05/09/2026
I read The Courage To Be Disliked 😳
And I fear I may never look at social media the same again. 😂
Not only has it made me psychoanalyse myself more deeply, but now I’m looking at every1 else sideways too. 👀
Because once you understand the idea of the inferiority complex, you start seeing it EVERYWHERE.
The horrible posts.
The mean posts.
The egotistical posts.
The constant pandering for validation.
The “feel sorry for me” posts.
The “look at the injustice that has been done to me” posts.
The desperate need to prove somebody else is the villain.
The public arguments.
The indirects.
The constant need to tell everybody how unbothered you are...
But then it gets even more uncomfortable...
Because even the complete opposite can come from the same place.
The constant “look how amazing my life is” posts.
Look what I bought...
Look where I’m going...
Look how successful I am...
Look how desirable I am...
Look how happy I am...
Look how much better I’m doing than everybody else...
Superiority can sometimes just be inferiority wearing a nicer outfit.
And that made me sit back. 😳
Because according to the Adlerian ideas explored in the book, so much of what we do can become an attempt to compensate for feelings of inferiority!!
Sometimes we make ourselves smaller and seek sympathy.
Sometimes we make ourselves bigger and seek admiration.
Sometimes we need everybody to know how badly we've been treated.
Sometimes we need everybody to know how amazingly we're doing.
But underneath completely different behaviours can sit the same question:
Am I enough without somebody else confirming it?
Different behaviour.
Same wound.
And before anybody thinks I'm sitting on my high horse psychoanalysing everybody else... absolutely NOT. 😂
The most uncomfortable person I've ever had to analyse is myself.
In fact, I think this is one of the reasons I subconsciously came away from having a personal Facebook account and kept my social media presence pretty much strictly business.
Why do I need everybody to know where I am?
Why do I need everybody to know what I bought?
Why do I need everybody to know somebody hurt me?
Why do I need strangers to validate that an injustice was done to me?
And equally...
Why do I need everybody to see that I'm happy?
That I'm successful?
That I'm thriving?
That I'm desirable?
That I'm doing better than the person who hurt me?
Who exactly am I trying to convince?
Them?
Or me? 😳
Because whether we're making ourselves smaller so people sympathise with us, or making ourselves bigger so people admire us, both can become attempts to compensate for the feeling that simply being ourselves isn't enough.
And that is the part that got me.
Not “look how insecure everybody on social media is.”
But...
Where does inferiority show up in me, disguised as something else?
Now I’m looking at my own posts like...
Danielle, what exactly were YOU trying to prove here? 😭😂
And Adler is somewhere sitting on my shoulder asking:
“What is the goal of this behaviour?”
Even this post could be a subconscious feeling of inferiority by the need to share that I read lol
This book is dangerous. 😂
10/10 recommend. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
But be warned...
Once you start seeing it in other people, that's interesting.
When you start seeing it in yourself, that's where the real work begins. 👀
This is also an essential part of healing from disease. Feelings of lack and inferiority which can cause depression and anxiety can ABSOLUTELY make you sick!