06/06/2026
Let's talk Parental Estrangement
* trigger warning *
( shared from another post)
I think one of the reasons estrangement hits mothers so hard is that it isn’t just about losing contact with a child.
It’s the moment you realize how much of your life was spent loving other people.
You loved your partner /wife/husband.
You loved your children.
You loved your grandchildren.
You loved your inlaws
You loved your friends.
You cooked the meals.
You hosted the holidays.
You remembered the birthdays.
You bought the gifts.
You babysat the kids.
You made the phone calls.
You worried about everyone.
You weren’t keeping score. Most mothers don’t. Then one day you get sick, have a crisis, lose your spouse, get older, or simply need someone to be there for you. That’s when some of us make a heartbreaking discovery. The people we would have crossed an ocean for wouldn’t cross the street for us. That’s a hard truth to swallow.
I think that’s why so many estranged mothers struggle during the holidays or special times. It’s not just that the phone doesn’t ring. It’s remembering all the Christmas mornings you created.
-All the birthdays you planned.
-All the gifts you bought.
-All the sacrifices you made.
You remember staying up wrapping presents when everyone else was asleep. Now not even a holiday text even on Christmas. Mothers Day and birthdays are ignored.
People ask why estranged mothers are so devastated and it’s because we’re not only grieving our children, we are grieving the loss of the family we THOUGHT we had.
We’re grieving the loyalty we believed existed. We’re grieving the future we imagined WITH THE GRANDKIDS AND HOLIDAYS…
And sometimes we’re grieving the realization that we gave so much of ourselves away that we forgot to save any for ourselves.
If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not crazy, you’re not weak, and you’re certainly not alone. This just cuts so much deeper than betrayal …. It hurts differently than ordinary loss. When someone dies, the relationship is taken from you. When someone is alive and chooses distance, the mind keeps asking “Why?” and “How could this happen?” That unanswered question can keep the grief active for years. Many estranged parents describe not just sadness, but a profound sense of disorientation because the story they believed about their family no longer matches reality.
Many mothers are carrying this same heartbreak in silence… the hardest part isn’t the silence itself. It’s trying to make sense of it all!
