Recipes4Change, Oostduinlaan 22, The Hague (2026)

01/06/2026

Resilience is often described as the ability to “bounce back” after adversity.

That description has never fully resonated with me. Having experienced and overcome a number of adversities in my own lifetime, I wouldn’t describe resilience as bouncing back. The reason is simple: after recovery, we are not the same people we were before. We are changed by our experiences. Yes, we may stand back on our own two feet again, but often we do so stronger, wiser, and more self-aware than before.

Resilience was the subject of discussion and reflection at last Thursday’s WBII network event, where Marjolein van der Kruk shared that she prefers to think of resilience as a “bounce forward.” She went on to share insights from her own personal and professional experiences on how we can overcome adversity in our lives and, indeed, move forward with greater depth and understanding of ourselves.

Her words resonated deeply with me, not only personally, but also professionally through my coaching and counselling work with internationals and globally mobile individuals.

So many of the people I work with have shown incredible resilience as they relocate around the world — often multiple times — leaving behind home, family, friendships, familiar systems, careers, and identities to adapt to entirely new cultures and ways of living.

Alongside the challenges of relocation itself, many are also navigating major life experiences such as divorce, grief, career transitions, loneliness, or watching their children leave home, all while trying to build a sense of belonging in a new community.

It is impossible to hold space for these stories without recognising the emotional weight that resilience carries. Conversations around resilience can feel deeply personal and, at times, emotionally charged or even triggering.

What makes gatherings like these so valuable is the sense of safety, connection, and understanding they create. They remind us that we do not have to navigate adversity alone and that healing and growth often happen in the presence of supportive community.

Thank you, Marjolein, for sharing your story and insights with such heart and wisdom. And thank you to Women's Business Initiative International (WBII) for continuing to create these inspiring and empowering gatherings for the international community.

28/05/2026

“Lasting love: myth or practice?”

That was the topic of discussion at TEDx Salon The Hague last Saturday afternoon.

It was such a thought-provoking theme that many of us chose it over a sunny afternoon at the beach.

My colleagues and friends, Cammi Manchur and Becky Makous, shared insights from the Gottman Therapy Method. Cammi spoke about the four behaviours that can damage relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Becky explored what research says helps create meaningful and fulfilling intimate sexual relationships — which definitely sparked curiosity and lively conversation in the room.

We then broke into small groups to discuss the role culture plays in how we relate to one another.

That part especially resonated with me.

Through my work as a coach and counsellor, I support internationals who come from one culture, marry into another, and try to navigate relationships, work, parenting, identity, and everyday life in a new country.

I often see how cultural differences can enrich relationships, but also create misunderstanding, loneliness, unmet expectations, and emotional tension when they remain unexplored.

Both through my own lived experience and the stories I hear in my work, I’ve come to believe that the most important relationship is the one we have with ourselves.

The deeper we understand our emotions, patterns, triggers, values, and boundaries, the better equipped we are to build healthier relationships with partners, children, family, friends, and colleagues.

This kind of inner work helps us navigate cultural differences, in-between spaces, and the complexity of building a life between worlds with greater awareness and compassion.

In multicultural relationships especially, love is not only about connection. It is also about translation: translating values, communication styles, family expectations, different ways of expressing emotions, addressing conflict, and defining belonging.

So, from your own lived experience, what do you think?

Is lasting love a myth — or a practice?

26/05/2026

Last Friday evening, I attended the launch of 𝘌𝘹𝘱𝘢𝘵’𝘴 𝘎𝘶𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘙𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘊𝘢𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘳 by Ana Denis — a book that resonated deeply with both my personal experiences and my work as a coach and counsellor supporting internationals.

Ana interviewed 100 women who relocated to the Netherlands and shared the stories of twenty of them in the book. What made the evening even more meaningful for me was that I personally know a few of the women whose stories are featured.

Listening to the conversations during the event, I was reminded how relocation is rarely “just” a move from one country to another.
Relocation changes far more than an address.
It can shift identity, relationships, confidence, career direction, belonging, and one’s sense of self.

This is something I witness often in my work with internationals navigating life between cultures — whether they relocated for work, love, family, or opportunity. Many find themselves in an in-between space: leaving behind familiar roles and support systems while trying to build a new sense of home, purpose, and professional identity.

