20/08/2026
This really resonated with me, because I know this feeling.
Many of us can go through periods, sometimes long periods, of losing our confidence around our horses. Of feeling nervous, anxious or unsure when we ride.
And that includes me.
As many of you know, I had a very serious accident a few years ago, and it took me a long time to get my confidence back. I would often feel a panic attack rising from my stomach. I’d feel it building and building until I had to get off. And I couldn’t seem to stop it.
It really started to affect me.
At one point I still wasn’t riding Ruby. In fact, I sent her away because I couldn’t even handle her, let alone ride her.
Meanwhile, Riley was approaching five, and I was about to send him off to be gently backed. I remember thinking, I’m never going to be able to ride this horse unless I sort myself out.
The real change began when I left my corporate job and spent five years looking after a group of ex-racehorses. I had to exercise them. I had to get on with it. And slowly, slowly, my confidence began to return.
Around that time I also started coming across breathwork. It was when Wim Hof and his breathing and ice swimming were becoming widely talked about, and I thought, I’m going to try this while I’m riding and see what happens.
And it made a difference.
Instead of holding my breath when I could feel a horse’s energy rising, when they became excited or reactive, I started to consciously breathe.
And I noticed something incredible.
When I changed my breathing, I noticed the horse responding too.
The energy would begin to come down. I became more present. My body softened. And the horse responded to that change.
This is something I now talk about with many of the clients I work with. People who have had a few falls or tumbles, who have developed anxiety around riding, or who find themselves holding their breath without even realising it.
What they often don’t realise is that their horse may actually be reacting to their internal state, rather than what is happening externally. It’s almost as though the horse is getting ready to brace, because they can feel our energy and are preparing themselves to respond.
Sometimes when I talk about breathwork, it can initially be met with a little incredulity.
But it really can make a difference.
And I think The Whole Horse Journey explains this beautifully in the post above, far better than I could explain it myself.
Because our horses aren’t necessarily waiting for us to do something before they respond to our anxiety.
They are already reading our bodies.
Our breathing. Our muscle readiness. Our posture. Our timing. Our presence.
And perhaps that’s why confidence isn’t always something we can simply think ourselves back into.
Sometimes we have to help the body feel safe again.
And the breath can be a really powerful place to begin.
Thank you to The Whole Horse Journey for sharing this. It really resonated with my own experience and with so much of what I see in my work with horses and their humans.
So, if you’re struggling with confidence, give it a try. Just breathe. Notice your body. Notice your horse. You might be pleasantly surprised. It really works, both on the ground with your horse and when you’re riding. ❤️
By the time most riders touch their horse, the horse has already begun organising around the state the human body is bringing into the space.
You can often recognise it in the approach if you know what you’re looking for. In the tempo of the walk. In how quickly the hands move. In whether the breath is moving or held. In the overall quality of the person’s presence, whether their attention has arrived with their body or is already somewhere ahead trying to manage an outcome.
Most nervous riders believe the anxiety becomes relevant when something goes wrong. When the horse fidgets at the mounting block. When the transition runs. When the ride doesn’t go to plan. But the physiological conversation starts much earlier than that, and it is not happening at the level of intention or mindset. It is happening in muscle readiness, in timing, in posture, in the quality of the exhale, in how much of the body is available for feel and how much of it is preparing for impact.
This is why trying to “ride more confidently” rarely changes anything on its own. You cannot paste confidence on top of a system that is in survival. A braced body gives earlier, holds longer, grips before it needs to, and releases too late. It moves faster than it feels. It tries to control because it does not feel safe enough to wait.
To the horse, that does not feel like a rider who needs reassurance. It feels like unpredictability.
The shift is not from fear to fearlessness. The shift is from activation to regulation.
Horses do not need us to be emotionless. They do not require a blank slate. What unsettles them is a body that is saying two different things at the same time. The rider who is trying to be calm while the breath is locked, the jaw is tight, the thighs are gripping, and the nervous system is preparing for something to go wrong. There is a profound difference between a rider who is breathing and present while feeling afraid, and a rider who is trying to suppress fear while their entire system is in defence.
When a rider regulates before they engage, the changes are often first felt in the human rather than seen in the horse. The world slows down. The horse becomes easier to read. Timing appears without being manufactured. The hand stops holding when nothing is happening. The leg stops supporting when there is already balance. A different quality of conversation becomes possible.
Not because regulation replaces training, soundness, history, or skill, but because it determines the quality of the interaction those things are going to happen inside.
This is why the work starts before you touch the horse.
A five-minute pre-ride regulation
To help shift your state.
Minute 1 – Arrive
Stand still.
Feet hip-width apart.
Knees soft.
Name:
3 things you can see
2 things you can hear
1 sensation in your body
Let your eyes move. Let your head turn.
Bring your system into the present instead of anticipation.
Minute 2 – Breathe down
Hand on your ribs.
Inhale through your nose for 4.
Exhale through your mouth for 6 to 8.
Do not force the inhale.
Let the exhale lengthen.
A longer, slower exhale tends to shift the system toward a parasympathetic state, which for many riders is accompanied by a drop in heart rate, less global bracing, and a greater sense of physical availability.
Minute 3 – Release the brace
Clench for 5 seconds:
jaw
shoulders
hands
inner thighs
Release for 10 seconds.
Twice.
Teach the body the difference between holding and neutral.
Minute 4 – Find your vertical balance
Gently rock:
forward → back → side → side → centre
Let the weight drop into your heels.
Let the back of your neck lengthen.
Let the sternum soften.
Organise your body before the horse has to respond to it.
Minute 5 – Set a relational focus
This is not a performance goal.
Choose one:
I will breathe before every transition
I will move slowly enough for both of us to stay soft
I will notice when I brace and come back
Something you can return to when you leave your body.
When this changes, many riders begin to notice small but consistent shifts in the interaction. Often the horse stands a fraction longer. The eye softens sooner. The back becomes easier to influence. Transitions stop feeling like something that must be managed and start feeling like something that can be shaped.
Regulation does not train the horse in that moment, it makes it more possible for the horse to remain in a state where learning, balance, and connection can happen, if the rest of the picture is also in place.
A regulated rider on a horse that is in pain, dysregulated by environment, or lacking foundation will still meet those realities. But they will meet them with better timing, clearer feel, and less escalation. They will add less survival to a system that may already be carrying too much of it.
And that, in itself, changes the trajectory of the work.
Regulation does not replace the work.
It is what makes the work possible without adding more survival to the system.
