Black Jaguar Shaman

20/10/2026

**The Frenchman and the Cockroach 😂🇫🇷🪳**

Mumbai, circa 2004–2005. A fancy Italian restaurant. A French executive with A LOT to say about everything wrong with India. And one very unexpected guest who had absolutely no intention of leaving. 🤣

Sometimes, life serves you a little perspective with your dinner. Sometimes, it serves you a cockroach. 😂

And sometimes, the universe has a wicked sense of humour.

**Never underestimate Mumbai’s sense of humour.** 🇮🇳😂

19/10/2026

**Why We Worship Goddesses and Still Treat Women Badly (It Might Not Be What You Think)**

During Navratri, I saw so many people sharing posts about the contradiction: we worship goddesses, yet continue to treat women so badly.

I agree. But I noticed something else.

Sometimes, the very people who share these posts participate in the same patriarchal dynamics they publicly condemn. When a woman is in conflict with a man, we hear: “There are two sides to every story” or “Women can be just as bad as men.”

Of course, women can be wrong. But do women and men hold equal power in a patriarchal society?

Who gets believed? Whose character, choices and entire life are put on trial? Who gets publicly shamed, branded a liar or manipulator, or even threatened with rape—sometimes before the facts are clear?

When we condemn misogyny in public but reproduce its dynamics in our own lives, is that feminism—or performative feminism?

And there is something deeper here.

**Women are not seen as human.**

We dehumanise women when we treat them as inferior. But we can also dehumanise them by putting them on a pedestal—as goddesses, queens, or ideals of perfection.

We expect women to be strong, to say the right things, to smile through hardship, to fight back in the right way, and to be the “perfect victim” before we believe them.

And when they fail to live up to these ideals, we punish them for being human.

Perhaps the question isn't just why we worship goddesses while treating women badly.

Perhaps it's whether we can allow women to be fully human—with flaws, agency, anger, vulnerability, and the freedom to live their own lives.

**Dehumanisation doesn't only happen when we put someone down. It can also happen when we put them on a pedestal.**

18/10/2026

17/10/2026

The Great Pastry Heist: Was This Monkey a Shaman? 😂🐒
**I thought I was buying pastries. Little did I know, the universe had other plans!** 😂

I survived the steep climb, selected the BEST pastries, and thought my mission was accomplished…

Until a cheeky monkey decided that the entire box belonged to HER! 😭🥐

I pleaded. She looked back. I hoped for mercy.

**NOPE. The bandit escaped with the loot!** 🤣

Months later, I was diagnosed with diabetes. And naturally, my shamanic brain had ONE question:

🔮 *Was the universe trying to tell me something?*

Relax, folks! 😂 That's NOT how diabetes works. But the timing? **ABSOLUTELY DIVINE!** 🙈

Sometimes life gives you a lesson. Sometimes it gives you a cosmic joke. And sometimes… it gives your pastries to a monkey!

Tell me, my friends: **Was this a coincidence, a cosmic prank, or did that monkey KNOW SOMETHING?** 👀🐒

14/10/2026

**POISON PILLAR 9: DISENFRANCHISEMENT** 🐆
**WHO DECIDES IF YOU ARE LEGITIMATE?**

Let me tell you about a time my passport almost decided whether I was allowed to travel.

In 2022, I was travelling to Mexico via Turkey. I held a valid UK visa.

The Mexican Embassy's website clearly stated that eligible travellers holding a valid, multiple-entry UK visa could enter Mexico without obtaining a separate Mexican visa. At the time, there was no requirement for the UK visa to have been used previously. Nor did I have to travel to the UK first.

I had checked the official rules. And because I anticipated problems, I had even obtained a letter from the Mexican Embassy confirming my eligibility.

Yet, at the airport, I was told:

**“You can't use your UK visa for Mexico.”**

I showed them the letter.

The smile disappeared.

And suddenly… I could board.

But what stayed with me was watching other passengers being pulled aside, their passports taken, made to wait in hot, crowded areas and spoken to dismissively. The people I saw being treated this way were overwhelmingly from African, Asian and Eastern European countries.

It made me think about **PASSPORT POWER.**

Disenfranchisement isn't just about taking away someone's vote.

It's also about deciding whose documents are trusted, whose movement is easy, and whose freedom becomes a negotiation.

Your passport can shape where you can travel, work or study. Your nationality can influence your access to rights, opportunities and participation. And millions of people lack a nationality they can rely on to access rights and protection.

So ask yourself:

**Who gets to move freely?**
**Who gets believed at the border?**
**Who gets treated as legitimate?**
**And who must repeatedly prove they belong?**

Because when a system controls your access to movement, citizenship, participation and belonging, it isn't just controlling where you can go.

