03/08/2026
The Loop, According To Me
Neuroscience called, babe.
Said my brain is basically a scrapbook
of everything I already know.
No wonder my life keeps looking like a rerun
I didn’t even like the first time.
Same alarm.
Same people.
Same coffee, same commute, same conversation where I say
“I’m really going to change this time”
while my neurons roll their eyes and press play again.
Same circuits firing, every day.
Same thoughts making same choices
making same messes
making same feelings I then try to journal away.
Wash, rinse, repeat until enlightenment or exhaustion.
Whichever comes first.
Turns out my environment is a very pushy DJ.
My job says, “remember who you are here?”
My relationship says, “remember how we fight here?”
My kitchen, my street, my inbox —
all of them whispering, “stay the same, love, it’s safer.”
And I listened!
I got the new job with the old mind.
New city, same carry-on baggage.
New love, same PowerPoint presentation of my triggers.
I rearranged the furniture of my life
and wondered why I still felt like me.
But here’s the whitty plot twist they don’t put on Instagram:
To change, I have to think thoughts my living room has never heard before.
Feel feelings my calendar didn’t approve.
Build brain pathways to a place I’ve never actually been.
I have to close my eyes and lie to my nervous system
so beautifully, so vividly,
that it believes it.
That it finally says, “oh, we’re there now?”
I stopped letting the outside write the inside.
Now I wake up before the world can tell me who I am.
Before the phone. Before the to-do list. Before the old program boots up.
I sit there, stubborn, in a feeling that doesn’t match my reality yet —
and I stay long enough for my brain to get uncomfortable
and then, miraculously, to get used to it.
Same thoughts, same life — yeah, I got the memo.
Now I’m breaking the loop not by hoping,
but by being someone my old reality has never met before.
Let the fun begin ☀️❤️✨
✍🏻 AOK
🎨 AI generated