Salvus Psychotherapy Clinic

Salvus Psychotherapy Clinic Tweens to teens and parents psychotherapist
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Sometimes your teenager comes to you not for a solution.They may say, “I had an argument with a friend,” “I failed a tes...
08/09/2026

Sometimes your teenager comes to you not for a solution.

They may say, “I had an argument with a friend,” “I failed a test,” or “I don’t want to go to school anymore,” and, with the best intentions, we immediately begin explaining, advising, and looking for a way out.

Because we love them. Because we worry. Because we want them to feel better as quickly as possible.

But instead of gratitude, we may hear:

“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“You don’t understand me at all.”
“Leave me alone.”

That can be painful, especially when you are genuinely trying to help.

But sometimes a teenager is not angry about the advice itself. It may be hard for them because their feelings have not had time to be noticed, while the problem is already being solved for them. In that moment, they may need not an instruction, but the feeling: “I’ve been heard. I’m allowed not to be perfect. No one is rushing to fix me.”

Try pausing first and asking:

“Do you need advice right now, or would you like me to just listen?”

This question does not take away your role as a parent, and it does not mean agreeing with everything. It helps create a space where your teenager feels respected — and is often more ready to hear you later.

On the Salvus ParenTEENg platform, you will find practical lessons on how to talk with your teenager without pressure, endless advice, or arguments.

If your teenager has become sharp or withdrawn, stays in their room, says, “Leave me alone,” “You don’t understand anyth...
04/09/2026

If your teenager has become sharp or withdrawn, stays in their room, says, “Leave me alone,” “You don’t understand anything,” or no longer tells you what is happening in their life, it can be deeply painful.

You try to talk, but every conversation ends in an argument.
You ask a question — they get irritated.
You offer help — they refuse.
And afterwards, you are left alone with the worry and the thoughts:

“What am I doing wrong?”
“Why have we grown so distant?”
“How do I avoid losing this connection?”

In those moments, you may feel torn between trying to reach them at any cost and stepping back completely because you no longer have the energy to face the rejection.

But a teenager’s sharpness and withdrawal do not always mean they no longer need you. Often, there may be tiredness, anxiety, shame, fear of being misunderstood, or a need for independence behind it.

If you do not know how to respond to rudeness, how to talk without pressure, or how to stay close when your teenager pushes you away, visit the Salvus ParenTEENg platform.

There, you will find a lesson on how to stay connected with your teenager, set boundaries without threats, and remain the adult they can come back to.

Follow the link in bio. 🤍

When your teenager keeps putting off homework, spends hours scrolling on their phone, or replies, “Later,” it is easy to...
02/09/2026

When your teenager keeps putting off homework, spends hours scrolling on their phone, or replies, “Later,” it is easy to see it as laziness.

And this often brings frustration, worry, and the urge to push harder: remind them again, take away the phone, or demand that they sit down and get on with it straight away.

But sometimes, behind what looks like “doing nothing,” there is something else: overwhelm, emotional exhaustion, fear of failure, anxiety about expectations, or simply not knowing where to begin.

Your teenager may seem indifferent on the outside while struggling on the inside.

This does not mean removing all boundaries or doing everything for them. But before increasing control, it can help to look beyond the behaviour and try to understand what may be behind it.

Instead of asking, “Why are you doing nothing again?”, you could try a gentler question:

“I can see it feels difficult to get started. What feels like the hardest part right now?”

Sometimes, this is what shifts the conversation - from conflict to connection.

On the Salvus ParenTEENg platform, there is a lesson on what may be behind a teenager’s “laziness” and how to support them through school and difficult periods without pressure, blame, or constant conflict.

Follow the link in bio.

When a teenager stops sharing, parents often experience it as a loss of closeness: “They’re pulling away,” “I’m no longe...
26/08/2026

When a teenager stops sharing, parents often experience it as a loss of closeness: “They’re pulling away,” “I’m no longer needed,” or “I don’t know anything about their life anymore.”

But a teenager becoming more private does not always mean trust has been broken. During adolescence, their need for independence and privacy grows. They are learning to decide what they want to share and what they want to keep in their own inner world. The parent-child relationship naturally changes at this stage — but that does not mean it becomes less meaningful.

A parent’s anxiety is understandable. But it can create a cycle that increases distance: the less a teenager shares, the more we may question, control, and try to pull a conversation out of them. The more pressure they feel, the more they may want to shut down.

Instead of trying to get answers immediately, try offering a simple message:

“I’m here. I want to understand you. When you are ready, I will listen.”

This is not about removing boundaries. It is about showing your teenager that connection with you is possible without interrogation or judgement.

On the Salvus ParenTEENg platform, there is a lesson on how to have conversations with your teenager when they shut down, pull away, or respond sharply.

Tap the link in my bio.

When friends become very important to a teenager, it is easy for a parent to feel pushed into the background.Especially ...
18/08/2026

When friends become very important to a teenager, it is easy for a parent to feel pushed into the background.

Especially when all you hear at home is “Fine,” while your teenager shares their news, emotions, and worries with friends instead.

But close peer relationships are an important part of adolescence. Through friendship, teenagers learn how to build relationships as equals, feel a sense of belonging, explore different roles, and gradually understand who they are. This does not make family less meaningful, and it does not mean that parents no longer influence their teenager’s life.

