PCM Life Coaching

14/05/2026

Some people will only see your value once they can no longer access you.
Know your worth anyway

Stop shrinking yourself to fit places that were never meant for your growth.
Protect your peace. Set the boundary. Walk away if you have to.

The right people won’t make you question your value✌️❤️

loveyourself values

06/05/2026

27/04/2026

Domestic Abuse isn’t just what you can see and I never knew this when I was in my relationship with my ex partners because I hadn’t learnt that abuse wasn’t just physical!!! I had no visible bruises so I thought it was just a “tough” relationship!!

But it’s the words that chip away at your confidence, the control that makes you second-guess yourself, the fear that lingers even when they’re not in the room.

Smear campaigns are abuse when they rewrite history to make themselves the victim and paint you as the villain. When they make people doubt you, when you’re left picking up the pieces of your own reputation while they stand back and watch.
They twist the narrative, making you seem unstable, difficult, unfit. They play the long game, undermining you at every turn while keeping their hands clean. Saying you have mental health issues (I mean who wouldn’t experiencing abuse but it’s the consequence NOT the symptom.)The legal system becomes another weapon, draining you emotionally and financially while they pretend to be the perfect parent.

And then there’s the doubt. The shame. The guilt. You wonder if you imagined it and if it was really that bad and if you were the problem. And if you stayed, it wasn’t because you were weak. It wasn’t because you didn’t try hard enough and it wasn’t because you’re broken or flawed or incapable. It was because, in that moment, your nervous system decided that staying was safer than leaving and sometimes, it actually was.

Trauma responses are not choices, they are survival mechanisms.

And yet, people judge. “Why didn’t you just leave?” Your experience is real and your feelings are valid and your healing is not up for debate. Survivors don’t need to be fixed and just because you didn’t witness it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen and many survivors do not even realise they’ve experienced domestic abuse until they’ve left when there are no visible bruises.

Let’s stop the victim blaming and criticising people for how they survived what they never should have had to endure in the first place.

And if you’ve been affected by abuse, you are not alone.

25/04/2026

Every time someone says “It was only a few messages” they miss the point.

Context matters, history matters, pattern matters, fear matters.

Abuse is not judged by one screenshot, it is judged by the impact and the course of conduct.

Start listening to the full story.

25/04/2026

Forgiving someone does not mean tolerating their behavior. It doesn’t even mean to forget the way it hurt you, or even allow it to hurt you again.

Forgiveness means to make peace with what had happened.

It means acknowledging your wound, giving yourself permission to feel pain, and understanding that pain no longer serves you.

It means letting go of the pain and resentment so that you can heal and move on.

Forgiveness is a gift to yourself.
It frees you from the past and allows you to live in the present. When you forgive yourself and forgive others, you are truly free.

To forgive means to set a prisoner free, and discover that that prisoner, was you..

Is it easy to forgive? , no, it’s not easy!!. But when you don’t forgive, you’ll be sick of resentment, hatred, anger, anger, bitterness, resentment and sadness. Etc. And they are such damaging emotions; that when you finally forgive, you heal, you don’t know how much you heal.

24/04/2026

Much love 💜💜

❤❤❤ abusedvictim abusedchildhood abusevictimsurvivor
trauma
traumarecovery abuse survivor traumahealingjourney
narcissisticabuserecovery
familialabuse
traumahealing
mentalhealth
proudofyou yourlife youcandoit notbroken liveyourbestlife You dontworryaboutit

13/04/2026

COERCIVE CONTROL
Death by Coercive Control - When abuse kills without leaving a mark.
When we think of domestic abuse killing a woman, we picture physical violence, a body covered in bruises, broken limbs, bullet wounds wounds mostly inflicted with a weapon.
Some women are killed slowly not by blows to the body, but by the systematic destruction of their sense of self, their freedom, their hope, and their will to live, this is what death by coercive control is.
Coercive control is not a moment of violence, it is a pattern that is sustained, deliberate, and calculated designed to make a woman dependent, isolated, afraid, and trapped.

The abuser controls everything, her finances, her movements, her relationships, in fact her whole reality. He monitors everything, humiliates, threatens, and
manipulates her, he doesn’t need to hit her to cause significant harm.
She lives in a cage which is invisible to others but it’s very real for her and over time the psychological impact is severe.

Women subjected to coercive control experience entrapment, a hostage-like state where escape feels impossible and the future feels foreclosed much like prisoners of war. Research consistently shows that this kind of prolonged abuse is strongly associated with PTSD, depression, and suicidality. In fact, studies find that survivors often report the psychological harm of non-physical abuse as more damaging than physical violence because the bruises are visible to others and they heal.
Most of these deaths are invisible, they are recorded as suicides and the abuser walks free. No inquest examines the pattern of control that preceded the death. No prosecutor asks what he did to her, day after day, until she saw no way out. We are not counting these women as victims of femicide and importantly we do not name what happened to them.

12/04/2026

Violence Against Women & Girls (VAWG) includes behaviours from catcalling to r**e, including domestic abuse.

Report to police on 101 or at your nearest station. 🚨 Always call 999 in an emergency.

Support & info: www.bexley.gov.uk/vawg

12/04/2026

narcissisticabuserecovery
familialabuse
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