10/05/2022
This reminds me of why I love ceramics. As a creative selling my work, I had grown obsessed with perfection. Confession: I have been known to make and remake each loop on necklaces etc multiple times until they are perfectly round. The little links that hold things together that no one ever notices! - but I notice and only perfect little Os will do. With glass most accidents are happy ones, with ceramics - not so much. I would strut to the kiln to pull out my masterpiece and it would be cracked, misshapen or the glaze would be splodgy and uneven. It was confidence-shattering. Then my tutor told me to āembrace the processā and it changed everything. My pots were still wonky but I really experienced their making- the joy of making- the mindfulness of it where nothing exists but you and the piece. Making over the years has become part of me, part of my therapy, source of my sanity.
I came to making late in life. I was quite academically gifted and in our society I was encouraged to be sensible and follow a professional career. More to the point, the opportunity to create in my education was very limited especially as I canāt draw, sew and burn everything I cook. It is only by trying everything that I found my little niche, by facing failure I found fulfilment.
Embracing the process, doing things that bring us joy for no other reason than that we love them is an important part of life and should be valued as much as the things we do well. It makes us who we are.
āWhen I was 15, I spent a month working on an archeological dig. I was talking to one of the archeologists one day during our lunch break and he asked those kinds of āgetting to know you,ā questions you ask young people: Do you play sports? Whatās your favorite subject? And I told him, no I donāt play any sports. I do theater, Iām in choir, I play the violin and piano, I used to take art classes.
And he went WOW. Thatās amazing! And I said, ā
āOh no, but Iām not any good at ANY of them.ā
And he said something then that I will never forget and which absolutely blew my mind because no one had ever said anything like it to me before: ā I donāt think being good at things is the point of doing them. I think youāve got all these wonderful experiences with different skills, and that all teaches you things and makes you an interesting person, no matter how well you do them.ā
And that honestly changed my life. Because I went from a failure, someone who hadnāt been talented enough at anything to excel, to someone who did things because I enjoyed them. I had been raised in such an achievement-oriented environment, so inundated with the myth of Talent, that I thought it was only worth doing things if you could āWinā at them.ā
Kurt Vonnegut