04/05/2026
- Real
- Raw
- Vulnerable
Why do I share this?
I went back and forth…
should I post this or not?
And at the same time, it felt significant.
So here I am.
---
As a parent, we carry so much—
guilt, pressure, responsibility.
We go through things… sometimes alone…
and sometimes without even realising
how much it is affecting us.
And the truth is…
that can spill out.
Into our homes.
Onto our children.
---
I had a moment where I was faced with a hard truth.
There was a time in my experience as a parent
where I didn’t have the capacity
or the regulation
to hold my emotions, my hurt, my pain.
And it came out.
In shouting.
In being distant.
In shutting down.
Not because I didn’t love my children…
but because I was in pain.
---
Now hear me clearly…
Whatever reasons a parent may have—
they may be valid…
but they are never an excuse.
And it is never for the child
to understand, carry, or hold.
---
A child never deserves
our projections placed onto them.
They are not responsible
for meeting our needs.
---
So I take full responsibility
for my behaviour
and for the impact it will have had.
And I have been in repair.
And I will continue to repair.
To stay aware.
To stay conscious.
To keep showing up differently.
---
Because children—no matter their age—
don’t need excuses.
Their parts… their inner child…
needs to hear:
“I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
“You didn’t deserve that.”
They need to be seen.
Acknowledged.
Validated.
And they need to feel
that you are doing better… consistently.
---
Not:
“But I was going through…”
“It’s in the past, get over it…”
---
Don’t shut it down
just because it brings up pain, shame, or guilt.
Because the truth is—
you may have hurt someone
without ever intending to.
And I know how hard that is to face.
---
There was a time where accepting that truth
felt like it broke me.
Like I had failed.
Like I should carry that guilt forever.
---
But that isn’t the full truth either.
Because alongside those moments…
there was also care.
There was nurture.
There was presence.
There was always more
than just the unregulated moments.
---
So this is what I’ve learned:
Be sorry.
Be responsible.
Say sorry—and mean it.
And don’t project.
---
I hope this reaches anyone who needs to hear it.
Because I know there are many adult children
still waiting to hear the same “I’m sorry”
that I have given my own.
