Holli Rubin BA MSW

Holli Rubin BA MSW Psychotherapist. Body image specialist. Mental health practitioner.

19/03/2026

Our relationship with money is shaped by far more than numbers.

It’s influenced by the roles we grow up seeing - who earns, who manages, who makes financial decisions, and what independence looks like within relationships.

Those patterns are shifting, but the conversations around money, power, and partnership are still evolving.

In this clip from my conversation with Andrea Solana, Partner & Head of Advanced Planning at MASECO, I touch on how gender roles have historically shaped financial dynamics - and why supporting women’s financial independence at every stage of life remains so important.

I’m looking forward to continuing this conversation at MASECO’s Female Voices event: “Money on the Mind - Past, Present and Future” tomorrow, where we’ll explore how early money stories continue to influence the way women think about finances today.

I’ve noticed more women wearing their engagement ring on their middle finger.Not as a statement. Not as a rejection of t...
14/03/2026

I’ve noticed more women wearing their engagement ring on their middle finger.

Not as a statement. Not as a rejection of the past. More as a quiet re-framing.

Midlife relationships often change. Marriages end. Identities shift. And with that can come a feeling that we’re supposed to erase what came before - sell the ring, put it away, move on quickly. But what if it doesn’t have to be so final?

An engagement ring once held meaning. That meaning doesn’t disappear just because a relationship does. Sometimes it can be reshaped - not cancelling the past, but allowing it and ourselves to evolve.

Wearing it differently can reflect a different relationship now. The relationship with yourself. One that honours where you’ve been while making space for where you are.

Midlife asks us to do this in so many ways - not to delete old versions of ourselves, but to integrate them into who we are now and who we will continue to become. To carry the memories, while choosing how we move forward.

Call me old-fashioned, but I still write with a pen and paper.I can’t think without a pen in my hand.There’s something a...
25/02/2026

Call me old-fashioned, but I still write with a pen and paper.

I can’t think without a pen in my hand.

There’s something about the physical act of writing that keeps me focused.

I’ve tried iPads with Apple pens so that I could read my own writing and download and save easily but…it didn’t stick.

There’s nothing I like more than when there is scientific backing to prove my own findings.

Studies show that we’re far more likely to remember information when we write by hand rather than type. Handwriting asks the brain to slow down and actively process what’s being recorded, instead of simply transcribing it. That extra step strengthens understanding and recall.

Writing by hand also engages the prefrontal cortex - the part of the brain responsible for focus, planning, and meaning-making. When we underline, circle, or colour-code, we create visual and spatial memory cues. We don’t just remember what we wrote, but where it lived on the page.

In a world that values speed and efficiency, handwriting offers something different. It invites depth. It slows the process just enough for ideas to land, settle, and stay with us.

Valentine’s Day can stir up a mix of feelings.For some, it’s a celebration. For others, it can quietly highlight what is...
13/02/2026

Valentine’s Day can stir up a mix of feelings.

For some, it’s a celebration. For others, it can quietly highlight what is missing - even when life feels otherwise full.

The definition of love can also become so narrow around this time of year.

Midlife tends to broaden that definition. Friendships deepen. Community matters more. Self-care becomes less optional. Love doesn’t always sit neatly inside a romantic relationship.

That’s why something like Galentine’s Day resonates for so many - not as a replacement, but as an expansion. A way of acknowledging the friendships and connections that hold us through different seasons of life.

In a world where the day has become increasingly commercialised, it’s worth remembering that love isn’t measured by cards, gifts, or dinners out. It’s felt in connection - in friendships, in chosen family, in moments of care, and in how you show up for yourself.

Therapy can be transformative - but finding the right therapist and the right fit matters just as much as showing up.It’...
15/01/2026

Therapy can be transformative - but finding the right therapist and the right fit matters just as much as showing up.

It’s not unusual to rely on partners or friends to talk things through, but they can only do so much. They’re too close to the situation, and often carry their own emotional load. Therapy gives you a space that’s yours, with someone trained to help you look deeper and make sense of what’s really going on.

And therapy isn’t just for crisis or depression. It’s for anyone who feels stuck, disconnected, or simply aware that something isn’t quite right.

The relationship with your therapist is key. You need to feel safe, seen, and understood. It’s completely okay to “interview” a few before you find that connection. Ask questions. Pay attention to how you feel in the room. And if it doesn’t feel right - trust yourself.

Therapy should challenge you at times, but it should never leave you feeling small or unheard.

