17/06/2026
I’ve been asked recently about being authentic, and what does that really mean? A quick online search later, and the definition according to Co-pilot:
“Being authentic means living and acting in alignment with your true self, values, and beliefs, rather than conforming to external expectations or societal pressures”.
And if you can find a bigger irony that an AI tool telling a human what it means to be authentic, then be my guest.
Anyway, being a human trait, authenticity is more nuanced and a bit more complicated than just being true to yourself. It is often linked to well-being and good self -esteem because it’s about behaving on the outside how you feel on the inside. If you pretend to feel or think differently than you do, that just creates an internal conflict because we are keeping up a pretence. Even if that pretence is a defence mechanism, it won’t make you feel happy.
Someone said to me once that they found my confidence intimidating. When I got over my initial surprise, my reaction was that I am not intimidating, you are intimidated. And that’s about your self-confidence, not mine. Ultimately, I will be kind, but I will not make myself smaller so that you are more comfortable with yourself. That would not benefit either of us.
Authenticity does not mean brutal honesty. Of course, there are times when diplomacy is the best course. But pretending to be someone we are not, is not sustainable or healthy in the long term.