25/09/2026
⭐️ Honesty / Trigger Warning - Food Related ⭐️
A very long post but please read it, even if it takes you a week.
I hope this can help someone like me - OR a coach who is coaching someone like me.
I have been “aware” of my diet and food choices since 2024.
I have consistently tracked my food since.
It’s something I enjoyed doing, and was never an issue.
But, food choices did become an issue for me.
I developed a fear of what was labelled “unhealthy food” - fried food, fast food etc.
because my problem is, when I listen to someone I trust - I fully emerge myself in that zone so to speak.
I cut out the food that was labelled “bad”. But i didn’t see an issue with it.
Fast forward to March 2026.
I signed up for my first 15 week bodybuilding prep but it was also my 2 year wedding anniversary.
We went out for the “last meal”. I ordered a fish platter.
It came out and it was fried - I had a meltdown.
The food I had ordered was not what I expected and even worse it was FRIED. Honestly, my brain froze - how can I eat this? I can’t, this is awful, I will ruin years of progress if I eat this, I will be so unhealthy, my goals will be further away than ever.
I ate it - I mentally beat myself up for days and days later. The guilt. It was dreadful.
But I still didn’t see an issue, I just put it down to being disciplined.
Prep came and went with beautiful guidance of my coach Georgia.
She brought me back to life. Understood my body and basically held my hand for 8 weeks leading up to the show.
She guided me through my reverse diet with a structured meal plan - perfect I don’t need to think and all the food is “clean”.
No fear here.
Thriving in life. Great food great training.
Then came the “building phase”.
More food, more choices but with a little less control needed.
This is where I found the “fear foods” peeking through again.
I can’t have this, I can’t have that, I can only live off white food. And this was me telling myself that, nobody else.
On top of this, I still had issues with letting go of weighing my food.
I spoke to Georgia about this, who taught me how to slowly but surely break the cycle. Small changes that would make a huge difference.
Ok - mastering that. Lovely. I’m fixed.
Wrong - then came the realisation that i cannot eat out of my previous “timed meals”.
Every day - meal 1 to meal 5 was eaten on time. Regardless.
Again, I spoke to Georgia about this, and she put my mind at ease, literally a few sentences that made sense which helped me accept that I don’t need to be so bloody regimented about this.
I’m not in prep, I’m living a NORMAL life now.
I don’t need to have my meals at certain times and I am allowed to eat like a god damn normal person.
I was told if I want cake - eat cake.
If I want a burger - eat a burger.
The last sentence made me dizzy.
Ok i love cake - I’d live off it. But burgers? The word makes me feel sick.
Burgers? Who eats burgers?
I can’t, I’ll die, I’ll get massive, all my work will be undone. I was told this type of food is dreadful!!!! I can’t.
After some great communication (again) with G, I made a promise to myself.
I’m going to eat when I WANT TO, and I’m going to eat something that I haven’t for a long time.
I’m going to take control by giving up control.
Today - I woke up and was ready to prepare my day around meal timings and my plans.
No, not today Nadine. Today is the start of your promise.
I did it, I ate when I wanted to.
And guess what - I ate a burger.
I got to the till wishing they had the option of a salad - but they didn’t. And this time I didn’t back out and order a Coke Zero instead.
I ordered a burger, I sat and ate the burger and I was so god damn proud of myself.
Did I enjoy it? No it was rank, but I enjoyed every second of sitting there, with my family, eating the same as my family and feeling more “in the moment” than I have for YEARS.
People say “body building brings on eating disorders”.
What I have found in my personal experience is that body building does NOT BRING ON eating disorders. It heightens the traits you already have within you. And that goes for your strengths and weaknesses.
BB heightened my restrictive eating that I have had for many years, but also made me realise how much of a control freak I am around food etc.
But without BB, I wouldn’t have my coach, and I wouldn’t have reached out to her for help. And without that support i would still be fearing foods, I’d live a life of “I can’t eat that”. I’d live a life of restricted eating habits without realising how UNHEALTHY that is.
For anyone in my position, you can break the cycle. If I can anyone can.
Coaches - please don’t put the fear of god into your clients around ANY food. Do not tell them what is good, what is bad. Let them make the choices and live a more free lifestyle.
Educate but don’t brainwash.
Today I regained control by giving up control.
It’s only day 1 - but what a start!!!
And I would not have done this without the priceless support and literal counselling from Georgia.