That transition can feel disorienting and emotionally demanding. Yet it can also become a powerful period of growth, reinvention, and self-discovery.

What stood out to me most during the evening was how much people wanted to talk. The Q&A became the heart of the event because these experiences are so often lived quietly and invisibly.

Books like this matter because they give voice to stories many people carry internally.

The stories in the book are moving, inspiring, empowering, and deeply human. They reminded me of this quote:

“𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘴.”

So often, meaning is found not only in the destinations we aim for, but in the unexpected detours that reshape us along the way.

I’m curious — for those of you who have lived internationally or navigated major life transitions, how has reinvention shaped your sense of identity and purpose?

25/05/2026

My second move to the Netherlands came in 2001 — just one month before 9/11.

We relocated from Oman as a family of four, trying to settle into a new country while the world suddenly felt uncertain and unsafe.

At the time, my focus was simply survival and stability. My youngest child was still a toddler, my eldest was struggling with the transition, and we were all adapting once again to a different culture, climate, language, and way of life.

When I tried to rebuild my professional life a few years later, I encountered the rejection, self-doubt, and frustration that so many internationals experience when starting over.

Although qualified to work as a pharmacist in the Netherlands, my Dutch was still basic and opportunities felt limited. At the same time, I was studying to become an NLP practitioner through distance learning, trying to hold onto a sense of growth and direction, while managing family life abroad.

Then life shifted again.

My father passed away from heart disease, and soon afterwards my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer and came to live with us to receive treatment and care.

Somewhere in the middle of all this, I found part-time work at a health centre in The Hague that welcomed internationals.

Balancing work, caregiving, parenting, grief, and life in a foreign country taught me more about resilience, adaptability, emotional endurance, and organisation than any formal role ever could.

Looking back, I realise how often experiences labelled as “gaps” or “detours” become the very things that deepen empathy, resilience, and our ability to navigate change.

Perhaps this is why so many internationals eventually begin questioning not only what they do, but who they are becoming through these experiences.

Yet these experiences often develop extraordinary strengths, and now deeply inform my work as a coach and counsellor for internationals navigating relocation, career shifts, identity changes, illness, loss, and major life transitions.

Have the unexpected transitions in your life changed your sense of identity or purpose in ways you never anticipated?

19/05/2026

I relocated to the Netherlands for the first time in 1992. At the time, I was leaving London, where I held a management position as a pharmacist in a reputable teaching hospital.

I assumed my UK qualifications would automatically open doors for me there.

They didn’t.

I quickly discovered that my qualifications needed to be reassessed against Dutch standards, and because of differences in the educational systems, I could not continue working as a hospital pharmacist. I also realised that without speaking Dutch fluently, my job opportunities would be very limited.

I had arrived in the Netherlands six weeks pregnant, so rather than be discouraged, I used that period to adapt — learning the language, volunteering within the pharmaceutical sector, and understanding a completely new professional and cultural environment. I accepted that although I could not continue my career as a hospital pharmacist, I could still work as a community pharmacist. Not the path I had originally imagined for myself, but it became an important lesson in resilience, flexibility, and identity.

However, soon after my daughter was born, we relocated again, this time to Scotland, and once more I found myself rebuilding, readjusting, and redefining my place in a new environment.

My experience is just one of many stories, internationals carry with them as they relocate around the world. Behind every move lies a personal journey of adjustment, uncertainty, sacrifice, hope, reinvention, and growth. Careers are interrupted, identities are questioned, relationships are tested, and people are often required to rebuild their confidence and sense of belonging from the ground up.

Relocation is not only a logistical process. It is an emotional and psychological transition that affects every part of a person’s life.

These lived experiences were a big part of what later inspired my work as a coach and counsellor for internationals.

I understand, both personally and professionally, the emotional complexity that often accompanies relocation — the excitement mixed with isolation, the opportunities alongside the grief of leaving parts of yourself behind. I know what it means to navigate unfamiliar systems, adapt to new cultures, learn new languages, and continuously reinvent yourself through change.

