Gentle Changes: Trauma and Mental Health Therapy

05/06/2025

Q. How do I set boundaries when inside I just freeze or crumble and give in? What's the alternative when I fear that if I stand up for myself, I'll explode in rage, or I'll just cry and they'll decide I'm 'mad'/'bad', or confirm what they think about me anyway?

A. When people realise that they need to learn to set boundaries, they can feel overwhelmed and even hopeless, because we typically approach boundaries in a cognitive, or 'top-down' way, as if they are something that we can do if only we choose to, and use enough willpower. Some people can start to apply good boundaries in this way, but for others, the knowing they 'should' doesn't connect with empowered and congruent action. This can ramp up feelings of failure, self-criticism and shame, all of which undermine the ability to set boundaries.

Somatic approaches to therapy offer a 'bottom-up' way of harnessing and building inner resources so that you feel a sense of empowerment and then have access to a range of choices that are unavailable when you are in a stuck, fearful and disempowered space, or an enraged state, which is also disempowered and may have serious consequences if unleashed. It may be appropriate to reprocess past experiences that have contributed to the current powerlessness, so that you feel unburdened from the past and resourced differently in the present. I do this in a gentle and flexible way, with lots of support built in. The outcome that we work together to achieve is for you to be able to safely *feel* into your response to the current situation without being overcome by fear or the inner freeze or need to placate or avoid their anger, so you have choices available to you about how you can set your own boundaries in a meaningful way, so that it feels empowered and effective for you. If you want to know more about how I work, feel free to take a look at my website. You can also book a free of charge, no-obligation, initial phone consultation

https://gentlechanges.youcanbook.me/?fbclid=IwY2xjawKajKBleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHiRmfhuZewyeUJue0GTonjvaa4l_y9iiWAG9NHofI4w_rjHTrWRjxQj_Ydhl_aem_xu9zkXF-nvggpcTE69q_0Q

Choose what time works better to schedule a meeting.

04/06/2025

It really frustrates me seeing children and parents being blamed when kids can't attend school due to unsuitable environments.

This isn't about blaming teachers either. It's a systemic problem that requires a total overhaul of our compliance-based education system instead of attributing the issue to individuals.

When children (who are usually neurodivergent) can't cope anymore, the problem is centred in them or their parents. They're treated as if they need "more resilience", or parents need to be "tougher". It's so much easier for the system to do that rather than recognise that it's the environment that is inducing anxiety, trauma and burnout.

I'm looking forward to Pete Wharmby, Autistic Author's next book which is focusing on this issue. Systemic change is needed.

Image description:

The phrases "school refusal" and "emotionally based school avoidance (EBSA)" are crossed out and replaced with the words "school-induced anxiety, trauma and burnout".

Let’s stop blaming children and parents, and start recognising the problems caused by unsuitable environments.

92.1% of children experiencing school-induced anxiety are neurodivergent (Connolly et al., 2023).

02/06/2025

Resharing an old blog post explaining more about what I do.

https://www.gentlechangesworc.co.uk/2023/12/11/why-beyond-mindfulness/?fbclid=IwY2xjawKajWVleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHn7mGuI7P_Y5KWHp_1hjWz2XUdtmV5YtKgWuQV3VWTVRZWdNBnfijBGNPZKQ_aem_xMVkEEwiPuymj8FjVAOqUg

Beyond Mindfulness is an embodied, inner relational approach to becoming present and better resourced to cope with life. What makes it different?

30/05/2025

Would you benefit from a gentle, inner-relational somatic approach to healing and becoming better resourced?

I currently have some availability for in-person sessions in Worcester. Use the following link to book a no-obligation, initial phone consultation

Choose what time works better to schedule a meeting.