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18/08/2026

Ive been told and told to be kind to myself

So i decided to book into this little Gem i found.

I spent 1 hour in this

🔥 Fire and 🧊 Ice with a red light therapy.

1st time ive done a cold plunge and loved it whilst listening to meditation music 🎶
After that I did 1 hour in an oxygen tent relaxing to more meditation music.
Came out feeling very chilled and hungry lol.
Highly recommended 👌 and so proud of me 🙏💫💫⭐️

29/07/2026

So just decided to record a video instead of going live
Just come out of my 3rd counceilling session
I feel Sh*t
Ive sat in the car at aldi for over 30mins
People going shopping amd coming back and I cant move.
Im stuck....
I feel numb with pain and just feel like im existing

28/07/2026

27/07/2026

I live in a lovely part of the country and need to get out more, so today i forced myself to take the two rascals out because it wasn't to hot for them... it was flipping windy wow. It was so nice being up there where dogs can just run free and the views are beautiful 😍

26/07/2026

Leroy I miss us 😢 💔✨️

I have so many photos of us over the last 15years .
When you walked in the room its was full of smiles how could anyone not smile at your wonderful smile 😊.
your were always positive ✨️ even when things didnt go our way.
I miss all the stuff that bugged me. Our dogs miss your cuddles 😢
I think about you 24/7, everything is a memory or I want to tell you.. but i cant physically anymore.
Life is so cruel 💔 There is so many things I want to do, but I want to do with you....

I feel so lost 😞 from outside I look ok. but every inch of me hurts without you
I dont want to socialise even though people want to see me, I feel so flat.
ive lost my spark ✨️ I felt it left with you Leroy 💔

22/07/2026

Today i had my 1st proper conceilling session.
Its brought up so many questions about me. How i deal with stuff in life before January and since I lost Leroy D Joseph.
I currently get up washed and sort my dogs out
Then the black cloud ☁️ just goes around all day with me whether its something planned a nice day with family or friends 🧡 I dress up bright like I always would and put the smile on but the grim repearer is alway there to being me back down to earth...
I cant see any future for me
Except for watching my family blossom 🌸
I have days planned and a cruised booked joining friends but im not excited about any of it (its not u guys its me)
I just feel numb 😕 surround by blackness and not sure where im going....

16/07/2026

07/07/2026

Im currently on the sick from work due to the terrible overwhelming feeling, the heaviness in my chest and just out if control and in flight or fight 24/7
Ive had two incidents in last two weeks where i went into meltdown instantly

Im sat here pondering what im doing with my life... what im gonna do.. what my future looks like.
Today i feel calm for 1st time in a long time. To be fair I feel very numb.
My blood pressure has been running high for months ,no wonder in flight or fight mode. But ive been asked to monitor it and today is a very good reading. Shown in pics.
Ive been taking aged garlic capsules and beetroot tablets for a few months and drinking nettle tea and hibiscus tea when I can. Ive completed a 6 week beginners course of Aerial Yoga and been doing reformed pilates. Im trying to put positivity into my life.
So a little positive I found today in the awful world of pain im in 💔

06/07/2026

YES...... get in England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
Best game ive watched for ages. The team worked together so well...
FANTASTIC 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿
10men still 2-3 to England. They played brilliant
112mins in the altitude 👌 WOW

Leroy D Joseph would of loved it

Quarter finals next but against Norway eeekkkk