Most importantly, I learned that every relocation, despite its challenges, carries the potential for growth. Each move expanded my perspective, strengthened my resilience, and added new dimensions to both my personal and professional identity.

Today, this understanding allows me to support other internationals with empathy, cultural sensitivity, and practical insight — helping them navigate transitions, manage expectations, and create a sense of stability, confidence, and belonging as they build a life in a new country.

16/05/2026

As a young person, I believed happiness was a destination — something to arrive at once all the pieces of life finally fell into place. But over the years, through relocations, reinventions, personal challenges, therapy, and eventually retraining as a coach and counsellor, I came to understand something far more meaningful: happiness is not a fixed place. It is a journey, shaped by connection, resilience, healing, and the stories we carry.

That is why Nuthan’s, 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘛𝘰𝘶𝘳, resonated with me so deeply. Earlier today, I finally joined the 𝘚𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘦𝘥𝘢𝘮 𝘚𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘴 tour, and it reminded me of something I witness often in my work — that genuine human connection can be profoundly healing.

As we wandered through the beautiful streets and landmarks of Schiedam, we reflected together on the theme of resilience and what it means to each of us personally. But this was far more than a walking tour. Through thoughtful prompts and open conversations, we explored our shared humanity: the challenges we have faced, the obstacles we continue to navigate, the ways we have adapted, and the support we both need and can offer others.

In coaching and counselling, I often see how transformative it can be when people feel truly heard without judgment. Today felt like a living example of that. Strangers became connected through storytelling, vulnerability, laughter, and reflection. There is something deeply powerful about being reminded that none of us carry our struggles alone.

One of the highlights for me was visiting Polina’s photography exhibition about De Gorzen, a neighbourhood in Schiedam. Through her photos of 19 senior residents, we were invited into the lived experiences of people whose stories might otherwise remain unknown. Each photograph carried emotion, history, resilience, love, grief, and contribution. It was a moving reminder that every person we encounter holds an entire world within them.

The exhibition runs until the 25th of May, and I highly recommend visiting it.

What also stood out to me is how important initiatives like this are for mental and emotional wellbeing. In a world where loneliness, burnout, stress, and disconnection are becoming increasingly common, creating spaces for authentic conversation and community connection is not a luxury, it is essential.

Connection heals.
Community strengthens resilience.
Stories help us make sense of ourselves and each other.

This was my first Happiness Tour, but it certainly will not be my last.

Thank you to Nuthan Manohar, Julie Taylor and Polina Nasedkina Photography for creating such a meaningful experience, and thank you to everyone who shared part of their story today. It was truly a joy to meet you all.

14/05/2026

Did moving to a new country ever lead you to question parts of your identity, beliefs, or the life you thought you wanted?

When I read these words, displayed in the image, from Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed, I had to pause:

Those words deeply resonated with me because they reflected so much of what I experienced through my own relocations, and later explored more deeply in therapy. Moving between countries repeatedly challenged not only my sense of belonging, but also my understanding of who I was outside of familiar environments, roles, and expectations.

With each move, I found myself adapting in different ways — adjusting to new cultures, languages, social norms, and ways of living. Over time, that naturally led me to question parts of myself I had previously taken for granted. Which parts of me felt authentic, and which parts had developed through adaptation, survival, or the desire to belong? Which beliefs, goals, and definitions of success were truly mine?

Therapy gave me the opportunity to slow down and explore those questions more consciously. I began to reflect on my beliefs, decisions, relationships, perspectives, and the stories I carried about who I was supposed to be. It became a space where I could separate inherited expectations from my own values, and reconnect with a more intentional sense of self.

How much of our identity is truly ours, and how much has been shaped by culture, family, expectations, or survival?

In my work with internationals, I observe that many people go through a similar process of reflection, especially during relocation and cultural transition.

Living between cultures often invites us to re-examine the assumptions we grew up with:

🔸𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘷𝘢𝘭𝘶𝘦𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦?🔸𝘞𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘸𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘣𝘺 𝘢𝘥𝘢𝘱𝘵𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨?
🔸𝘈𝘮 𝘐 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘺 𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘥𝘦𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘺?

Relocating to a new country is rarely just a geographical move. It can become an emotional and psychological journey of rediscovering yourself outside the environment that originally shaped you.

