23/05/2026
Some people don’t realise they’re putting you in a box.
They think they’re joking.
They think they’re making conversation.
They think they’re being funny.
And sometimes, at first, it is funny.
Until it keeps happening.
I watched the Kylie documentary and what stayed with me wasn’t the fame side of it. It was the constant questioning. Are you a singer or an actress? Are you pop or credible? Are you too old? Too young? Too much? Not enough?
And it made me think about how often people do this in normal life too.
They put you in a category, then seem genuinely confused when you don’t stay there.
I’ve had it over daft things like music.
“You can’t like rock, you listen to country.”
Sorry, what?
That has never made sense to me. I like what makes me feel good in that moment. Yes, country is usually my feel good place. Pop too. But I also love some rock.
There isn’t a committee meeting in my head deciding what genre I’m allowed to enjoy that day.
And it’s the same with being Scottish.
“You must like this because you’re Scottish.”
“You can’t like that because you’re Scottish.”
“Surely you eat this?”
As if every person born in the same country was handed the same personality pack at birth. Shortbread, bagpipes and a pre approved list of opinions. Handy.
At first, I get it. Sometimes it is tongue in cheek. A joke. A quick way people try to understand each other.
But it stops feeling funny when you can’t just relax and be yourself without constantly being reminded that you are not matching the version of you someone else expected.
That is the bit that gets uncomfortable.
When you’re not being seen, you’re being compared to a stereotype.
What a Scottish person should be.
What a woman your age should be.
What someone who likes country music should be.
What a “credible” person should like, say, wear or do.
And honestly, I’ve never understood it. Even as a child, when everyone was loving pop music, I loved pop too, but I also loved Tammy, Dolly and Shania.
And yes, Shania before she was everywhere in the UK. Before she became acceptable enough for people to suddenly admit they liked her too.
I didn’t hide it.
I loved it.
That was enough.
But you can tell when some people feel deeply uncomfortable with someone liking something that hasn’t been approved as cool yet.
And often, I think they like more than they admit. They just don’t feel free enough to say it out loud in case they get judged too.
That’s where it becomes bigger than music, age or nationality.
A lot of people are living by rules they never consciously chose.
Don’t stand out.
Don’t be too much.
Don’t admit you like that.
Act your age.
Stay in your lane.
Then years later, people wonder why they feel stuck in a life that looks acceptable but doesn’t fully feel like theirs.
This is the kind of work I’d love to do more of.
Helping people see where they’ve been holding back because somewhere along the way they learned it felt safer to be approved of than fully seen.
Approval can become a very quiet little cage.
It looks sensible from the outside, but inside you’re constantly editing yourself.
And honestly, when I have been working on alot around my health, its usually things like this that come up that at some point in life has caused more stress and frustration than it should have, not because of peoples small mindedness but because you start to feel like nobody really sees you for you, nobody respects you for being you and if you didnt shrink into their box life ended up feeling lonely.
If this feels relevant, you’re welcome to message me.