**IT'S CONTROLLING HOW MUCH OF THE WORLD YOU'RE ALLOWED TO INHABIT.**

And that…

is **SYSTEMIC COERCIVE CONTROL.**

🐆 Black Jaguar Shaman

12/10/2026

**POISON PILLAR 8: DISCOURSE CONTROL** 🐆

The most powerful censorship is the kind that makes you silence yourself.

Who decides what you're allowed to say?

Coercive control isn't only about controlling what people DO. It's also about controlling what can be SAID.

In families, it sounds like:
*“That's private.”*
*“Don't tell anyone.”*
*“You'll destroy this family if you talk.”*

In organisations, it sounds like:
*“You're disloyal.”*
*“You're damaging the team.”*
*“You're not a team player.”*

A whistleblower reports wrongdoing. But instead of asking whether the wrongdoing is real, people ask why the whistleblower is causing trouble.

The focus shifts from the alleged wrongdoing to the person who speaks up.

Because when you control the discourse, you control what becomes *sayable*.

Certain questions become inappropriate. Certain histories become private. Certain truths are dismissed as divisive or inconvenient.

You don't have to prove someone wrong. You can make speaking costly—socially, professionally, financially and emotionally.

Eventually, people learn that silence is safer.

And when people begin censoring themselves, you no longer need to silence them.

**You've taught them to do it for you.**

That is systemic coercive control.

**A NOTE ON FREE SPEECH:** Advocating the freedom to speak does NOT mean endorsing hate speech. Freedom of expression is not a licence to spread hate, dehumanise others or incite harm. Challenging the silencing of truth is not the same as defending the weaponisation of speech against others.

10/10/2026

POISON PILLAR 7: CREDIBILITY REDUCTION
BLAMED. SHAMED. DISBELIEVED. AND THAT'S THE POINT.

Who gets believed?

Because before we even ask “What happened?”…

we often decide whether the person telling us is credible enough to believe.

And this is where systemic coercive control gets very clever.

Take women experiencing violence.

If she cries, she's emotional.

If she doesn't cry, she's cold.

If she stays, people ask:

“Why didn't she leave?”

If she leaves and goes back:

“She must not really have been afraid.”

If she's angry:

“She's aggressive.”

And if she's calm?

“Something doesn't seem right.”

So the question quietly shifts from:

“What was done to her?”

to:

“Did she behave like the victim we expected?”

But credibility isn't only about what you say.

It's also about how you communicate.

And our systems often privilege a very narrow model of communication:

articulate,

verbal,

confident,

quick,

assertive,

good eye contact,

the right emotional expression.

And then something incredibly dangerous happens.

Non-verbal can get mistaken for unintelligent.

Silence can get mistaken for agreement.

Compliance can get mistaken for consent.

And difficulty communicating can get mistaken for lack of understanding.

But none of those assumptions are necessarily true.

A person can understand everything and communicate very differently.

A child can know exactly what happened and struggle to articulate it.

A traumatised person can remember something without being able to narrate it neatly.

A disabled or non-speaking person can have extraordinary cognitive capacity without communicating through conventional speech.

And suddenly credibility becomes less about whether the evidence supports the person's account…

and more about whether the person performs credibility in a way the system recognises.

And this isn't only about women.

Children.

Disabled people.

People from marginalised communities.

People who don't speak the dominant language.

People who communicate differently.

People whose anger, accent, clothing, caste, race or social class triggers an existing stereotype.

The question becomes:

“Does this look like a credible person to me?”

And once your credibility is reduced, everything you do can become evidence against you.

Your anger becomes instability.

Your fear becomes weakness.

Your resistance becomes aggression.

Your silence becomes consent.

Your inconsistency becomes lying.

And your difference becomes deficiency.

That is the poison.

Because if you can make someone unbelievable…

you don't actually have to silence them.

You simply make sure nobody listens.

And that…

is systemic coercive control.

09/10/2026

Cyntoia Brown was sixteen years old.

She had been s*xually exploited when she killed a man who had picked her up for s*x.

She was prosecuted as an adult, convicted of murder and sentenced to life imprisonment, with parole eligibility only after 51 years under the law at the time.

She spent about 15 years in prison before her sentence was commuted.

Her case became a debate about exploitation, trauma, juvenile justice and self-defence.

But Cyntoia's story raises a much bigger question:

Who is actually allowed to fight back?

Because when women resist violence, the story can change very quickly.

A woman defends herself—

and suddenly we're asking:

Why was she violent?

Not:

What happened before she became violent?

This is one of the poisons of systemic coercive control.

The violence that created the resistance disappears…

and the resistance becomes the new problem.