And while that process can feel unsettling at times, it can also be incredibly freeing.

So perhaps these are questions worth asking yourself from time to time:

✨𝘈𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘭𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵?✨𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘧 𝘯𝘰𝘵, 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘢 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦?

As a counsellor and coach, I offer a space for exactly these kinds of reflections — a space to pause, explore who you are beneath expectations and adaptation, and reconnect with what feels true and meaningful to you.

10/05/2026

I was fortunate to be raised by my grandmother — a woman who was deeply loving and incredibly wise. Her words guided me through many moments of darkness, and even now, years after her passing, they continue to shape how I see the world.

There is one proverb, translated from Arabic, that she would often share when I came to her feeling disheartened after a setback, or weighed down by a sense of failure.

“𝘎𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘱𝘢𝘤𝘦, 𝘙𝘢𝘸𝘪𝘢,” she would say. “𝘍𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘢 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘦𝘥.”

At the time, it wasn’t always easy to believe.

But she was right.

With time, those hidden positives did begin to emerge — through unexpected opportunities, through new directions I hadn’t considered, and through the growth, learning, and resilience that came from navigating those difficult moments.

Today, in my work as a coach and counsellor, I often find myself sharing this same wisdom with clients. So many people I support are moving through setbacks, questioning themselves, or feeling stuck in the weight of what hasn’t gone to plan.

And yet, with time, space, and support, something begins to shift.

Perspective alters.
Strength builds.
Possibilities emerge.

What once felt like an ending can slowly reveal itself as a new beginning.

I’ve also passed these words on to my daughters, in the hope that this quiet wisdom continues — supporting them in finding their own resilience when life feels uncertain.

We don’t always see the value of a difficult moment while we’re in it.
But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there.

✨ Looking back, where has a difficult moment shaped you in a way you didn’t expect — and what words of wisdom have carried you through challenging times?

08/05/2026

Before and after: change can be beautiful 😍

07/05/2026

Are you standing at the edge of change?

Change is difficult because it asks us to step into behaviours that feel unfamiliar.

Those new behaviours create new outcomes — different from what we’ve always known — and that uncertainty can feel unsettling. Meanwhile, the old ways of being, even when painful, feel predictable. We’ve lived them over and over again. They are known. They feel safe.

This is the quiet inner conflict so many people face when they are on the path to change.

And it’s not just internal.

Often, the people around us struggle too. Family members, friends, colleagues — they’ve grown used to a certain version of us. When we begin to shift, it can feel uncomfortable or even threatening to them. Not because they don’t care, but because our change disrupts what feels familiar and predictable in the relationship.

It becomes a choice:
Stay within the comfort zone, or dare to step into something new.

I’m often reminded of Alicia Keys’ song 𝘉𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘕𝘦𝘸 𝘔𝘦, where she captures this so powerfully — finding a new voice, new boundaries, and a new sense of freedom, even when others are surprised by it.

In my work as a coach and counsellor, I see this often.

Clients standing at the edge of change, asking themselves:
Do I keep moving forward into the unknown… or return to what feels familiar, even if it no longer serves me?

Real, lasting change takes courage.
It takes determination.
It often requires a leap of faith.
And importantly, it requires support.

Because change isn’t just about thinking differently — it’s about 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨 differently, making new choices repeatedly, especially when it feels uncomfortable.

Having the right support — someone to guide you, challenge you, and stand alongside you when doubt creeps in — can make all the difference.

And one more truth I often share with clients:
As you change, you may begin to see your environment differently. Some people will grow with you. Others may not.

That’s why it becomes so important to surround yourself with those who can recognise the value of your growth — and are willing to meet the “new you” with openness, not resistance.

Change is not the easy path.
But it is often the right one.

✨ What is one change you’ve been avoiding — and what might happen if you gave yourself permission to take the first step?

If this resonates, I’d love to hear your thoughts or experiences in the comments — or feel free to reach out if you’re navigating change and need support.

Recipes4Change

01/06/2026

28/05/2026

26/05/2026

25/05/2026

19/05/2026

16/05/2026

14/05/2026

10/05/2026

08/05/2026

07/05/2026

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