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CarlyK, Hamilton (2026)

09/09/2026

I’ve been thinking about how interesting it is that two people can experience the same situation and see it so differently

We each have our own ‘life lens’ our experiences, beliefs and the patterns of responses we’ve developed all influence what we focus on and how we interpret events

Our thoughts create an emotional response- and often we loop our thoughts that reinforce the emotion. Before we know it the intensity of the emotion has us reacting from a place that feels completely justified…but is it?

I’ve seen some cool moments of people becoming aware of that automated response within them. Catching it, pausing enough to query it, and in the best moments - choosing to respond differently

We have more control in our response than we realise. A lot actually

It won’t change in 1 moment but if we commit to just start with noticing our internal talk before we react - that’s a step towards a worthwhile shift

If our current way of thinking has us feeling stressed, disconnected, defensive or stuck - and there’s another perspective available- its worth getting curious about what that could be

And I don’t mean pretending everything is ok or ignoring reality because some situations are genuinely sh*tty and the only way through - is through it

But let’s remember we have more choice that we often realise. It starts with us getting clear on what we really want - and aligning our thoughts until they become the new default response. Yes it’s probably going to be awkward and messy - but if you’re already uncomfortable……what have you got to lose

When we are all viewing life through our own lens - why not use that to your advantage. What if we put less focus on who’s right and who’s wrong and just focus on whether you’re connected to you values and the life that fits

Because maybe it’s really all about true connection. With us. With others. With life

Musings from Carly K

02/09/2026

Sometimes our best move is to take a step back

Life stuff can build up. You adapt, try and make things work. You take on a little more, smooth things over, find another solution and before you realise how much you’re carrying - it’s snuck up on you and it’s heavy

This is where I’ve found myself with work recently. Ongoing resistance, finding ways through it. Lessening pressure on others, only to find that pressure sitting with me and then feeling worn down and defeated with no more solutions to be found

So I stepped back from the way I’d been engaging and that gave me an opportunity to see the whole picture

I’d become stuck in feeling justified in my experience, and don’t get me wrong there were very valid reasons for my frustration. But if I’d stayed in that loop for too long I would have gotten more stuck - and missed the insights that are actually useful for me now

Mainly around how I want to show up

You see I’ve been overly accommodating, taking responsibility for solutions that aren’t mine to own. Staying silent when my voice was needed and ‘keeping the peace’ at the expense of my own (some of you might relate)

And the uncomfortable side of this - realising that some of my frustrations sit with me. Ugh

That kind of reflection cannot and should not lead to self blame - that’s not the point. Also it’s not to excuse the behaviour of people and impacts of the things they’re unwilling to face themselves- because quite simply - sometimes people can be dicks!😂

Their stuff sits with them. We sit with ours - only ours

For me this confronting experience has created space to stop with the people pleasing. To observe my thoughts without judgement, talk openly with those I trust and to refocus on what I can influence and let go of what I can’t (or at least park it for now)

And from here I have choices again. Actually some enjoyable choices and decisions that feel like mine. I think that’s what stepping back or slowing down can give us - even in the smallest ways - enough space to get out of our heads and see the full picture. Including ourselves as we are

And somewhere in that space the next best step forward appears

Musings from Carly K

26/08/2026

Not all change comes from the same place••

Sometimes we seek change because we feel unhappy, exhausted, stressed or we’ve had enough. Wanting things to be different - and that kind of discomfort can be exactly what moves us to act
Pain and discomfort can be a powerful signal that something’s not in alignment with us. But there’s something important to note here

There’s a difference between change through desperation to get AWAY from where you are ~
And the clear and empowering change of moving TOWARDS the circumstances we want

They can look the same from the outside but the motivation is different which matters to the end result and how you experience change

As life works sometimes we can find ourselves in situations we never saw coming and these can be the biggest challenges we ever face (big love to my people currently in this) when life deals those sh*tty cards that’s where I think a few of our human elements become most important

~self trust - not the attempt to control but that quieter inner knowing that you can do this. Even when self agency is limited, your power may be in the smallest of choices
~ and this is the big one…..you’re not meant to do these hard things alone 💕