And there are documented cases of women experiencing intimate-partner violence being criminalised when they fight back.

In one Canadian study of 25 Black women who had experienced intimate-partner violence, 15 had also been charged with an IPV-related offence—and racialised stereotypes of Black women as aggressive or violent could influence how their victimisation was interpreted.

And globally, UN materials explicitly recognise coercion, self-defence and survival strategies as pathways through which survivors can enter criminal justice systems.

But the policing doesn't stop at the courtroom.

It becomes moral.

Be nice.

Don't provoke him.

Stay calm.

Forgive.

Be compassionate.

Be the bigger person.

And then spirituality gets weaponised.

Rise above it.

Send them love.

Let go of your anger.

But forgiveness is a choice.

Compassion is a choice.

Peace is a choice.

None of them should require surrendering your right to protect yourself.

And this mechanism isn't confined to women.

Across different countries, Dalit activists in India, Black political organisers in the United States, Indigenous land defenders in Canada, and Palestinian activists have all faced forms of resistance being reframed through labels such as extremism, criminality, disorder or security threat.

Different people.

Different systems.

Same question:

Who gets to resist without becoming the problem?

Because when resistance is repeatedly labelled violent, irrational, criminal or immoral…

eventually people learn to police themselves.

And that…

is coercive control.

08/10/2026

What if I told you that financial abuse is not just a relationship problem?

What happens in an abusive relationship when someone controls your money, your access to food, your transport, your housing…?

You become dependent.

And when you become dependent, your choices become smaller.

That is resource control.

But here’s where it gets interesting.

Because the same mechanism can operate at a much larger scale.

Control someone’s income, and you control what they can afford.

Control employment, and you control their economic independence.

Control housing, and you control where they can live.

Control food and water, and you control basic survival.

Control transport, and you control their ability to leave, work, organise, or even access help.

And when several of these are controlled together, something much more powerful happens:

Dependency is manufactured.

Now imagine scaling the abusive relationship up.

One person controls the resources of another person.

A family controls the resources of its members.

An institution controls access to resources.

And systems can structure who gets access to money, land, housing, employment, healthcare, education, food, water and mobility—and on what conditions.

This doesn't always look like someone standing over you saying,

"You are not allowed."

Sometimes it looks like:

"You simply can't afford it."

"There are no opportunities here."

"That's the only housing available."

"That's the only job you can get."

"That's just how the system works."

And that is why systemic coercion can be so difficult to see.

Because nobody has to hold a gun to your head.

If your access to the resources required for autonomy is controlled, your choices can be controlled without your choices ever being formally taken away.

That is the poison.

And once you see resource control this way…

you stop asking only, “Who has the money?”

You start asking:

“Who controls access?”

And that question changes everything.

06/10/2026

**I studied narcissism for years. But I found something bigger.**

What if some of the patterns we have been taught to understand as *individual pathology* are actually expressions of something much larger?

Over years of studying narcissism, trauma and coercive control — and through witnessing these patterns not only between individuals, but within families, institutions, communities and larger systems — I began to see a disturbing pattern.

The problem isn't always **the narcissist.**

Sometimes, the problem is **the system that makes coercion possible.**

This is why I developed the **Black Jaguar Model of Systemic Coercive Control**.

In this model, coercive control is not limited to an individual relationship. It can operate through systems that distort reality, manufacture fear, isolate targets, destroy credibility, exploit vulnerability and control access to resources.

In Part 1, I introduce the model and five of its **Poison Sub-Pillars**:

🐆 **1. Misrepresentation**
Distorting who someone is, what happened, or what reality actually looks like.

🐆 **2. Desacralisation**
Stripping people, beings, relationships, identities or realities of their inherent dignity, meaning and legitimacy.

🐆 **3. Terror Campaigns**
Creating fear, threat and psychological insecurity to control behaviour.

🐆 **4. Scapegoating Vulnerable Entities**
Making those with less power carry the blame for problems created or maintained by the system.

🐆 **5. Resource Control**
Controlling access to money, housing, information, opportunity, social support, mobility or other resources necessary for autonomy.

And these are only the beginning.

There are more pillars to this model — which I will explore in subsequent parts.

This isn't about replacing one label with another.

It is about asking a much bigger question:

**What happens when coercive control stops being understood only as something one person does to another — and we begin to see the systems that enable, reproduce and protect it?**

I call this the **Black Jaguar Model** because the jaguar does not look away from what is hidden in the forest.

Neither should we.

**Part 1: The Black Jaguar Model of Systemic Coercive Control.**

🐆 *The spiritual should not be disconnected from the physical. Honour reality. Honour lived experience.*

**I studied narcissism for years. But I found something bigger.**...