03/09/2026
💜 SOMETHING I NEED TO TALK ABOUT
I am a massage therapist — and I'm a good one.
I've trained hard. I've worked hard. I've spent years learning my profession and looking after people. I've recently taken another huge leap and opened my own recovery studio in Lichfield, providing professional massage to people who genuinely need it.
But from the very beginning, I've been dealing with something I never expected to have to deal with on this scale.
Men asking for extras.
Men asking whether it's a sensual massage. Asking to be completely naked. Refusing to cover themselves. And some who have been quite explicit about what they want me to massage.
To say this is becoming a daily grind is an understatement.
It's soul destroying.
You train. You qualify. You work hard. You build something you're proud of — and then someone comes along and reduces you to nothing more than a s*xual object because you're a woman who massages people.
And I hate that my profession seems to have to live in the same murky pond as the s*x industry.
Now, I want to be really clear here.
I don't look down on s*x workers. They have a right to earn an honest living, and there is clearly a demand for the services they provide.
What I object to is businesses advertising themselves as massage businesses when massage is simply the cover story for something else.
I did my market research before opening my studio. I could see there were several massage businesses in Lichfield city centre that had been there for years.
I thought, quite naively, *well, they must be there because there is a genuine market for massage.*
Then I discovered what some of them actually were.
Knocking shops.
And when I started looking into it, I realised it wasn't just an assumption. The evidence was there.
And that's when something else started to bother me.
The men.
Because yes, I'm sure some are simply looking for s*xual gratification.
But I don't think that's the whole story for all of them.
I think some of these men are incredibly lonely.
I think some of them are craving human touch and connection, but somewhere along the way they've confused being touched with something s*xual.
And perhaps that's why they keep going back.
They're looking for something, but they don't actually understand what it is they're looking for.
Because there is something incredibly powerful about safe, respectful, professional human touch.
A proper massage isn't just about muscles.
When I am working with a client and there is trust between us, the way I massage can feel almost like a tender hug.
Head to toe.
Gentle when it needs to be gentle. More focused when the body needs attention.
No expectations.
No s*xualisation.
No judgement.
Just another human being giving you an hour of their time, attention and care.
And when that hour is over, something different can happen.
You can feel relaxed.
You can feel lighter.
You can feel that somebody actually listened to you.
That somebody saw you.
That for one hour, you were cared for rather than sold something.
And maybe that's what some of these men are actually searching for.
Not s*x.
Not an empty moment of s*xual release that leaves them feeling even more alone afterwards.
Maybe they simply need to experience what it feels like to be touched without it being about s*x.
That is something I can give.
But I will only ever give it within the boundaries of my profession.
I am a massage therapist.
I am not a s*x worker.
And I don't want my profession to be swallowed up by people using the word *massage* to sell something completely different.
Maybe we need to start talking about the difference.
Because there is nothing s*xual about wanting to feel cared for.
There is nothing wrong with needing human touch.
And there is nothing wrong with a man wanting to lie down for an hour, switch off, and simply be looked after.
Perhaps we've just forgotten what that can feel like.
💜
**This is exactly why The Soul Tribe exists — to talk about the things we don't always talk about.**
There is Unity in CommUnity. https://www.facebook.com/groups/2188668731674881
