22/08/2025
Really good sensible advise from Dr Mary O'Kane
Just in case the Leaving Cert results tomorrow do not go as well as hoped, here are a few tips for dealing with disappointment.
If they are disappointed, it can feel immediately devastating. We know it is not the end of the world, but to your teen, it can feel like it. As a parent, it can be difficult to know what to say, but don’t try to immediately ‘fix it’ by offering solutions. Instead, empathise letting them know you are so sorry that they are disappointed. Just listen to them and let them know you are there for support. Stay calm and try to keep a sense of perspective yourself.
Don’t get annoyed and try to blame the teachers, school etc. This really won’t help. Even if you feel they should have studied harder, now is not the time for ‘should haves’, judgement or criticism will not help. It will only make them feel worse than they already do.
Instead, focus on any positive results and remind them that those results reflect their true ability. Acknowledge the work they put in. Remind them that there are many ways to get where they want to go, and that you will sit with them and consider all the various options when the dust settles.
For now, encourage them to go out and celebrate with their friends, even if they are disappointed. They don’t have to share points if they don’t want to, they can just say that they were a bit disappointed that they didn’t get what they had wanted and will consider all their options tomorrow.
Take a day out, after that you can sit with them and talk about options. You can appeal any grades if necessary. They might consider accepting whatever CAO course they are offered, but they might also investigate other options such as Apprenticeships, PLC courses or Independent College courses. Or they might consider repeating the exams or taking a year out. If necessary, they might want to speak to their Guidance Counsellor about all their options.
Just because this exam did not go to plan, you want them to see the bigger picture. Very few of us follow a straight line to get where we want in life. Most of us have plenty of twists and turns along the way. There are still plenty of options open to them, and you are still proud of them. Reassure them that you love them no matter what, these results do not define them.