09/07/2026
I recently came across the book Mother Hunger after listening to Mel Robbins interview its author, Kelly McDaniel, and I felt called to share it.
One message really stayed with me:
"Let's stop blaming ourselves for the pain we didn't cause."
The book explores the concept of mother hunger - the deep longing that can develop when, as children, we didn't receive enough nurturing, protection, or emotional attunement from our mother or primary caregiver. This isn't about blame. Many mothers simply gave what they themselves had available.
Kelly describes this as a hidden grief - one that can quietly shape our nervous system, our relationships, our sense of worth, and even the way we seek comfort, connection, and belonging throughout life. She explains that this early wound can leave us with a lifelong craving to be mothered, cared for, and truly seen.
Our earliest experiences help shape how safe our nervous system feels in the world. When those needs aren't consistently met, our bodies may stay in patterns of hypervigilance, people-pleasing, emotional overwhelm, or difficulty trusting others. These are often protective responses, not personal failures.
One of the most important reminders from this work is that mother hunger is gender-neutral. It can affect anyone, regardless of gender, because every child has fundamental needs for love, safety, and attunement.
As a naturopath and Shiatsu practitioner, I'm continually reminded that our bodies hold our stories. Understanding our origins - where we come from and how our experiences have shaped us - can be an important step towards healing. When we understand our patterns with compassion instead of judgment, we create space for change.
If this topic resonates with you, I highly recommend listening to the conversation between Mel Robbins and Kelly McDaniel
https://youtu.be/Li5PCbqEaEw?si=BfWKrFTbDEmXs1Zw or reading Mother Hunger.
It may help you understand yourself—or someone you love—with greater kindness.
Have you come across the idea of "mother hunger" before? I'd love to hear your reflections. 💚