Me, Myself and Cancer

12/06/2026

Great day out, and much needed after yesterday's scan. Anyone living with cancer will tell you the anguish that they can go through around scan time... there's even a name for it: Scanxiety!

It's a very intense, very real and completely valid response that typically occurs before, during or after a diagnostic or cancer control scan, with symptoms ranging from fear and anxiety to nausea and insomnia (and everything inbetween).

For those of you who dont know, I have terminal cancer. It had already spread to my lymphatic system when it was detected meaning surgery, or indeed a cure, wasn't possible.

Now, it has spread to the lining of my abdominal wall. A nasty place to have cancer - not that cancer anywhere in the body is exactly a good thing - because of the rich blood supply that tumour cells can feed on until their heart's content.

Right now, I only have two tumours, perfert for surgery, only surgery wasn't offered to me of course because I'm stage 4. If these cells do start growing, they can literally seed along the entire wall resulting in thousands of implants. You can forget about surgery if that happens.

I see my oncogist in three weeks time for my result, always an agonising wait... who knew that doing nothing could be so exhausting... and I'm going to speak to him about surgery. I know it won't save my life, but it could significantly extend it.

Right now, my cancer is stable and under control, but I've got both eyes firmly set on the future. I have an eight year old daughter and I'm not prepared to leave her. It's definitely increased my scanxiety though and so distracting myself by doing something enjoyable is only going to be a good thing... anything to stop me fixating on the results.

Until then, all I can do is play the waiting game because, what do they say, waiting is the hardest part 😬

It's amazing by the way how all of the physical and emotional symptoms magically disappear once you get the results ha

Jim xx

03/06/2026

So, I had my dental check-up today 😬 I dread them these days because all the chemo I've had has left my teeth really brittle and prone to chipping, decay and damage. One of the many things that cancer people don't often talk about.

Unsurprisingly then, and as with every other check-up I've had since I first started my cancer treatment, there is some follow-up work to be done. Three fillings this time, although one of those teeth might yet need a root canal and crown.

Now, I've had a root canal before and I said never again. I'd rather get the tooth pulled and save myself the £332 (and 10p!). Besides, should a man who's not expected to live beyond 12 months worry about such things as preserving teeth 🤔

On the other hand, I'm just about to book tickets for Grease The Musical which isn't on until August 2027 so I need to live longer than 12 months. Challenge accepted.

There are several reasons why chemo weakens your teeth over time so I find it's important for me to see a dentist regularly. Fortunately, I managed to find an NHS dentist who agreed to take me on (out of the 20 that I called).

I don't necessarily like using my illness to ask for special leniencies, but then what's the point in having a cancer card if you're not going to play it from time to time - In truth, it's one of the ways I cope with my situation.

I still pay for my treatment, but it's a lot cheaper than the private option. I can also get dry mouth pastilles and enzymatic toothpaste on prescription, which go some way towards helping protect my teeth.

My teeth are more sensitive to hot and cold now, which they never used to be, and eating and drinking can cause me to grimace. Ice cream can be torture 🥺

Chemo kills all fast-growing cells in your body and, while teeth are not fast-growing, gums and nerves are. That's why severe pain and toothache can be common side-effects - the good news is that symptoms such as pain and inflammation usually disappear again, if you live long enough. Challenge accepted 😁

What did the dentist say to the golfer? “You have a hole in one.” 🤣

Jim xx

27/05/2026

It's been a little while since I posted on here, but with me, that's usually a good thing. People often say that living with cancer is a journey, but isn't all life a journey, full of ups and downs. I guess life with cancer can just feel more... fragile (terrifying would also work here).

I've just come out of a really tough period. I've always responded well to treatment, but when my cancer spread again to my abdominal wall, I wasn't able to complete the rounds of chemo I was told were needed to get things back under control.

When you have stage 4 cancer, control can become really important. For a start, any treatment isn't curative, it's there to try and control the disease while hopefully extending your life. Inevitably then, there's a certain amount of fear that comes with living with cancer.