The hardest part is not turning your anxiety into control. When we dismiss friends, feel jealous, or demand that a teenager choose family over friends, they may shut down even more.

Instead of competing, try to remain a curious and steady adult: respect their personal space, maintain boundaries, and let them know you are there when they need support.

On the Salvus ParenTEENg platform, there is a lesson on how to stay connected with your teenager as their world increasingly expands beyond the family. Tap the link in my bio.

Sometimes we think a strong reaction is only about our teenager’s behaviour.They answered sharply. Slammed the door. Ign...
17/08/2026

Sometimes we think a strong reaction is only about our teenager’s behaviour.

They answered sharply. Slammed the door. Ignored a question.

But often, the emotion feels so big because it touches something deeper, too.

Behind anger, there may be helplessness.
Behind anxiety, fear of losing connection.
Behind hurt, the thought: “I’m no longer needed.”
And behind control, exhaustion or fear of getting it wrong.

Strong emotions do not make you a bad parent. They can be a signal to pause and ask:

— What am I feeling right now?
— What has touched such a sensitive place in me?
— What do I need so I don’t lose my temper?

Understanding your emotions does not excuse hurtful words. But it can help you step out of shame and choose a different response.

On the Salvus ParenTEENg platform, there is a lesson on how a parent’s emotional state affects connection with their teenager.

Tap the link in my bio.

When your teenager shares less, closes their door, gets irritated by your questions, or wants to make all their own deci...
14/08/2026

When your teenager shares less, closes their door, gets irritated by your questions, or wants to make all their own decisions, it can feel painful as a parent.

Anxious thoughts may start to appear:

“They’re pulling away from me.”
“I’m no longer needed.”
“If I stop controlling things, everything will fall apart.”
“Maybe I’ve already ruined everything.”

Fear often leads to over-control: more questions, more advice, more checking, and more attempts to anticipate every possible problem.

But the more controlled a teenager feels, the more likely they are to shut down, argue, or hide what matters from you.

This creates a difficult cycle: the more anxious the adult feels, the more they try to control. And the more control a teenager feels, the more strongly they resist.

It is important to remember: your teenager’s need for independence does not mean they no longer need you. They are not asking you to disappear. They are learning to have their own views, make decisions, make mistakes, and gradually become their own person.

Your role is not to choose between two extremes: controlling everything or withdrawing completely.

Staying close means listening, holding space for difficult emotions, helping them think things through, and maintaining boundaries — without taking away their right to grow.

On the Salvus ParenTEENg platform, there is a full lesson on how to support your teenager’s independence without becoming over-controlling or emotionally distant.

Click the link in my bio, watch the lesson, and try the practice that can help you replace the fear, “They’re rejecting me,” with a steadier thought:

“My teenager is growing up — and I can stay beside them.”







It’s easy to look at your teenager’s impulsive choices, sharp reactions or risky behaviour and think: “Why can’t they j...
10/08/2026

It’s easy to look at your teenager’s impulsive choices, sharp reactions or risky behaviour and think:
“Why can’t they just stop and think?”

But your teenager’s brain is still developing. The part responsible for emotions, excitement and the urge to act right now is already highly active. Meanwhile, the part that helps them pause, plan and see consequences is still learning how to work consistently.

This doesn’t mean your teenager doesn’t need boundaries. But it does mean that criticism alone rarely helps them develop the skills their brain is still building.

Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with them?” try asking yourself: “What support, structure or guidance do they need right now?”

The third lesson is now available on the Salvus ParenTEENg platform. It explores how the teenage brain works and why your teenager may react the way they do. Inside, you’ll also find practical exercises to help you communicate with your teen without damaging trust.

Click the link in my bio, watch Lesson 3 and try the exercises.

The scariest feeling for a parent is looking at your teenager and thinking, “I don’t know who you are anymore.”And then ...
30/07/2026

The scariest feeling for a parent is looking at your teenager and thinking, “I don’t know who you are anymore.”
And then suddenly noticing that everything is changing at once: their style, music, friends, interests, the way they talk. Yesterday you saw “your child”; today there’s a teenager in front of you that you almost have to get to know from scratch — and you’re not sure if this is just a phase or if you’re really losing your connection with them.

Click the link in my bio to watch the full lesson on Salvus ParenTEENg about how teens search for their identity and to try a practical exercise. It can be your first step from “there’s a stranger in front of me” to a real, honest connection with a teenager who is trying to figure out who they are — with you by their side.

16/07/2026

Most parenting advice tells you what to do.

But if you’re raising a teenager, you already know that checklists and quick tips alone rarely change the relationship.
That’s why I’ve created a new lesson series for parents of teenagers—not another collection of “parenting hacks,” but a space to help you understand why your teenager behaves the way they do.

The first lesson is now live on the parenTEENg platform and is called “Behaviour Is Communication.”

Together, we’ll explore why rudeness, silence, “I don’t care,” and door-slamming often communicate far more than words ever could, and how learning to see the message behind the behaviour can completely change the way you respond.
If this resonates with you, head to the link in my bio. You’ll find the first lesson there, and you can begin the series alongside me—one lesson at a time.

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Orchard Wellness Center, 1 Street Anthony's Terrace, Harmony Row
Ennis

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Monday 9am - 5pm
Tuesday 9am - 5pm
Wednesday 9am - 5pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 5pm

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