARE LIVE! 🏆🎬

That's a wrap on Season 11 — what a journey it's been! 🎉 Twelve weeks of the most brilliant football, incredible weight loss battles, comebacks, upsets, and moments we'll never forget. And the full Season 11 finale highlights are now up on YouTube — every trophy lifted, every award handed out, every winner revealed! 👀

Sit back, grab a brew, and catch every fixture from the final week plus the awards ceremony that closed out one heck of a season 👇

🎥 https://youtu.be/5IsgXCMtN34

Massive well done to every single player who took part in Season 11 — the effort, the graft, the goals, the weight losses and the community spirit have made this a season for the ages 💙 Huge congratulations to Fatburn Rovers on being crowned Season 11 Champions, and to every one of our brilliant award winners!

But hold up — we're NOT quite done yet! 🚨 There's ONE MORE trophy still to play for in Season 11: the CHAMPIONS CUP! 🏆 The top 2 from the League (Fatburn Rovers and Scrandinavia) face off against the top 2 from the Team Weight Loss League (Rapid Viennetta and Flaberdeen) in a four-team knockout to decide the final honour of the season. Don't miss it!

🌐 fatfives.football

OFFICIAL SEASON 11 SPONSORS 🤝 A huge thank you to our partners who'...

27/08/2026

🎬 FATBURN ROVERS ARE SEASON 11 CHAMPIONS 🏆🔥
📝 The moment they've been working towards all season 😤 Fatburn Rovers lift the Season 11 league winners shield and they have absolutely earned it 💥 Congratulations from everyone at Fat Fives Football 🙌👇
🎥 Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

26/08/2026

🎬 TOMMY CLOCKED THE KEEPER WAS DOWN AND DID NOT HESITATE 😭😂🔥
📝 The keeper barely had time to catch his breath from the last save and Tommy has already put it in the net 😂 Absolutely no mercy shown and honestly you can't blame him 😤 Right place right time and a brilliant header 👇
🎥 Full highlights: https://www.youtube.com/

26/08/2026

🙏🌟 END OF SEASON THANK YOU: SARCASTICALLY CREATIVE 🌟🙏

As Season 11 comes to a close, a massive thank you to Sarcastically Creative for their brilliant sponsorship and continued support throughout the entire campaign! 🙌

Sarcastically Creative have been a fantastic partner all season long — creating personalised craft products for our community, from water bottles and keyrings to personalised vinyl clothing printing and other garment personalisation. Their customised equipment printing and merchandise has helped shape the look and feel of Fat Fives Football throughout Season 11 and beyond — the community wouldn't be the same without their creative touch.

A massive thank you for all the hard work, creativity and ongoing support of our lads — it makes a real difference to every single player and to the whole Fat Fives Football experience. Cheers, Sarcastically Creative — we couldn't have done it without you! 💙

👉 Follow Sarcastically Creative: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100089659748238

🌐 fatfives.football

Two Sarcastic Cousins crafting together.

26/08/2026

🙏🌟 END OF SEASON THANK YOU: THE OFFSHORE COACH 🌟🙏

As Season 11 comes to a close, a massive thank you to The Offshore Coach for their brilliant sponsorship and support throughout the entire campaign! 🙌

The Offshore Coach has been an incredible partner all season long — offering their Online Coaching service to our members, providing an option for those seeking dedicated, tailored one-to-one coaching support that is focused on driving fat loss using the most effective methods. They've also been giving back to the whole community with free advice and regular content to help everyone on their weight loss journey, while players continue to have access to the Fat Fives Football Fat Loss Coach, with professional expertise from Tyler Wilson, a qualified Nutritionist and Personal Trainer.

From the massive weight losses on the scales week after week to every member who smashed their 5%, 10% and 15% milestones this season — none of it would have been possible without your dedicated support behind the scenes. Thank you for being such a huge part of making Season 11 a season to remember. Here's to keeping the momentum going! 💙

👉 Follow The Offshore Coach: https://www.instagram.com/theoffshorecoach/

🌐 fatfives.football

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