17/06/2026
My mum used to have an old-school pressure cooker when I was young - the one with the weight on the top that you had to lift, to release some of the pressure before it exploded?
The heat builds, as does the pressure and if nobody lifted that weight or took the heat away, who knows what would have happened. And it's always reminded me of what happens when we don't allow ourselves to process or feel our emotions.
So do you allow yourself to feel them? Or do you push them down, slap on a smile, and pretend everything is OK?
Strong ones. Uncomfortable ones.
I have witnessed countless clients really struggle with strong or uncomfortable emotions. I've struggled with them myself.
And one thing I have noticed in my work, is that I don't think many of us know how to really feel. We've been taught how to cope. To swallow them & stay strong, like everything is OK.
Like it's not OK to make a fuss or show how we really feel. We push them down, and pretend they aren't there. And then spend far too much time trying to numb them - scrolling on our phones, watching rubbish TV, maybe even turning to food or alcohol in extreme cases.
Our emotions don't just disappear because we've ignored them. They just get buried. But our bodies know and it keeps the receipt.
Which is why I absolutely love Havening Techniques™. It's a simple but powerful way to lift that weight and release some of the pressure. Purely through gentle touch.
It gives your nervous system a chance to release the pressure attached to a memory, experience or a myriad of emotions inexplicably linked in some way. We don't talk it to death, we don't relive it but we release that pressure by working directly with the body and the brain. A few minutes of simple touch by stroking your arms or palms paired with a bit of distraction, and the pressure starts to release.* The memory stays. The build-up doesn’t.
It’s not about erasing what happened. It’s about no longer carrying it under pressure.
And it’s the "not feeling of emotions" that keeps us stuck in a life that no longer serves. It's the pushing them down and hidden that causes the issue.
So it's no surprise that havening is a tool I use a lot in my coaching room and the long term impact it has on my clients is phenomenal, in a short period of time too.
It's nervous system work, neurobiological work, not willpower work - which is exactly why “just think positive” never resolved anything for anyone.
If you want to know what it actually feels like when the weight of your feelings is lifted, why not book a free chat and we can find out.
PS. I recently qualified as a Level 2 Accredited Havening Coach as part of my Master Practitioner with PASEDA360® COACH TRAINING ACADEMY, so you can be assured that you are in safe hands at every stage of your journey.
*(Note - I've simplified the description of the process for the purposes of the post. There is more to it than that which is why I have trained to deliver this technique safely)
