17/03/2017
Dilapidated Marriage: the third kind
There are three kinds of marriage.
Not two.
You know Healthy Marriage
This is everyone's desire, longing and goal; a home where everything is as desired, goes as planned, a place to escape to when the whole world is topsy turvy. This is a truly healthy relationship, laced with judicious quantity of love, affection, respect- everything a woman wants in a man and vice versa. It has its challenges, but only helps to strengthen, not scatter.
You also know Broken Marriage
Okay, so almost everything that could go wrong in the relationship went wrong, and it led to separation of the couple or even divorce. Many people would agree that the couple in a broken marriage can never be whole again - deny it all you want. There will always be a measure of regret, and that in itself is saying a lot.
Then there is what I call a...
Dilapidated (or Troubled) Marriage
Usually, as in a house that collapses, the decay started subtly, but didn't get attention until the centre could not hold anymore. A dilapidated marriage usually begins when communication begins to reduce while assumption takes the reign - unchecked.
Marital dilapidation does not happen suddenly and it doesn't matter how old the marriage is. Inadequate attention to details in a marriage - by either party in a marriage or both - is more than sufficient.
So, the couple begins to live a lie; sleep in different beds, put up a show for the children, family, friends, colleagues, society, etc. In no time, there will be an implosion, then an explosion.
A dilapidated marriage can go one of two ways - back to a healthy relationship or forward to a messy divorce. As in all rehabilitation processes, it's a lot of work but worthy the trouble at the end.
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