Harmonious Counselling

12/10/2026

Monday lens check 👓

Looking back across your weekend, what lens were you looking at your relationship through?

❤️ When did you feel happy and close?
💕 When did you feel in love, when everything seemed easy?
😔 When did you feel sad, hurt or a little disconnected?
😤 When were you frustrated and struggling to see eye to eye?

In those moments, did you see the person you love, who is human and imperfect, or did you find yourself telling a story that they were letting you down, not listening or not understanding you?

The lens through which we see our relationships is shaped throughout our lives. From our earliest experiences, the relationships we witnessed and the ways we learnt to protect ourselves and stay connected to the people who mattered most.

But what if you are looking at the person beside you through an outdated lens?

Maybe a difference of opinion feels like rejection. Maybe when your partner needs some space, you find yourself believing you are no longer wanted.

And in those moments, what does your partner hear from you?

Do they hear about your hurt, your fears, your needs and your expectations? Or do they hear frustration and criticism instead?

If we do not find a way to voice what is happening for us, how can the other person understand?

If we do not ask for what we need, how can the other person meet those needs?
And if we wait until our lens is so damaged that we can no longer see clearly, we risk losing sight of altogether.

Instead, let’s update the lens we are looking through. Let’s recognise when it is outdated. Let’s start looking with fresh eyes.

Let’s see each other more clearly, with greater understanding, and turn the black and white into the colour that is still there. Let’s rediscover.

Through new lenses, we can see more clearly and focus on new details, if we want to.
Harmonious Counselling

Building harmonious lives for individuals, couples and twos.

www.harmoniouscounselling.com

05/10/2026

Relationships can be a bit like panto with acting out happening and drama. Why this comparison? Well panto season adverts are here and panto works as we know who the hero / heroine and villain is and we boo the villain.

Many of us grew up with our own quiet version of panto at home, without realising it. One parent cast as the difficult one, the other as the reasonable one, each built into our homes without anyone naming it. Things such as 'ask your mother' or 'wait until your father gets home'. Maybe expectations cast as 'why are you not as good as your sister?' or 'your brother always gets it right'.

So what happens when a relationship does not have another to boo? It can feel quite strange rather than restful, because no one ever showed what peaceful contented harmonious relationships looked, or felt, like. Nervous systems at one with themselves.

My October blog on my sister website looks at why partners can be cast as villains to avoid real connection, and how relationship counselling helps you write a different script, together.

Relationships can cast a villain. Real connection can feel risky to hold onto, so you may pull away, pick a fight, or go quiet and withdraw just as closeness arrives. This post explores how love can follow panto rules, and how relationship counselling helps you change, and do differently, together.

14/09/2026

This!

We are a country, I believe, that does not do grief well. Grief needs voicing and witnessing. To 'wallow' is to 'with allow'.
https://www.facebook.com/reel/1602127594831096
I currently have one weekly online / telephone appointment available on a Monday at 12.30pm.
Do contact me if this session time works for you.
https://www.harmoniouscounselling.com/
https://myrelationshipcounselling.com/

03/09/2026

Wow! This is a repost from 6 years ago and this is still all relevant today.

Reflection:
How do you listen?
What, if anything, could you improve at?

www.harmoniouscounselling.com
www.myrelationshipcounselling.com

22/07/2026

I so agree with this..... especially counselling is not just for crisis.
When we live in harmony within ourself and have inner contentment, we feel more rested in our life and within our relationships.
I have a saying 'the abnormal becomes normal' and, invariably, it ca be we do not know why we feel a certain way as we have lifelong patterns. This is where therapy comes in to shine a light on what may be abnormal yet has become normal.
If you are feeling unrested, dissatisfied or feeling like life is passing you by, do reach out and find the therapist for you.
You can find my limited availability on my website: -
www.harmoniouscounselling.com

06/07/2026

Relationships come in many shapes and forms… and England showed up for us all this morning! ⚽

Waking up, immediately googling the result and then seeing the scoreline, I had FOMO instead of JOMO which I had gone to bed with! Yet that is ok, as I made a decision at 10pm last night to not stay up (think adult worker rather than free child! 😄). Watching the highlights, the passing, the unity and the goals, and seeing Kane and Bellingham standing strong, was electric!

Relationships today carry many social pressures and the one that everyone was talking about for the England team was high altitude, which was high pressure, yet England more than delivered. They excelled.

What we all know is that behind every public moment there are countless private ones where the lads have had early mornings, difficult conversations and have chosen to show up for training when no one is watching. As Tony Robbins says, we get rewarded in public for what we practise in private.

Your relationship is no different. The external challenges, the sweat that goes into ensuring you are where you need to be and not dropping the ball. The choosing to reach for each other when you are so knackered and have nothing left to give. These small daily acts of showing up are the big things that, like the England team, score! Every touch can ensure your relationship finds the back of the net! However, at times, it may feel like you are scoring own goals leaving you both feeling deflated. You are trying so hard not to yet you cannot fathom what is wrong in your pattern. That is where I come in to assist in changing your formation!

The daily stuff really is where your work is.

So if you need a Thomas Tuchel to help bring you both together harmoniously, do contact me.

www.harmoniouscounselling.com
www.myrelationshipcounselling.com

02/07/2026

How is your mental health / life today?

If you are struggling, or want to talk things through, therapy can be helpful.

The action is yours initially as, like Gillian, you have to take the first step in reaching out and choose someone you can get honest with.

We heal IN relationship.

https://www.facebook.com/reel/4150736785238853

www.harmoniouscounselling.com

03/06/2026

June's monthly thought ...... turned to blog.......
We are taught how to read, how to write, how to drive. Yet rarely are we taught how to be in a relationship? This month's blog explores what a healthy relationship is.
https://myrelationshipcounselling.com/blog/