02/09/2026
There's always a lad trying to be the alpha. I know, because I used to be one of the ones trying.
When kids from different schools merged into one year group, there were bullies from all sides trying to stamp their mark. Banter was constant. Sometimes I took it personally, sometimes I gave as good as I got β but there was always pressure to be tougher than I actually was.
Around the same time, I was learning about s*x ed on the playground instead of at home β it just wasn't a subject my dad could tackle β and getting torn apart for what I didn't know. It was humiliating. I had no guidance and no real idea what was going on with my own body or mind.
Looking back, so much of that βtougher than I actually wasβ performance was just fear, dressed up as banter.
A lot of what gets called βbanterβ between men is fear wearing a costume. The men who drop the act tend to end up genuinely respected, not just tolerated.
How do you feel about the word βbanterβ these days? Be honest in the comments.