MyTime Therapies Hypnotherapy & Massage Dip Hyp ISCH GQHP ITEC

21/06/2026

For anyone who needs it today.

Much love.

Today is also the mighty summer solstice - let nature bring its boundless light to fill you up and warm any parts left in the cold.

Donna ###

20/06/2026

Could be helpful for some of you with teens 😊

19/06/2026

Blessed to have the best clients 🥰

18/06/2026

Absolutely love my job! Just seen a client for weight reduction - needed to give up chocolate- he’s not touched it for 5 weeks and lost 1 stone 🙌

17/06/2026

In a narcissistic family, the golden child and the scapegoat are not just siblings with different personalities.

They are roles.

One child is chosen to make the parent feel successful, innocent, needed, admired, or right.

The other is chosen to carry everything the family does not want to face.

The anger.
The shame.
The tension.
The truth.

The golden child learns that love comes through approval.

Be good.
Be loyal.
Make the parent look good.
Do not question too much.
Do not side with the one who is always causing “problems.”
Do not disturb the version of the family everyone has agreed to perform.

The scapegoat learns something else.

That honesty makes you dangerous.
That having feelings makes you difficult.
That naming the pattern makes you the problem.
That no matter how carefully you speak, the family will hear your truth as an attack because your truth threatens the whole arrangement.

And that is what makes it so painful.

Because from the outside, people think the scapegoat is angry, dramatic, rebellious, unstable, or impossible to please.

But often, the scapegoat is the one reacting to what everyone else has learned to normalise.

The golden child may get the praise.
The benefit of the doubt.
The protection.
The closeness.
The softer version of the parent.

And the scapegoat gets the suspicion.

The blame.
The eye rolls.
The private knowing that something is deeply wrong, while everyone else acts like the real issue is that they keep noticing.

That does something to a person.

It makes you question your memory.
Your tone.
Your motives.
Your worth.

You start wondering why you were so hard to love, why everything seemed easier for them, why the parent who could show warmth to one child became cold, cruel, dismissive, or impossible with you.

But the truth is brutal and freeing:
You were not assigned that role because you were worse.
You were assigned it because the family needed somewhere to put what it refused to own.

The golden child was not loved more.
They were used differently.

And the scapegoat was not hated because they were bad.
They were targeted because they threatened the lie.

But that does not make the pain disappear.

It still hurts to watch a sibling receive the softness you begged for.

It still hurts to be treated like the family problem when you were often the one most affected by the family dysfunction.

It still hurts when your sibling believes the version of you they were handed, because questioning it would mean losing the comfort that role gave them.

But at some point, healing asks you to stop trying to prove your innocence inside a system that needed you guilty.

You do not have to keep auditioning for a family that only knows how to understand you through the role they gave you.

You do not have to keep explaining your pain to people who benefited from misunderstanding it.

You do not have to carry the shame that was never yours.

Because you were never the problem.
You were the place the problem got placed.

And once you see that clearly, something in you starts to come back.

Not the version of you they named.

…The version of you that existed before the family story swallowed you.

12/06/2026

Decision makers in York are writing a new mental health action plan for children and young people. They want your honest opinions – what works, what doesn’t, and what needs to change.

This workshop is your chance to speak directly to the people who make the decisions.

When and where?

📅 Date: Wednesday 1st July 2026
⏰ Time: 4:00pm – 7:00pm
📍 Location: Priory Street Centre, York (full address on confirmation)

Who is this opportunity available to?

Any young person 11+ who wants to have an impact on York mental health’s action plan

Who will be there?

• Ben Hutchinson (York CVS) – your main young person contact
• Chris Klays (CAMHS) – your main young person contact
• System leaders – council decision makers, mental health leads, commissioners

What will happen on the day?

• Small group chats about mental health support in York
• Share your ideas with decision makers
• Vote on priorities and actions
• Tell us what would make the biggest difference

What’s in it for you?

• 💷 Payment for your time
• 🚌 Travel expenses reimbursed (keep your bus/train tickets)
• 🍪 Food and Refreshments (Food, drinks and snacks) – Please email us if you have any dietary requirements
• 📝 Your ideas taken seriously – not just a tick box
• See the leaflet attached on how we will support you on the day.

How to sign up?

We need to keep track of numbers so if you are interested in attending, please sign up via this EventBrite link: https://shorturl.at/7qlP5

Email Ben or Chris at: [email protected] / [email protected] – we’ll reply quickly.

11/06/2026

Come and put down the things you were never meant to carry and let’s get you back to you 😊 To find out more or book a free 1:1 consultation get in touch www.mytimetherapies.co.uk

The smile gets so practised you forget it is a performance. You do it automatically now. Someone asks how you are and the answer is already out before you have even checked in with yourself. Fine. Good. Getting there. Said with enough conviction that they nod and move on and you feel the familiar relief of having got through the interaction without anyone getting close enough to see the actual answer.

Time did not heal it. Time just gave you more opportunities to practise looking healed. More years of showing up, functioning, doing what was required, getting through the days that felt impossible without letting anyone know they felt impossible. You got so good at it that people stopped asking. Which felt like success and also felt like the loneliest thing in the world because part of you was desperate to be asked and actually seen when you answered.

The things you never got to process did not disappear because you got on with your life. They are in there. In the body, in the patterns, in the way certain moments hit differently than they should and you cannot always explain why to anyone including yourself. You just know that something got activated and now you need the rest of the day to quietly recover from something nobody around you even noticed happened. That is not weakness. That is decades of unprocessed pain finding the cracks when your guard comes down.

The performance is exhausting in a way that is almost impossible to explain to someone who has never had to do it. Not the big performances. The small daily ones. The ones that happen in supermarkets, at work, in conversations with people who care about you but not quite enough to push past the fine. The energy it takes to hold the real thing back while presenting the acceptable version is energy that is not going anywhere else. It just disappears into the performance every single day.

You are allowed to put it down sometimes. Not for everyone, not all at once, but somewhere. With someone. In whatever way feels safe enough to try. The thing you are carrying did not arrive because you were not strong enough to process it at the time. It arrived because there was nobody safe enough to process it with and nowhere appropriate to put it and so you did what you always did. You kept going. You kept smiling. You kept showing up. That was never a character flaw. That was survival. But survival was never supposed to be permanent.

10/06/2026

Had a great night at these awards on Monday with my son. The room was full of so many amazing people 😊 Big thanks to Paula Stainton from York City Ladies Football Club for the tickets 🧡