16/06/2026
Diving into your emotions isn't for everyone.
Some people move straight into action. They always have, and they probably always will. And that's okay.
For those of us who feel deeply, it's easy to compare ourselves and wonder why we're still crying, still processing, still sitting with the same emotions months later.
Then I catch myself and ask: who's judging?
The inner critic.
The part of me that wants to be healed, aligned, and "over it" before the lesson has fully landed.
But maybe the question isn't:
"Why am I being shown this again?"
Maybe it's:
"What is this trying to teach me that I haven't fully learned yet?"
This past year, one thing has become incredibly clear:
A regulated nervous system is the authority in the room.
At the beginning of this chapter, my mantra was simple:
Boundaries with an open heart.
Somewhere along the way, I got swept away by tsunami of emotions.
I reacted many times, instead of responding.
I found myself caught in old patterns. Shame and guilt followed, and my whole body felt the weight of it.
There's a huge difference between reactivity and intuition.
When we're reactive, our nervous system is on high alert. We speak from survival, fear, anger, or hurt.
When we're moving from intuition, we can speak the same truth, but our body feels calm. We haven't given our power away. We remain connected to our inner knowing.
Today I started my morning with meditation, listened to a brilliant podcast sent by a dear friend, followed by a swim and sauna.
I recognise what a privilege that is.
My biggest challenge this year hasn't been healing.
It's been discipline.
I've been inconsistent.
And when I look back honestly, that's where so much of the chaos crept in.
It's fu***ng hard to be disciplined when you're depressed.
There was a time when I could shift my energy quickly and use it to be creative through my work. This season has been different.
It's involved deep reflection, rumination, feeling everything, and at times becoming trapped in thought loops so loud that I fed them instead of breaking them.
The wild thing is that I keep arriving back at the same lesson:
Boundaries with an open heart.
So why did things become so chaotic?
Because I stopped consistently doing the things that support me.
The yoga mat.
The gym.
The walks.
The practices that raise my energy and bring me back to myself.
No blame. Just accountability.
Along this journey, I've experienced moments of alignment so profound they've left me in awe of life.
And yet I still found ways to stand in my own way.
Why?
Because I became familiar with feeling awful.
I forgot my purpose.
My confidence collapsed.
Many times, it felt easier to pour a glass of wine or crawl into bed at 8pm than it did to show up for myself.
That wasn't wise, it was a quick fix.
That was pain.
That was a nervous system trying to survive.
Healing isn't just about feeling.
It's about feeling, learning, and then choosing differently.
Again.
And again.
And again.
Boundaries with an open heart.
I'm finally beginning to understand what that really means, but now it’s about fully embodying it.
Not perfection.
Not bypassing.
Not rushing the process.
But creating the safety within myself to stay open, while honouring what I will and won't accept.
A regulated nervous system changes everything.
And that's the work I'm committed to now. 🫶
Photo taken last year in Maui. Anxiety-ridden, but smiling anyway. Sometimes the brightest smiles hide the heaviest battles.
