13/10/2026
Yesterday was another mini victory as Alfie finished his last cycle of chemotherapy and has now completed all his treatments, surgery, radio therapy and chemotherapy and we now await the confirmation that he is now in remission from cancer. Alfie is a very happy boy to be through all the treatment and is currently still in bed whilst I sit here in floods of tears on reflecting what the last year has done to me (sorry another long post and hankies at the ready)
To cancer,
I hate you with every bone in my body, I hate how you tried to steal our boy from us, the most precious thing we have, I hate how you came into our life, so unexpectedly and terrified us and caused unimaginable heartache that I never want to experience again, on being told, what no parent wants to ever hear that their child has cancer. I hate you for turning our world upside down and making it stop for us, whilst everyone else around us life's kept going and for putting us in a bubble that left us feeling lonely and terrified for what was outside that bubble. I hate that you made me feel I was on a hamster wheel that just keeps going round and round and I can't stop it or get off it and I just needed to keep going. I hate you for nearly destroying my marriage and for nearly financially crippling us because neither you or the government care that being at your child's bedside is the only place you want to be when you could be losing them but you still have bills to pay, as they don't stop for cancer. I hate you for taking away Alfie's school days, which he now mourns (his words) as he did like school and was doing very well, as he is a clever cookie and you also stole his year being with his friends and doing things that most teenagers do at the age of 15. I hate you for bringing cancer ghosting into our life, yes it does exist and we have experienced it where people you expect to be there for you and they know exactly how to help you as they have walked in your shoes, go in the opposite direction and selfishly think of themselves without a thought for what you are going through with no offers of help or a listening ear without judgement and continue to have their free time when we don't have a minute to think about anything but medical appointments, treatments and packing and unpacking your life at a minute's notice and not for holidays!
Finally the biggest hate I have for you is the poisonous treatments that Alfie has had to go through, how his body has had to cope with treatment meant for an adult, how he has been poked, prodded had major brain operations that no 15 year should have to experience ever in their life and still we don't know what these harsh treatments to banish you might have done to his body going forward. You are a monster and it's a sin that you don't care who you affect and you don't care how our hearts have been broken over and over again and you don't care what the future holds for our boy but one thing I can tell you, cancer, is that Alfie has kicked your butt he has been amazingly strong, resilient and positive and shown you who is the boss of his body and his life and you won't find any prouder parents in the world!
I must now reflect through my watery eyes the positives, the things I have loved about this last year and I start with the wonderful community in Kinghorn who have come together and been there for us, starting with our lovely neighbour for setting up the go fund me that saved us from financial ruin, especially during the 6 weeks in Manchester, where apart from accomodation and travel to and from Manchester we had to cover all the other costs, food, entertaining a 15 year old, travel to the hospital when the shuttle bus wasn't convenient, trams, parking at the hotel and lots of other costs just to get us through surviving and trying to celebrate Christmas whilst 265 miles from home. We have had to cover all the travel costs to the hospital bar a few times when we stayed over, all the food costs whilst at the hospital and everything in between, as the government made us wait a minimum of 13 weeks from diagnosis to decide on Alfie's benefit claim, shame on you, the government.
Strangers have become friends and friends have become our family, especially mine and I will always be very grateful to everyone that has supported us in many different ways with the small gestures meaning just as much as the bigger financial ones. We have received many freebies on going to the till to pay for lunch and dinners, discounts & fundraisers, Innes Johnston, DPGC ladies golf members, Ross's work Proscot for the fantastic large sack of gifts, he opened in Manchester which was filled with all the things a 15 year old boy could ask for and helped make his Christmas so much nicer, our new Manchester families that made Christmas bearable and special, in it's own way, they all had their own woes and cancer ghosting but they listened to us pour our hearts out without interruption and not making it all about them and I left Manchester much stronger and in a better place than when I went down there. You and the Edinburgh families, who have now become family and very special to us and we will never forget you! Another special thing happened on returning from Manchester that Alfie had a new bedroom, decorated and floored for free and he loves spending time in his new pad. Thank you to the multiple children's cancer charities that have spoilt Alfie with gifts, money and beautiful retreats where we could switch off as best we could and enjoy time together just the 3 of us. DPGC golf club, the ladies in Kinghorn who organised a coffee morning locally which raised a huge amount of money and has given Alfie the funds to give back to the TCT and the ward that he has spent so much time on, gifts that will help entertain and comfort the many children who have to be hooked up to chemotherapy and fluids for hours at a time and a lot are also bedridden through fatigue from again the harsh treatment they are receiving to battle, stabilise different forms of cancer & leukemia. We have also loved our recent holiday at Centre Parcs which again you made happen through gifts, donations and cards marking Alfie's 16th birthday, which was one to remember, as it didn't quite plan out to what we had promised, Alfie by having his 16th birthday in Denmark at the home of Lego, which is now on hold till his 17th but Centre Parcs and his birthday celebrations with his friends and our new family certainly made up for it. Thank you and whilst also on about his friends I must make special mention to them and how they have dealt with Alfie's diagnosis and how mature and brilliant they have been with Alfie, their support has meant the world to us and has very much helped get Alfie through this and back to school. I can't name all his friends as there are quite a few boys and girls but I would like to say to their parents that you should be so immensely proud of them and yourselves for raising such amazing young boys & girls. They have got him through some terrifying and dark times and we will be forever grateful to them all.
I think I should finish now, as my hankies have ran out and I feel a sense of calm just getting all this out, as it has been bottled up for so long. We will be back on the page by the end of the month when Alfie is going to be ringing the bell for finishing his last treatment, which will be celebrated by the 3 of us and the people Alfie now wants to devote his time too, it will also be videoed, so you can celebrate with us too and hopefully it will be a massive thank you to everyone who has been there for us, to see Alfie looking happy, on track to recovery and celebrating kicking Cancers butt and we will celebrate again when he is officially in remission.
Love to you all, Team Alfie xx 💙
