Blue Waves Counselling

02/09/2026

🌊 A boundary can feel wrong before it feels right.
Especially if you’ve spent years putting other people’s needs before your own.

🗣️ You finally say no…

🙁and immediately feel guilty!

~ you explain yourself
~you worry you’ve upset someone
~you replay the conversation in your head and wonder whether you were too harsh
~you might even want to take it back (I know I have at times)

But really, feeling guilty doesn’t actually mean you’ve done something wrong…sometimes, guilt is simply what happens when you’ve done something unfamiliar 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you’ve always said yes, when secretly you want to say no - choosing yourself can feel uncomfortable at first

If you had to keep the peace growing up or in a certain relationship, speaking openly and honestly about your needs can feel very risky. If you had to take responsibility for everyone else’s feelings, disappointing someone can feel unbearable.

But having boundaries isn’t about being unkind, it’s about recognising that your needs matter too.

You can be kind and have limits and you can disappoint someone without having done anything wrong.

🌊 Kate @ blue waves counselling
📍 Exeter | Online

01/09/2026

📞 A little note about getting in touch…

The best way to contact me is by email or text message.

I can’t always answer my work phone, as I may be with a client or somewhere that isn’t suitable to take a call whilst protecting your privacy.

If you email or text me, we can arrange a convenient time to have a free, 15-minute, no-obligation introductory call.

That way, I can give you my full attention and we can speak properly.

🌊 Kate @ Blue Waves Counselling
📍 Exeter | Online

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26/08/2026

🌊 Check out my latest blog if you’re considering counselling due to a tricky relationship 🌊

When we’re going through life changes, like tricky relationships, we can find that either everyone is trying to give us their bit of advice, or we feel alone with the changes and decisions we need to make. This is where talking to a trained professional can help with the confusion, overwhelm and l...

26/08/2026

🌊

DBT Skills.

26/08/2026

If anyone is coming to the centre today, avoid Polsloe bridge

Traffic jams are backing up in the city

26/08/2026

🌊 if you are anticipating feelings of loss as you approach your children moving to University and how your life will change, email me if you’d like to discuss it further

25/08/2026

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24/08/2026

🌊 Do you…

🫥 struggle to say no?
🫥 worry about disappointing people?
🫥 apologise when you’ve done nothing wrong?
🫥 put everyone else’s needs first?
🫥 avoid conflict at almost any cost?

Being kind and considerate isn’t a problem, in fact it’s rather lovely ☺️

But, when keeping everyone else happy means abandoning yourself, it comes at a cost. I know - I’ve been there.

Learning to have boundaries doesn’t make you selfish, it simply means your needs matter too.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did it go when you put a boundary in? 👇

🌊 Kate @ Blue Waves Counselling
📍 Exeter | Online

21/08/2026

🌊

21/08/2026

🌊

When you grow up in chaos, your definition of a "good life" can become very different.
You may not dream about mansions, expensive cars, or having everything.
Sometimes, you just dream about feeling safe.
You dream about coming home and not having to read the room before you relax.
You dream about disagreements that don't turn into screaming, silent treatment, threats, or days of tension.
You dream about being loved without constantly wondering what you did wrong.
You dream about having enough money that your stomach doesn't drop every time something unexpected happens.
You dream about a relationship where you don't have to beg for reassurance, chase affection, or prove that you're worthy of staying for.
Because when you grew up in a dysfunctional home, peace can feel like the luxury you never had.
And sometimes, this follows you into adulthood in ways you don't immediately recognize.
You become hyper-independent because depending on people never felt safe.
You overthink changes in someone's tone because you learned that small shifts could mean something bad was coming.
You apologize when you've done nothing wrong.
You struggle to relax when everything is going well.
You may even mistake chaos for chemistry because unpredictability feels more familiar than consistency.
But healing can slowly teach you something different:
Home doesn't have to hurt.
Love doesn't have to make you anxious.
Peace doesn't have to be temporary.
And you don't have to spend the rest of your life surviving what childhood taught you to expect.
You are allowed to build the kind of life your younger self used to quietly wish for.
A soft one.
A stable one.
A safe one.
A life you don't need to recover from.❤️‍🩹
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