05/06/2026
Thereās a moment in surgery most patients will never rememberā¦ but it stays with every anesthetist.ā
It happens before anything medical begins.
Before the surgery.
Before the silence of the operating room takes over.
A patient lies thereā¦. still awakeā¦ still humanā¦ still carrying thoughts, fears, maybe even trying to be brave.
Some are quiet. Some joke to hide anxiety. Some just hold on to a familiar face in the room a little longer than they need to.
And then anesthesia begins.
Not suddenly. Not dramatically.
But gentlyā¦ almost like being pulled away from the shore without realizing the water is already deeper than it was a moment ago.
We stay close in that moment.
Watching breathing soften.
Watching tension leave the face.
Watching awareness slowly loosen its grip.
There is no single point where you can say, ānow they are gone.ā
Only a gradual fadingā¦ like a light dimming in a room you didnāt realize was getting darker.
And then it happens.
The person is still thereā¦ but no longer present in the way they were seconds before.
No fear. No pain. No awareness.
Just a quiet suspension of everything they were holding onto.
And in that silence, before surgery beginsā¦ someone is being held safely between consciousness and nothingnessā¦ so they can return again, later, whole.
I feel so emotional right!
