30/05/2026
This is a picture of my parents on their wedding day. They didn't stay together and when I was 3 years old they had to go separate ways. I was staying with my mum until I was 9 years old and this was also the age when I saw her for the last time as I had to be taken away due to neglect. My mum didn't experience a great upbringing and was trying to forget her pain in alcohol. I was living around violence, unpredictability, fear, alcohol, blood and scenes that child shouldn't see.
After I was taken away I was then raised by my grandparents and although I had a very bumpy childhood and it left a big mark on me and the way I'm shaped. But I never felt any bitter feelings towards my mum or anyone really. Seeing people in pain about their past I feel this has been my blessing and saviour.
For the past couple of years I have a feeling that some shifts are happening in me and they allow me to melt of my armour little by little. I feel that I start to appreciate and love myself slowly which is a wonderful feeling and gives me authority and freedom.
I don't force my healing and just allow things slowly happen to me. Today something magical happened in my garden after which I wrote a poem. If you're interested in reading you'll find the English version translated by ai in the comment section.
And how timely this is as tomorrow is Mother's day in France. My heart feels especially full of gratitude for my mother in law who show love not only through words, but through presence, care, gentleness, and warmth. š¤
Tu esi blakus, mÄmiÅ.
SkaistÄ, baltÄ roze,
Tu esi kÄ magnÄts dÄrzÄ manÄ.
Jau jÅ«tu, ka atkal nemanÄmi spÄki
Velk mani,
Un es esmu pilnÄ«gi tavÄ varÄ.
Maigi apÅemu vienu ziedu Äemuru ar plaukstÄm,
IegremdÄju degunu tajÄ.
HipnotizÄjoÅ”s aromÄts ielÄ«st manÄ«.
PlakstiÅiem smagums, tie neturas vaļÄ.
KamÄr uz mirkli pazaudÄju sevi
Un reibstu maigumÄ tavÄ,
JÅ«tu pierei pieglaužamies vÄsu ziedkopu
KÄ mÄtes mīļu un gÄdÄ«gu roku.
Simtiem sajÅ«tu uzsprÄgst manÄ«.
Asaras pie rozes saknÄm skrien.
Es ļaujos.
Un ļauju MÄtei Dabai dziedinÄt mani.
"MÄmiÅa tava vienmÄr blakus," viÅa teic.
