Hear This

21/03/2021

Relaunch coming soon👀
❤🧡💛💚

10/06/2020

In my previous post I spoke about talking to your child about race and offered tips which may help.

I explained that instead of just using the word equal we need to examine "differences" I'm hoping the post clarifies what is meant by difference.

Difference comes in many guises from the most obvious such as gender for example to those which may be hidden such as disability.

I've worked with many children and young people who deeply struggle with their identity and the things which make them "different" it's hard when they are unable to have dialogue with their parents/carers about these issues. It's even worse when their differences are used against them within education, often making them a target for bullying.

Teaching and talking to your children about recognizing differences is a way to help your child feel empowered.

Differences are vast and varied. Including gender, race, sexuality, disabilities, health, morals and beliefs, culture and experience(there are indeed many more!!!)

As a child I felt "different" although it took me a while to be able to pin point why that was. Being mixed raced meant that by nature I am black and by nurture I am white.

I was constantly told I was the same as everyone else but with all my peers being white ........... I was actually (very noticeabley) different. Being human was the one uniting factor!!

I say this because children need to know that it is more than OK to be different and that we are all different in our own ways.

When children learn about these differences they are better prepared to be able to understand and more importantly respect them.

I've included an animation as a resource which may be worth viewing. Yes this video centres on my mixed heritage but the message is clear that for any child struggling with their own "difference" be it race, sexuality, beliefs etc ............. they should be proud of who they are. Xx

Proud! follows a young girl as she struggles to find her own identity, as she feels caught between two races. She explores and uncovers self-acceptance and l...

10/06/2020

With issues around race currently headlining the news through the Black Lives Matter Movement, I am aware of how difficult it can be to have a meaningful conversation regarding race and identity with young people, so am sharing some tips which I hope you find informative.

As a parent your child or young person will be looking to you as their "role model" their "educator" they will be incredibly influenced by any statements you may make. When dealing appropriately with issues relating to race and identity it is important that you speak with knowledge and truth.

Understandably it is often to difficult to discuss, but hopefully the tips below will help you to navigate the conversation in a positive and constructive way.

⭐ Make the time to have a "full and frank" discussion. Catching 5 minutes here and there is great, but an in depth conversation will be more rewarding.

⭐ Think about the age of your child and choose age appropriate materials and references. A young child may be content with basic pictures showing how we are all different, an older child may be looking to you for knowledge and input regarding history for example.

⭐ DO YOUR RESEARCH!!! I can't state this enough. Make sure you are knowledgeable with regards to people of different cultures. I say this because as adults we very often relay information to our children and are not prepared for the "what, where and why" questions that follow.

⭐ Allow your child to tell you what they think about a particular culture race etc by using open questions such as "what do YOU think about ........." listen to their answers and feedback on their answer. If they hold a particular view which you don't agree on, take the time to explore this with them further.

⭐ During the current climate some children will be anxious about what they are seeing/hearing via media. Again it is important to put across a balanced view I.e "some people think this, some people think that......." and ask your child what is it they are thinking.

⭐When dealing with race and identity my counselling studies have taught me the importance of recognising difference. Relaying this to children and contradicting the "we are all the same" stance is important. Children know that they have peers which are different to them so telling a child "we are all the same (but different!)" Can be confusing. Instead I feel it is more useful to recognise those differences and in doing so RESPECTING what difference is.

⭐Many children will no doubt be confused, frustrated annoyed about things which are going on now. This is fine. Children NEED an emotional outlet. As a parent your role is to buffer them. Your child needs to understand the bigger picture and they will be looking at you for guidance.

⭐Whether you are currently homeschooling or even as a challenge, why not look into fact finding about different cultures and races. I challenged my son to find and name 5 black inventors and to draw pictures of their inventions. It increased his knowledge (and mine😅) and was an enjoyable task.

⭐ If you feel that your school could or should be doing more regarding embracing race and diversity- TALK to them and let them know how you feel. If you don't say anything, nothing will change!!! Equally if you feel that your school isn't doing enough ........... YOU are your child's best educator and role model so take it on board yourself😊

⭐ Most importantly let's discourage our children from being anything less than kind. Let's teach our children that love, kindness and respect are some of the best qualities they should have.xx

Any questions please feel free to contact me. X

25/05/2020

Some useful numbers which may be useful in a crisis💕

24/05/2020

WHAT IS ANXIETY IN CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE?