It's important never give in to that fear though. When we're afraid, we can stop living and I don't know about you, but all I want to do is live. If you're not careful, those dark and intrusive thoughts can easily control you. How many of you have spiralled into panic. It doesn't have to be that way though. A good life with stage 4 cancer is possible.

Last week we went to Majorca for a family holiday. It wasn't something that has even been on my bucket list, it was just something that we all needed because this year had been hard for all of us - everyone affected by cancer can have their own personal struggles - and I had the most magical time because I was with the people who matter to me most. The people who make every day better just by being in my life.

I've also done a lot of writing lately and you can often find me in a local Costa drinking coffee and typing. I'm hoping to release a book soon about my cancer story and my children's book should be ready before that which is so exciting. I'm also on writing my second book which will describe my life with mental health. These take up a lot of time, but they're important to me, and my legacy.

Living life is what keeps me going. Family is what drives me to live. Make no mistake, finding out that you have cancer can be life-changing. The constant stream of emotions, the fear of leaving too soon... its also an opportunity to find out what's important to you and live life your way.

Maintaining a good quality of life is possible. Yes, there are times when things go wrong but I try to stay positive. When that doesn't work, I find that accepting the situation is healthier. Resisting only makes things worse whereas acknowledging your true feelings reduces emotional distress and helps you move forward. Your emotions don't have to define you. It's okay to feel down. Just be honest.

I'll try not to leave it so long next time 😊 I'm much better at posting when things aren't going well ha-ha

Jim xx

07/05/2026

‼️ PLEASE READ ‼️

I’ve received this message today. I have lots of followers so hopefully I can get some signatures on this petition.

Natasha lost her daughter Amy to cancer, and she has started this petition - called Because of Amy Law - calling for better GP training to recognise cancer “red flag” symptoms earlier.

It’s all about improving awareness and helping people get the right diagnosis sooner. No blame - just trying to make something positive come from something heartbreaking.

This is something I can relate to because I presented with symptoms of oesophageal cancer for two or three years prior to my diagnosis which my GP failed to spot. By the time they did an endoscopy, the cancer had already spread.

Natasha has been sharing it across social media, but we really need a helping hand to get it seen by more people.

If you’d be open to sharing it, even just a quick mention, it would honestly mean the world to us.

Here’s the link:
"https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/765360" (https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/765360)

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it.

Jim

We ask the Government to mandate cancer training for all GPs in England, requiring all GPs to complete mandatory, standardised training on cancer red-flag symptoms, with formal assessment, regular revalidation, NHS England regulation, and GMC linkage to improve early diagnosis.

25/04/2026

So, the assisted dying bill failed. It makes me so angry. As someone living with terminal cancer I do think about what my death will be like. I don't dwell on it, but it's impossible not to at least throw a cursory glance in that direction from time to time. And it isn't a pretty sight.

WARNING: Contains descriptions of death and dying that some might find upsetting.

Dying from cancer can (not always) be a profound, often difficult, physical and emotional process. I've seen it too many times now. The body gradually shuts down. You stop eating. You can be in significant pain. Become confused. Agitated. You can lose control of your bowels and bladder. You will feel lots of different emotions. It all sounds very upsetting and I didn't want that for me or my family, especially my young daughter. Hospice care, in the UK at least, are not all identical. Many provide high-quality end of life care, but many are inadequate depending on funding, location, and staffing.

I know there are a lot of considerations to be made. Perhaps too many. Adequate safeguards need to be built in, and it will never be perfect, but I feel really let down by our demographic system after the initial hope of it becoming law.

For decades, Switzerland had allowed a doctor to help severely ill patients end their lives with medication, or the ‘right to die’ in a controlled way. Patients must show they are mentally competent and have not been pushed toward the decision by anyone with an ulterior motive. The procedure includes a lengthy evaluation of medical information and at least two face-to-face meetings with a doctor. At least one British citizen per week travels to Switzerland for an assisted death.