There are seasons where you’ll be the one holding others up

And there are seasons where your priority needs to be self kindness and allowing others to hold you up

And there’s something beautifully human about that

Accepting support can be one of the strongest steps to moving forward

Because why should you have all the answers at all times?
You just need enough safety and courage to take that One. Next. Step - no matter how small it may seem. And if your courage is feeling low supplement it with the courage from the people who love you

As we traverse this crazy beautiful life it will with certainty- bring many changes. And with that your capacity and what’s most important to you can change too

So where you find choice - rather than forcing change to escape where you are, take a moment to trust in you and move forward - towards that life that feels aligned to you. And if you’re lucky enough to have beautiful humans beside you like I do - go together

Musings from Carly K

19/08/2026

Maybe you’re not overwhelmed because you’re not coping..
Maybe you’ve just been carrying too much for too long

You’re probably the person who notices what needs doing before anyone else, you’re the one that checks in, sorts stuff, somehow tasked with remembering all the things

And let’s face it you’re probably bloody good at it! And you may even make it so seamless that it’s somehow become the norm

At times being capable can become a bit of a trap as everyone just gets used to you being the one that handles it. And eventually you get so used to putting your own needs aside that you don’t even realise how often you do it

You just keep going…

Until your body starts telling you something’s off. Your energy, your mood, your health, your patience all telling you you’ve neglected yourself in the care you give to others

It often starts with a simple thought
“I just need to get myself back on track”
~better routines
~more discipline
~be more organised
~be more positive

But there’s a good chance that’s not actually what you need….yet

Before action comes awareness

It’s worth getting curious about your beliefs underneath all that ‘doing’
“It’s just the way I am” [says who?]
“I should be able to handle this” [why is it yours to handle?]
“I don’t want to let anyone down” [she says as she lets herself down]

Some of these stories we tell ourselves have been on repeat, created in a time that we simply needed to create certainty for an uncertain situation. And in these events your brain cares less about truth than it does for creating safety through certainty

A story may have served a purpose back then, but to leave it replaying unchecked brings us to where we are now. Where things don’t quite feel right. Where it has us feeling like we’re struggling - but what if we’re not?

What if this discomfort is asking you to
~pause
~get curious
~ask kinder questions of yourself
and to realign to you

This can open up space for updated, truer beliefs that lead you to the life you’re wanting

Because a truth will not ask you to get better at carrying everything

It will help you see what is yours to carry in the first place

Give yourself permission

Musings of Carly K

12/08/2026

Maybe you don’t need more discipline ~ maybe you need a different relationship with change.
For so many years we’ve been taught that change happens with Willpower . Discipline. Pushing harder. And sometimes that works, but often has consequences.

Sustainable, meaningful change isn’t only about changing what we do - it’s also understanding WHY we do what we do.

• the beliefs we carry
• the expectations we inherited
• the roles given to us

I see this so often in women (and to be fair men too) who have spent years silencing parts of ourselves as we prioritise everyone else. They’re capable, strong, compassionate- but somewhere along the way they’ve disconnected from themselves.

And when life experiences shift:
~ relationship dynamics
~careers that evolve (or dissolve)
~growing children
~changing bodies
or we simply realise we want something different - the old ways of pushing through don’t always work anymore.

That isn’t failure
That’s a valuable message

And maybe your next chapter isn’t about changing who you are, maybe it’s about reconnecting to the person you are beneath the responsibilities, the expectations and the stories you’ve been carrying.

Because meaningful change doesn’t begin with force.

It begins with awareness

and from awareness comes choice
• a conscious choice
• a courageous choice
• a choice back to you

This is your permission 💕

Carly K
‘creating spaces for awareness, connection and meaningful change’

30/05/2026

Hi
I’m Carly K
If you’re new here - or you’ve been here a while and things are starting to look a little different…welcome

This space has evolved - and so have I

My focus is on creating brave spaces for deeper awareness, connection and meaningful change • spaces where we slow things down enough to understand what’s really going • not just what you’re noticing - but what driving things in your space

▪️the pressure
▪️the reoccurring patterns
▪️the conflicting beliefs
▪️And the emotional load holding it all

Most women and leaders I work with are more than capable, more than compassionate - and have for too long been responsible for holding it all together
▫️often for others
▫️often without rest
And it all gets exhausting!

