23/09/2026
This time next week Jo will be all packed for Paris. I will probably do it next Thursday night.
We had our final team meeting on Tuesday night, and it all feels real now. We've come a long way from thinking the first message was a scam!
We have clients and friends continually saying they didn’t even know a massage tournament was a thing (I didn’t either), and how can you compete in massage? It is not how fast you can complete a massage. Judges will be watching everything we do. They will be looking at technique, quality of touch, flow, practitioner presence, quality of transitions, posture and overall experience. Apparently some individuals really put on a show, I am sure they will love my cartwheel over the person’s back to get to the other side of the table. (I hope you know I am kidding.)
Jo is competing in Bodywork, bringing Kinetic Chain Release, Connective Tissue Release and yoga therapy together. I'm in the Ayurvedic category, where this year's brief is low back relief. That means an assessment first, then a treatment built for the person on the table. Not 100% sure who I will be working on but it is someone on our team and everyone else in our team is the Vata dosa which will certainly make it easier.
For the last few weeks I’ve been practising timings and running my routine. Jo's routine is pretty much what she does every day, so she’s been practicing for this for years without knowing. I've had to adjust mine a little to show off Ayurvedic massage and all the different elements involved. It has actually made me rethink the 45 minute massage as I think the client experience this way is really excellent.
At the meeting we talked about how we're going to dress the table. I'm a man, a simple being. I didn't even know dressing the table was a thing! Luckily I have a tartan scarf to go with my kilt and a wife who’s an expert in making things look good.
Jo doesn't think I should wear the kilt on the plane. What do you think? I wore it on a flight to a friend's wedding once, and airport security weren’t keen. No strip search was required, but it was everything but (picture hand up kilt). Anyway, I'm wearing it. Jo can pretend she isn't with me, as we're not paying extra to sit together. I reckon Jo would pay extra to sit apart.
It will be a bit different from our last trip to Paris 13 years ago, when Jo was in a lot of pain before her hip operation. It won’t be all wandering, sightseeing, croissants, meals and w**e this time, but we’re looking forward to a little of that.
So many of you have already chipped in on Gofundme. Thank you so much for your support. If you'd like to help us over the last stretch, our GoFundMe is in the comments.
We'll share what we can from Paris, including how long I get stopped at security.