Hopefully another attempt is made to introduce the proposals in the next session of Parliament, which will begin on 13 May. Right now I feel a mixture of feeling extremely disappointed and upset and also quite angry.

Jim xx

14/04/2026

What a day. There's so much beauty in the world 😍 I'm so grateful to still be having experiences like this. When I was told I might have as little as 3 months to live (over 70% of patients die within 3 months of my cancer diagnosis) I felt... how can you feel when you hear that. Now, three years later I'm still making wonderful new memories. Never give up xx

13/04/2026

Finally. Tomorrow we ride the far north railway line from Inverness to Thurso, the most northerly train stations in Britain. It's meant to be one of the most beautiful stretches of scenery in the country and its been on my bucket list for a while now.

When you're living with terminal cancer, a bucket list can be a great way to ensure you don't stop living life and to fill your life with new experiences. It doesn't have to be exotic, or even exciting, just be honest with yourself about what's important to you.

Personally, this has come at a good time for me after months of things going wrong. I don't feel like I've really got going this year and my quality of life has suffered. Hopefully this is the start of something altogether more stable and positive 😀

11/04/2026

As someone living with terminal cancer, I've learned to live with a torrent of overwhelming emotions. Some Good. Some bad. Often at the same time.

These past few months I've been through so many difficult and challenging experiences that it feels a good time to check in with my emotions and see how I'm coping mentally. It's one way I manage my resilience, which has definately taken a beaten lately.

You can read all about this on my latest blog post here and join thousands of readers around the world. I'm grateful for all your support as always. Jim xx

This post reflects on the challenges of living with cancer and addresses the emotional and physical struggles. The importance of acknowledging feelings and adapting to life’s changes is also …

03/04/2026

I'm a free man 😀 I actually got out of hospital yesterday and it was so nice to sleep in my own bed! Each hospital stay, and they are wracking up these days, seems to get harder.

One of the reasons for this is that, and more so since I've been living with a terminal illness, I don't like to be away from my family too much. I can accept being in hospital when I'm being treated but there seems to be a lot of wasted days.

This time I was in for six days and something only really happened on day five when I had my colonoscopy and they started me back on high-dose steroids. I had a few bags of fluid on the other days. Nothing more. Naturally, I asked to leave ha

The colonoscopy showed some quite nasty inflamation. No wonder I've been feeling so bad. The biopsy confirmed ulcerative colitis, another life-long condition I'll have to manage. Of course, we don't know how long my life will be. But then, no one ever knows so not worth thinking about. Today, I'm alive. That's all that's important. They're starting me on some tablets. More medication. Yippee.

I also saw my oncologist yesterday for the results of my latest CT Scan. This was going to tell us if the new cancer spread was stable or not. It felt like there was so much resting on it, especially since I haven't been able to have any treatment and this weeks also had to be cancelled. The third cycle in a row.

The good news is that the cancer is behaving itself. Good boy. What a relief. The better news is my oncologist has decided that I dont need the chemo right now. That's music to my ears. It's gonna give my body chance to recover and hopefully I can enjoy life a bit more, and Scotland. Plus, might be able to book Naples, Italy now.

Bad times are a big part of living with cancer, but you have to believe that another good spell is around the corner. Never lose hope. Today, we decided to come into Durham for fish and chips, it is good Friday afterall, and a trip to the cathedral, one of the best in my opinion. I even treated myself to a new walking stick and a vinyl record. Yes, I still listen to records. Life is what you make of it, and while I don't feel great, today has been a real boost 😊

Happy Easter. Jim xx

01/04/2026

Since I have time on my hands, I got around to writing a new blog post which you can read here. I'll provide an update tomorrow on where things stand after I've spoken to my oncologist

If you haven't already read my blog, check it out now and join 10s of thousands of people around the world who have tuned in so far.

👇

Here I discuss the struggles of living with cancer and feeling trapped, as well as the desire to participate in life actively because, despite challenges, I seek joy and purpose.