This work is about coming back to awareness • to connection with values • to what truely matters

Not through white knuckling it and pushing harder (you’ve probably tried that) but through kindness for what is, and understanding of the humanness beneath it all

If you’re here you might be:
🔹feeling stretched or overwhelmed
🔹navigating a change in circumstances
🔹questioning long-held patterns or beliefs
🔹or simply sensing that the way things have been - no longer fits

You’re in the right place

This is a brave space • for stepping into this work and creating clarity • and moving forward from there

If this resonates stay close. We’ll start gently…
Carly K

22/11/2024

Well here we are…it’s surgery time and you know what? The cleaning frenzy actually worked. I feel I’ve processed the emotions and am oddly calm. We arrive at the hospital and after final admin -on top of the previous 138 forms we head to my room. - no complaints btw I love thorough from the people involved in my surgery

I change into the obligatory unflattering gown and hop into the - get this - heated bed! My hunger from no food may be loud but I sure am cosy

I kiss my husband goodbye and give him the one. The only. Never to be repeated ‘thank you’ for snoring all night long because I’m too tired to be scared.
(What were you thinking I gave him 😂)

The prep work begins and I’m made to have my…….belly button sterilised # gag
Now I need to explain here - I have this odd thing (some might argue many)- it’s a total, freak out aversion to the b button. I can’t even think about touching mine, let alone witness someone put their finger in theirs. # More gagging. But I made it through

Waiting in the prep area I locked into some beautiful breathing exercises and even managed to doze between the medical team doing their thing. (Again thanks to husbands snores) The medical team are so lovely and skilled at small talk as they set me up on the operating table. The anaesthetist says something about sleep and……zzz
I wake up in recovery.

Vital checks begin - there will be many - and the focus is around my very low blood pressure. Seems my BP has been being a bit of a slacker (I was later to learn how much) and I learn another odd thing about me.My left arm reads higher than my right, and every so often the tricksters swap which has the nurses amused. I should’ve been taking bets.
Not something that ever came up during my years in first aid and volunteering on the ambulance.

Speaking of learning - how many of us actually understand our BP and what the numbers can indicate, how to use that knowledge?

We often only learn our health markers when our health has been impacted.
But imagine how empowering it would be to really navigate with confidence….less fear. More trust

I digress. For now I’m just gonna be here resting, managing pain and healing.
Talk soon xx

18/11/2024

So here’s where the human mind gets interesting….as I’ve been nurturing my body leading up to surgery- nourishing foods, womb healing ceremony (perhaps not quite me) embodied dance (love it) and returning to the pool (my favourite place) - you could say things were going…swimmingly.

I was feeling strong, centred and ready. And then the call came in. Surgery was brought forward 2 weeks, and just like that, my heart started racing. It was if the door to reality opened up and anxiety came running through

So I’m connecting with my newfound panic and decided - somehow without actually deciding - the best way to prepare for surgery and the 6 week recovery was…to clean! I mean like, clean clean. Ovens, windows, water-blasting the driveway, ironing and of course the all important wiping of skirting boards (who would have surgery knowing they haven’t cleaned them?!) I was on a mission - purpose unknown - and my daughter summed it up nicely when she said “um, you’re eyes look a little crazed right now” She may have been right, but here’s the thing, I wasn’t just cleaning like I thought. Turns out all that physical focus was processing fear, and strangely enough it felt great.

And while I felt better from my cleaning marathon, I do secretly fear that my husband may start scheduling me for more surgeries when he wants a spotless house!

This part of my processing got me thinking about how we cope when the going gets tough. We all have our tried and true go-to’s for handling stress but how often do we try something new?

Some of us have recently found cleaning over shut down. Others crack a bottle of wine (no judgement here) some meditate, or exercise, eat, or talk it out. Some of these we consciously choose and some are driven by something deeper feeling out of our control. But I’m really curious. What’s your thing?

