07/11/2022
Today's Monday Moment...
From Separation to Reconnection – The journey back to the magnificence of You and your expression within the Universe
One aspect of being a sensitive soul, living at this time, that seems to be very common is a sense of being lonely or alone. From quite an early age, for many of us, we quickly came to realise that our perception/experience of the world around us didn’t match that of our peers or family members. Does this sound familiar to you?
The expression, ‘black sheep’ of the family springs to mind.
The reality of my ‘differences’ didn’t really begin to become obvious until my teenage years. Until then, my family were pretty accepting of me being the ‘ultra-sensitive (I cried all the time), shy, quiet child with the over-active imagination’. I still remember the funny looks when I said my ‘imaginary’ friend was sat at the table with me! And the sense that dancing with faeries and unicorns in the garden was strange…
But, even at that age, those familial observations of ‘difference’ had already made me feel separate and misunderstood. As I progressed through my teens and into adulthood, what I now see as gifts, I saw as amplifiers of pain. Being able to feel what others around me felt, so acutely, to the point of being in physical pain myself was especially hard, particularly as the person who’s ‘pain’ I felt the most was my Mum’s. A pain that she ‘could not’ take responsibility for, so she shared it with me. Friends became fearful of me, because I understood them better than they understood themselves, and this resulted in people retracting away from me when in my opinion all I had done was open my heart to them.
At the time the easiest way to make sense of this ‘difference’ in me, which was allowing me to feel so much pain, was to make myself ‘wrong’. To see myself as someone that deserved no friends, no love and no understanding. I must have been a ‘bad person’. ‘Good’ things happen to ‘good’ people… right?
The silent scream of ‘not good’ enough, led me onto the slippery slope of self-oblivion which ultimately, after some pretty spectacular ‘sh*tuations’, led me back to Myself. And to make a choice. To completely self-destruct or to heal. I chose to take responsibility for Myself.
This sense of being alone, lonely, separate and purposeless grows within us and shouts louder and louder and often more painfully until we choose to take that journey back into ourselves and consciously choose to walk the path back to Self-reconnection.
Once we make the choice to open up a still space inside and bravely ‘See’ ALL of who we are, acknowledging the beauty, pain, complexity, trauma, gifts, wisdom and bounty of opportunities that we hold within, then opportunities to create a more empowered connection to the outside world begin to show up around us.
As you start to immerse yourself quietly within your own light and listen to your soul, you will 'hear' ripples of your own unique story carried through the fibres of your being. Scratch the surface and you will begin to understand that the life you are expressing through now, at this time, is only the icing on the cake.
You are an Eternal Being of Divine Light… You are made up of the very fabric of the universe, of the air you breathe, the soil you walk on, the rain that falls on your skin, the sun that shines on your back. Your body is a complex network of chemical and energetic chain reactions and within you is a biodiverse system of cells, tissue, blood vessels, sinew, bacteria, viruses, muscles, skin, hair etc that dance together so that you can experience life!
The map that takes you into this journey of self-awareness, if you choose it, leads you into the memory of just how deeply connected you are with everything around you.
When you open up your heart with compassion and allow yourself to see ALL of you, without judgement. When you do this and begin this empowered connection back to Self, this is when you truly begin to feel, deep down inside you, how you are and never were alone. You can never feel separate when you are so deeply and intrinsically connected to the ripples of the universe within and around you.
The more you connect with these feelings of being a part of the Universe, and flow within its waves rather than fighting for your place here, the more support shows up to help you gain an even deeper sense of connection. The more your ‘roots’ of light can reach out into the garden of life, the stronger you grow.
So, if you are feeling separate, lonely or purposeless take that as your soul’s invitation to venture inwards and listen to the emotions and expressions that you have suppressed. Invite your heart to speak to you and listen to the song it has to share with you, without judgement. Because when you do this, you take the path to the deepest sense of connection, that ultimately takes you back to the beauty and potential of your Divine Being and the beauty of your divine place within the cosmic grid of light. Xx
