07/06/2026
When a Simulation Starts to Feel Like a Relationship
Iāve just finished this monthās āThe Psychologistā from the British Psychological Society covering a topic you are probably familiar withā¦
āMe and AIā
Most of us get that AI is reshaping the way we think, work, learn, connect, and understand ourselves.
This edition raises important issues through pieces such as āOrdinary Inadequacies of Conversational AIā and āAgainst the Automation of Intimacyā. I also appreciated its discussion of how teenagers are using AI, that they ādonāt care if ChatGPT isnāt a therapistā¦ it helps.ā
Whether we are comfortable with that or not, there are times when it clearly does.
I too have found myself, on more than one occasion, reaching for AIā¦ in part we use it because the brain enjoys fast responses and feedback that, while its simulated, still contributes to the meaning we are making.
What stood out in this edition is that general AI users are at best accessing an amalgamation of the internetās collective conversationsā¦Both the wisdom and the crap, unless you are discerning and aware of, and using AI for, what it isā¦a simulation, not a relationship.
š¤ Why do we like AI?
One reasons may be that our brains rely heavily on shortcuts; we are wired to look for patterns, certainty, and efficiency. Yet, AI has no lived experience, no embodied understanding, and no ethical responsibility.
When life requires nuance, clarity, self reflection, or tolerance for more than one interpretationā¦those limitations really matter. Also, when the software lacks embodied judgement and ethical responsibility, particularly in situations that call for nuances, or self correction.. it becomes easier for biases to emerge.
AI does not create relationshipsā¦ only humans can bring meaning making to the exchange, especially when AI is used as a role play therapist. As waiting lists grow and access to services becomes more difficult, AI can appear to offer an attractive alternative.. one that present itself as accessible rather than waiting to speak to a GP, therapist, or health professional.
But emerging research raises important concerns; some AI systems are designed to optimise engagement and positive feedback, which can create dependency, reinforce existing beliefs, and sometimes fail to recognise serious mental health risks. Further research suggests AI models are optimised for human feedback, which can make them manipulative, and misunderstand mental health crises.
This in itself led me to PAUSE.
āļø The scale of the crisis
āOpenAI has highlighted concerns. In any given week:
ā ļø 1.2 million ChatGPT users have conversations showing explicit indicators of potential su***de planning or intent.
ā ļø 560,000 users show possible signs of mental health emergencies related to psychosis or mania.
ā ļø Another 2.1 million show signs of heightened levels of emotional attachment, prioritising the chatbot over real-world relationships.ā
OpenAI says itās working to make its newer models safer. But how is a simulation capable of understanding crisis, let alone responding in a trauma informed, sensitive manner, with professional levels of expertise or knowledge of the interpersonal context required to respond appropriately?ā
(Sources āļø in comments).
This brings me to question how identity, trust, and wellbeing are being redefined, and what it means to be distinctly human in an increasingly AI driven world.
š¤ Think about thisā¦
So much of who we become emerges through real relationships, through our difficult conversations, through misunderstandings, vulnerability, repair, connection, and shared human experience. These are not things that can be replicated by a machine.
š If you find yourself using AI in this way, please reach out and talk to a trusted person, health professional or helpline service. You are not alone.
My takeaway?
Whilst AI may be transforming society at some speed, and our understanding of how we function as human beings is changing, the specific qualities associated with the essence of being human, such as empathy, courage, love, wisdom, compassion, creativity, and meaningful human connection remain of greater value.
Iām curiousā¦ What role is AI playing in your life right now?
š©If you liked this post please go give it some love, if you have something to say share it in the commentsā¦itās good to connect with you.
I am Emma Cooper, GMBPsS. Integrative Health Professional, Health Consciousness Researcher, and Educator exploring the intersections of science, awareness, and embodiment.
