Reset Mindset - Resilience Coaching with Maria Quayle-Guppy

21/03/2023

20 more beautiful candles will be poured in a few minutes and delivered tomorrow to The Merchants of Kerikeri . 65 Cobham Drive Kerikeri.

They smell gorgeous. Heidi my standard poodle is ”helping” me make them today. Sneaky peaking from under the dining table.

Easter is just around the corner and a great way to lift the vibe of your home is with a triple scented soy candle. Wrapped and ready as a gift.

Coconut Lime
Vintage Gardenia
Rose
Vanilla Bean

🤩

02/10/2022

It feels a relief to finally see a lot more speaking up about their neurodivergent children.

I think it’s helpful as it is very isolating raising kids that respond to the world in a different way.

I have found people are often scared that it’s catching or will be a bad influence. I personally feel (from personal experience) that they can also be the most loving and smart people with high morals I have met.

Understanding that when stressed or overstimulated by their environment they can become intensely overwhelmed which can look like anger when it mostly stems from intense anxiety. Also. They understand what is happening and feel embarrassed and awkward after lashing out.

To help cope as a parent or partner of a neurodivergent person…

Don’t become too offended or shocked at their behaviour and the affect won’t be so intense on yourself.

Self care and affirmations so you don’t feel so brittle is a must.

Setting the bar lower and lowering expectations is important. Minimum viable product I say.

Accept you may have little time away from your child and yes it’s lonely from time to time. I know. However this time isn’t forever and with the right attitude you will have a bond that will last a lifetime.

Need a hand with support? PM me (after the school holidays as my time these next two weeks are with my monkeys 🙉) www.resetmindset.co.nz

In her own words, Sonia Gray tells of the terror of nearly losing her girl.

28/09/2022

Sessions with High School students can be really helpful to set strategies and some school sports or activities that make sense to your teen/young adult.

Once someone understands what their interests are doing to not only put badges or embroidery on their hoodie - but are actually helping with sensory input; the buy in of “what’s in it for me” is so much easier.

Today I sat with one of my Year 9 clients and we chatted about midline crossing, calisthenics and Proprioception input.

We wrote a list of the things that were interesting to him (from a printout of nearly every team sport, solo sport, music, board game you can think of) and once he had chosen some that ‘seemed alright’ I explained what aspects of it and why it helps him with his ADHD, ODD and Autism.

We are super lucky to have our gorgeous skate park and basketball courts at the Domain. Basketball was something I was chatting to one of the school Deans about today and it’s apparently becoming quite popular at the high school.

My clients Aunt wants him to join a team he tells me. He left my clinic space telling me he “will accept her offer” 😂. My client is honestly such a great sort! When he came last week he told me he’s here for behaviour and anger issues which he wants to sort out and so does everyone else. He know from working with me two years ago for 8 sessions that the skills I teach help. So he’s all in for refresher sessions with me.

So these are his interests that have teams at the local high school - and they may help your person too.

Basketball - Midline crossing from running and dodging. Trajectory from throwing. Calisthenics from impact jumping. He piped up that jumping is in the Bounce Back journal from his year 7 days. Yep 👍

Badminton - eye tracking, eye coordination, midline crossing, calisthenics with the deep squat/reach/run/jump and stretching.

Things he liked from my picture list that he can do at home…

Chess - midline crossing. Strategy. Patience. He can play with his 8 year old brother. His 11 year old brother he tells me isn’t into Chess. We joked that his concentration and strategy performance would be increased if he wears his weighted neck wrap that he owns. Cheating or advantage 🤔 😆.

Cricket - he wants to play this with the family. He told me a funny story of his Dad whacking the ball on the roof.

Dancing and jamming to music while he plays his Xbox. Well that’s one good thing that can come from gaming. Beats and a good vibe comes from great music.

More simple solutions to help with regulating prior to school starting…. Let’s face it mornings are often a tough one to settle into.

This last week to help him burn off the upper edge of adrenaline his parents have been dropping him at a distance from school so he can boost it to form class. This, (while wearing his bag packed with stuff - including his neck wrap) gives some Proprioception input to help settle him before the 20 mins of news notices.

He tells me he’s been wearing his neck wrap to English and it’s helped him concentrate. Less tics too.

We have also made a list of what his stressors/triggers are in class and in orange you can see the solutions he has written down after I have chatted about the sensory overload that can be relieved.

These things may help your young person. You may also need an independent voice and a hand. I can help out here.

If you have a high school aged person who would benefit from after school sessions or school time sessions, please get in touch. I have two spaces left at the moment and more spaces coming free early in term 4. One on a Wednesday after school and two on a Thursday morning.

For those out of town. Yes I do zoom calls and the worksheets are emailed through.

24/09/2022

My client this morning was an awesome wife of an undiagnosed husband who is also going to have sessions with me. He may never get a diagnosis and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t. The reality is that the outcome of the quirks that happen are causing stress and disconnect. She loves him and he’s a funny, fun and generous guy. She needs skills to “dodge arrows” when his hyper or hyper focus annoys her. He would like to learn how to switch his mind off and how to “read the room”.

There were so many ah haa moments she had and when we talked about his avatar of traits that are endearing to her I could see her love of him.

When she understood that there will be wind down skills for her to do before he arrives home from work or before she does on the days she comes home after.

There will be sensory regulation things with the spikey Pinkle ball for him to do in the car as he drives home and a few simple breathwork exercises to stand that villi up in his lungs so he is properly oxygenated which will make him feel more chill as he arrives into the family environment. He already has a weighted neck wrap that he’s using to help his sensory responses settle before he comes into the home.

The family feel excited about having a plan and some practical things that make a difference to self regulate no matter the age of the person.

I’m really pleased for them.

