24/08/2026
Pemphero Mphande writes on his Twitter:
About two or three years ago, I shared stories on a topic called "Why Women Cheat" on my page. The topic trended massively. I had hundreds of women in my inbox sharing their stories. Many women told me that the children they were raising were not their husbands’, while some admitted they were not even sure who the biological fathers were. I faced a lot of backlash for that topic, to the extent that some women called it immoral and asked people to report my page. Why? Because it is human nature not to want to confront our worst fears. The men would rather not know, and the women involved certainly do not want to be exposed for their treacherous ways.
I can tell you for a fact that women cheat and lie, and some are very good at it. I know men who are raising children who are not biologically theirs because their wives told me themselves and even sent me photographs of the children. In fact, some months ago, I saw a certain man in the commercial city walking proudly with children he believes are his, yet his wife confessed to me that those children are not his. I kept quiet when I met this proud man. It is none of my business to meddle in such affairs. I would never tell him. My business was to listen, not to judge.
It therefore comes as no surprise to me that a high number of men, reportedly 80%, who sought paternity tests found out they were not biological fathers. But what I find equally fascinating is the other 20%. These were men who doubted that they were the biological fathers. They had questioned the behaviour of their wives or baby mamas, looked at the physical atrributes of the children and thought, “This cannot be my child.” Yet the test proved them wrong. Think about the implication of that. If a man can be absolutely convinced that a child is not his and be wrong, then another man can be absolutely convinced that a child is his and also be wrong. There are certainly men walking around with complete confidence that “uyu ndi mwana wanga,” who would be shocked by a paternity test. Could that number also be 20%? We do not know, but the possibility itself is interesting.
My point is that the only person who can be absolutely certain that a child is biologically theirs without a DNA test is the mother, not the father. The man hopes, trusts and reassures himself as he hears the mother say, “Koma nde mphuno iyi ndi ya mayi ako tu, babe.” The only way a man can have certainty is through a paternity test.
Now, this conversation will enrage many women because, as I said before, some are themselves not sure who the father of their children is. It will also enrage some men because they would simply rather not know. Sometimes certainty threatens the peace that ignorance provides. Perhaps society functions better this way!