Anxiety is just as real for children as it is for adults. It is triggered by the "fear" stressor and can manifest in a variety of different ways.

Anxiety is based on both rational and irrational beliefs.

A child who is anxious around dogs due to a previous negative experience has a rational anxiety (fear) based upon this experience.

A child who fears the monster that lives under the bed, could be perceived as having an irrational anxiety. This "irrational" anxiety however, is founded upon a rational fear, such as being taken away from their parents for example - it just manifests as the "monster under the bed"

Feeling anxious is a natural response to emotional and environmental factors (and as with all feelings)should not be seen as negative. Some people thrive when their anxious energy is high and become more productive. In contrast, too much anxious energy can become debilitating.

Children can present with various "symptoms" relating to anxiety, these may include:-

* Being quiet and withdrawn, but can equally be animated and loud.

* Needing constant reassurance from parents, peers and teachers.

* Being a "worrier"

* Bed wetting and nightmares or night terrors

* Self soothing behaviour such as hair twisting and thumb sucking.

* Being "clingy" and demanding.

* Physical changes such as palpitations, getting hot, feeling faint, reddening of the face, sweaty hands ( possibly leading to panic attacks)

* Complaints of headaches, stomach aches, tiredness and sickness - these are actually REAL symptoms and we will cover this in a future post.

(This list is not exhaustive as I am trying to keep it brief)

Anxiety can be triggered by a variety of different situations. It can be a short- term issue or a longer term acute disorder (Generalised Anxiety Disorder)

As with most mental health issues, it is best to get help as early as possible, CBT and talking therapies, along with mindfulness exercises are often the best route to resolving.

In my next post we will look into causes of anxiety and ways in which to effectively aid young people and children who may be suffering from it.

22/05/2020

Apologies for not getting my Mental Health Awareness Posts up, but have been working (very) hard behind the scenes.

I've received a considerable amount of questions relating to anxiety in young people.

I will do a detailed post over the weekend relating to symptoms of anxiety and solutions to lessen the effect.

If anyone wants to discuss anxiety privately, please comment below or continue to message via email or inbox and I'll get straight back to you.

18/05/2020

This week is Mental Health Awareness Week. The theme is 'Kindness'. To support this initiative I will be posting daily information and support for you all.

I've been asked a few questions over the last few weeks regarding anxiety, stress and parental worries regarding their children returning to school.

If you need to discuss anything privately please continue to inbox me for guidance and assistance.

27/04/2020

Some good advice from the World Health Organisation. This "new normal" is new to all of us, none of us have all the answers and we are muddling through this together. Right now we can only do our best.

20/04/2020

Having worked in schools and Children's Services I totally agree with this!!! (Not the statistics but the impact)

Despite the fact that there are many children who can't stand school for one reason or another - there are just as many that see school as a safe haven😥 I should know!!!

These are the children that come into school often hungry or tired, the children that appear disheveled, too quiet or too loud.

The children that don't want to go to lesson because they want to talk to you, to confide in you and reach out to you.

The children who are the first in the lunch queue or first at your door at lunch.

The children who let loose at school because of the restrictions at home or alternatively shrivel up into the background for fear of being noticed.

That child that doesn't want to go home and takes sanctuary in the school sanction policies rather than discipline measures served at home.

The children that have learned to put on a front and pretend life is fine😥

Yes, some children do WANT to be at school as the stress of being home is too much to bare!!!

Witnessing domestic abuse, being abused, neglected and put down. Caring, supporting and being put on by parents with addictions. Shouldering their parents poor mental health whilst trying to balance their own!!!

Going to empty cupboards and dirty bedding, having no personal space or place to just be.

We need to protect our most vulnerable young people - we NEED to follow Government guidance and allow these children to get back to their safe place......

School🌈💕

20/04/2020

09/04/2020

Please inbox if you as a parent carer are worried about your child's mental wellbeing during this Covid 19 outbreak. I'm here to offer advice and guidance and am happy to assist via video/phone with guidance to alleviate stress and anxiety at this time💕

27/03/2020

https://youngminds.org.uk/blog/looking-after-your-mental-health-while-self-isolating/

If you are self-isolating or social distancing because of coronavirus (COVID-19), it is important to look after your mental health. Here are some tips that may help.