Processing stress won’t always run perfectly, it’s not often easy and can be messy. But let’s own it. Without judgement -rather curiosity and compassion. Because at the end of the day, we do what we can with what we’ve got at the time. And in the words of ‘do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better. do better’

17/11/2024

Alright, story time. This one from my past still gets me fired up. At 16 I was taken to the Dr for what was supposed to be a solution to my horrendous, painful and unpredictable periods. And you know what I got? The pill. No tests, no diagnosis, no advice. The pill, and I took it because…well what else was there. I didn’t know.

Fast forward 20 years and I’m sitting in a health seminar (shedding tears for younger me) learning from (incredible woman) how detrimental that past decision was. And perhaps deep down I knew because I hated the pill and kept going off it.

But here’s the kicker - when I was 21 I hadn’t had a period for over 8 months so again I went to a Dr. This time he told me not to worry just come back if it went longer than a year. So I did. An ultrasound later and I was diagnosed with PCOS - and you guessed it - the pill. For the record PCOS isn’t just cysts. It’s a cluster of symptoms, none of which are fun. A cluster f**k of symptoms you might say. Oh but the ‘advice’ I left with…”you’ll probably need IVF to conceive, but interestingly if you do get pregnant it will be great for your hormones” WTF! If I had a dollar for every crap bit of advice..(spoiler I did get pregnant, but more on that later)

The crazy part? 30 years from that first cry for help I’m saddened at how little has changed in how we treat women’s health. Many of our girls today are still being given the ‘bandaid’ no support approach. Breaks my heart. And I can’t help wondering what my journey could have been like with actual support, and whether I’d even be facing a hysterectomy right now.

We’re still leaving women out to dry with no real answers, little support or education. Sadly the inequality of access to effective help that does exist is simply not good enough. We need a ‘culture of care’ where women’s health is not just dismissed as ‘just’ what women have to go through.

Here’s to the women out there whether currently struggling in silence, or finding their way speaking up and advocating for the health of all. And everyone doing the best they can with what they have available to them.

I wish for better. For us. Our daughters, nieces, granddaughters.

How about you?

16/11/2024

FINDING ACCEPTANCE
Ok, gonna put it all out there.. I’m about to go through something to help me - that I don’t want…. “the big H” (Hysterectomy) and I won’t lie the emotions are all over the place. Relief & Grief. Hope & Fear and a whole lot of ‘what ifs’

For over 30 years my body and I have been in a bit of a battle, raging over all the symptoms that come with polycystic o***y syndrome, a handful of endometriosis and a sprinkle of adenomyosis. (If ya know ya know) Yep it’s quite the trifecta of WTF with my reproductive health journey.

I’ve spent a lot of (wasted) time in Drs offices, had some unexpected hospital stays and tried (to the best of my capacity) implementing researched lifestyle changes. But after exhausting all efforts I’ve reached the end of my options. It’s now time for surgery.

Now here’s the thing. Logically I know this is the right choice for me, but emotionally? What a rollercoaster. Wilma (my womb in case you were wondering) and I are parting ways, and I’m realising there’s more to these organs than essential biological functions. There’s identity, energetics, and as I’m learning stored trauma. And best not get me started on the stigma around women’s health. We’ve been conditioned to keep these things quiet so as to not make others uncomfortable. *sigh

What’s helping me through this? Women. Women showing compassion. Woman that have been through a similar journey, generously sharing their stories with me. The more they do the more I realise how many of us are facing our own health challenges- often invisible and misunderstood.

I’ve got a tribe of beautiful souls supporting me, and I hope you do too. These posts are my way of facilitating that space. Where conversations can be started (even if not here on social media) emotions can be held, and permission given to show up as we are.

So here’s to the messy, complicated unpredictable journey we are on. Let’s walk it together because we are not meant to face hard things alone.
To be honest I’m nervous, holding back anger, a little ashamed (working on that) and also tentatively excited about what health might look like on the other side of this.

What about you? How are you feeling about your stuff?

CarlyK

09/09/2026

02/09/2026

26/08/2026

19/08/2026

12/08/2026

30/05/2026

22/11/2024

18/11/2024

17/11/2024

16/11/2024

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