When it works, you’ll notice subtle shifts: more clarity, lighter shoulders, a growing sense that you’re starting to understand yourself and the people around you in new ways.

Therapy isn’t about being fixed. It’s about finding your way back to yourself.

09/01/2026

A gentle reminder that the start of a new year doesn’t have to be loud, fast, or full of resolutions.

There’s a lot of messaging this time of year about resetting, fixing, or getting ahead. But for many, the most supportive way to enter a new year is gently - with curiosity rather than a long to-do list of goals.

You don’t need to know your goals yet.
You don’t need to rush into change.

A grounded entry into the new year might look like moving slowly. Noticing what your body needs. Letting yourself arrive before deciding where you’re going.

After a holiday season that can be emotionally and physically full, it’s okay to pause and take your time finding your rhythm again.

In recent years, I’ve had more male enquiries in my private practice - and it’s an encouraging shift.For a long time, th...
11/12/2025

In recent years, I’ve had more male enquiries in my private practice - and it’s an encouraging shift.

For a long time, therapy was seen as something women did at least more readily. But more men are now recognising that emotional awareness isn’t weakness - it’s strength.

Many of the men I work with come to therapy in midlife, a time when roles, identity, and purpose can all start to feel shakey. After years of focusing on work, family, and responsibility, they begin to ask: What about me? What do I actually want for the next stage of my life?

Culturally, men have often been taught to keep going, to provide, to earn. But that pressure can become heavy, leaving little room to express themselves - their vulnerability, stress, or doubt.

Therapy creates space for honesty. It helps men make sense of what’s happening beneath the surface - the habits, expectations, and fears that shape how they live and relate to others.

It’s not about crisis or “fixing what’s wrong.” It’s about curiosity, awareness, and building a more authentic connection with yourself and with the people you love.

The more we normalise men seeking support, the better they begin to understand themselves, and the healthier our relationships, families, and communities become.

AI therapy is everywhere now. Instant support at your fingertips, ready whenever you are.It’s a powerful tool, and for m...
04/12/2025

AI therapy is everywhere now. Instant support at your fingertips, ready whenever you are.

It’s a powerful tool, and for many, it offers access and immediacy that can make a real difference. But it also raises an interesting question: can technology truly replace human connection?

Think about how you feel after a FaceTime compared to an in-person conversation. Or when you send a text instead of hearing someone’s voice. There’s a difference, and your body knows it.

So much of how we connect, communicate, and regulate our nervous system comes from being in connection with another person. From tone, presence, energy, body language.

AI can mirror what you say, but it can’t read what you mean. It can’t offer perspective, or hold silence in the way another human can.

Perhaps it has a place in the helping profession, but not as a replacement. Because therapy, at its core, isn’t about efficiency.
�It’s about presence and connection. Therapy is the felt experience of being witnessed, seen, accepted, and understood.

How do we raise emotionally healthy boys in a world that often tells them not to feel?There’s no perfect formula, but on...
28/11/2025

How do we raise emotionally healthy boys in a world that often tells them not to feel?

There’s no perfect formula, but one thing feels clear:

When boys are met with empathy and allowed to be fully human, they grow into men who can feel and can then do the same for others.

Alone and lonely - they’re often used interchangeably, but they mean very different things.Being alone can be restorativ...
21/11/2025

Alone and lonely - they’re often used interchangeably, but they mean very different things.

Being alone can be restorative. It’s space to process, reflect, and come back to yourself. Some people need more of that time than others - especially if life feels “on” all the time. Alone time can be a form of self-care.

Time needed to recharge - especially that social battery that seems to be “on” all the time.

But not everyone finds alone time comfortable.

For some, being alone can feel confronting or even anxiety-inducing. If that’s the case for you, it can be worth asking why. What comes up for you in that quiet space?

“Lonely”, loneliness or feeling lonely, on the other hand, is something different. It’s often triggered by change: children leaving home, shifting routines, breakups, or even simply the passing of a season. Loneliness is experienced in the absence of connection, not the absence of company.

In those moments, it’s the small interactions that matter even more. Being greeted by the familiar barista, smiling at someone on your morning walk, starting a brief chat with a neighbour. They’re tiny moments of connection that we all need and that remind us that we’re part of something.

If you’re feeling lonely, try to push yourself gently toward contact. Not just a text, but a phone call, a walk, a shared coffee.

It’s okay to feel lonely. It’s part of being human. What matters is recognising it, and reaching out, even in small ways, when you do. You’ll be amazed at what will come up.

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