If you have a situation that needs some skills please get in touch. Whether is a busy disorganised mind, a short fuse, misunderstandings of what was said and meant.
Let’s talk.

19/09/2022

I love seeing this sort of success.

I know receiving a diagnosis or noticing that things are different with your kid to other kids can be stressful.

For some it can be a fast forward in their minds eye of their child’s whole life - that hasn’t even happened yet, and seeing doom and isolation for them and you.

Yes sometimes it is isolating. Yes sometimes it is stressful. No it doesn’t mean the end of the road for them. It can be the start of a journey that is brilliant and full of potential.

I remember a non verbal boy who came to my kids self esteem classes I ran with some of my ponies. He came each week and with his Nana. He would practice mindfulness activities and was given permission to not make eye contact and fiddle to help him find his words. This took so much pressure away for him and opened doors to being able to concentrate on sharing at a pace he was comfortable with.

I remember when his Mum wrote me a testimonial about how he had received an assembly award and had made his first friend. I have followed his journey into his now double digits and see a confident lad who is blooming into an awesome young man.

Proprioception input, mindfulness, breathwork and permission to ‘do it their own way’ can take away the muddle and allow confidence to communicate.

www.resetmindset.co.nz

Touch base with me and let’s see if there is a connection that we can work on.

Reset Mindset - Stress management coaching and resources using Mindfulness, Affirmations, Pilates and Sensory regulation Support.

18/09/2022

And while hubby has been building I have been filling reed diffuser sets. They all come in these gorgeous mat black boxes with labels and ribbon of course.

I have Gardenia with black reeds here in the shop. Smells so pretty 😍

18/09/2022

Nice work hubby and Louis. A full length wall being built in my office to create a coaching space four time the size and completely private.

Oh to get married to the builder. Brings possibilities to life 😆

15/09/2022

Boxes and ribbons

Oh these are GORGEOUS!

Uploading to the website this afternoon. My shop smells heavenly in here 🥰

14/09/2022

Practice saying good things about yourself and your day when you are feeling good.

These affirmations help you lift out of a funk or shift from uncomfortable feelings when your day may be difficult.

Regularly saying affirmations that are positive about yourself can help you reframe a situation faster when you are too hard on yourself.

This young man is a joy to work with. I can see he is smart and totally thinks way outside of the lane some of his peers are working in. This will be an absolute asset as he grows. Harnessing belief in himself now for what might be different than others will build a self esteem that is strong.

I love working with his Mum too and was touched that his Stepdad popped in today to say hi. Unfortunately I missed him as was with this guy. Working with the family unit is what I do and it bring people together for the betterment of everyone.

My client and I spent a few mins before the end of session making a digital poster of his affirmations specific to him. We printed them out to hang at his home.

I love how comfortable he is to run with the sessions and add in his own stuff… like pen balancing while we chatted. Allowing independent fiddling allows the brain to think creatively and absorb new concepts.

Inside my Bounce Back journal (you can get yours here https://resetmindset.co.nz/shop/classes/bounce-back-journal/) is a whole section on affirmations and how they are so important.

13/09/2022

Be sure to make quality time for others.

On a Tuesday fortnight we take the family to our sons partners parents restaurant for dinner. We go there so we can spend time together with them. Chat and laugh. Share and be present with each other. Our youngest flips and flys around the tables. Next child up skateboards down the paths outside. Middle child eats a little before going for run with his friend once dinner is done. Eldest (and partner of their daughter) sorts what building work he can help with at the restaurant. Hubby chats with all about world current affairs. I love to watch all the interactions going on. In my happy place of people connecting with people that matter.

Our son and his partner live in a tiny house on our property so we are fortunate to see them all the time. The time spent with children that are younger is often the business end of the deal of putting boundaries in and them trying to break some. All normal growing up. Once they are at the end of this age they often go as late teens and that is it. You barely even know who they are and likewise they don’t really know you. Both sides often feel entombed to being misunderstood. Unknown to each other as others know us. Trust me it makes both sides feel a little sad. Clients in my office have often talked about this feeling of not being known for who they are as people.

I organised these dinner evenings to make sure her parents get to spend time with our son and her together with us. We are so grateful for the time we get to have with the young adult kids. I feel they know us as ‘real people’. Not just “the olds”.

As adults we need to model the importance of personal connection that is prioritised. I’m not going to expect my kids to know how important time is with parents as they won’t understand how short time may be with them. So I will help them create healthy habits of sharing their time in a fun way. Prioritising what is most important and doing it from a schedule regularly.

Not one of us regret the time we have together with them. I saw their daughter giving a lovely long closed-eye hug with her dad last night. I wish I had caught it on camera for her. It’s etched in my minds eye which is wonderful for me. That I am grateful for.

Quality time. Do you prioritise spending it with the right people?

If family are not near can a regular video phone call habit be created. If family have passed away, could you make an effort with a close friend that is like family you have chosen for yourself?

12/09/2022

So here is my s**t husband.

You know we all feel like our significant other is a s**t from time to time. And so am I probably.

A s**t with too much on their plate. Burdens and responsibilities. A day that something would trouble someone and it not bother them under different circumstances on a different day.

So let’s turn s**t around.

When I feel hurt by my husband for whatever reason that has happened; I approach it differently once the hurt feeling and situation has subsided.

I think of an acronym that best describes him and his core values and behaviour I appreciate.

S - steadfast and loyal
H - hard working
I - intentional and intellectual
T - tireless

What word can you turn around to find strength and satisfaction in your partner?

We all have difficulties in our relationships. It’s how after the event has passed that we deal with it that counts.

Yes these are my flowers from him that yes I asked for. Sometimes we have to ask for what we want and that’s okay. I very much appreciated these lovely alstroemerias he bought home tonight.