22/08/2026
Hey, my apologies, in that I forgot to give a shout-out to YouTube Music, For The Pushups Challenge, Some Of The Footage, As Well As The Walking Challenge For The Starship Hospital In The Successive Months Of February And March, This Year (In 2026). Whole I didn't always use YouTube Music, ... Quite A Few Times, I Did... On My Bluetooth Speaker, Recording The Feedback Sound On My Phone, Without their permission... At first... I don't know if I'll ever get Their permission, ... Hopefully I'll Get Their Approval For The Two One Offs... I've only remembered trying to email them about the Pushups Challenge, For Saving Lives From The bad effects of poor mental health unsupported... Mind You All, I'm not the best, at communication sometimes... Even now... And When I Was Doing Those Challenges, It's Good To Note The Following:
• I was on a second type of medication, added to what had been my normal regime for over a year, after it had been tampered with,... This caused extreme restlessness, impatience, forgetfulness, and sleeplessness practically, and probably more of my normal "symptoms" I had when withdrawing from other more sedative antipsychotic medication... So I want exactly... Me, or balanced... It Was A Miracle I Could Get Through Either Of Those Challenges, as normally I have not been fit...
• In February, before I got the email about the Pushups Challenge, as I might have mentioned in one of my videos, ... I had recently lost somebody to su***de, somebody who I kind of knew, another artist, who, like me, struggled mentally,... Probably much younger than me, and less experienced with waiting those thoughts and feelings and voices out, somebody who I had a long time ago tried briefly in passing to encourage and tell them I would be praying for them, but due to me changing location and having my own journey, I had failed to follow up... I felt really bad about that, and I never wanted to let that happen again! So, being injured on one or both shoulders, and heavily overweight (91kg/198 lbs, or maybe even heavier at that time!), I went hard.
• When it came to the Starship Hospital Challenge, In The last two years or so, I had, up to that point, list my husband and I've other person I knew, to cancer... Plus, I had a cousin who I knew prayed for me, battling against cancer, and in my family and friends, there were at least two can't scares, including my own with a rapidly morphing mole that turned out not to be cancer that was tested after it got cut off of my back,... So.. this was pretty real to me, I mean, real, as in "close to home"... Not to mention, many years back, I lost one of my grandmothers to cancer, the longest living, of all my four actually blood-related grandparents, so right up there with heart attack and stroke, was cancer, only second behind diabetes (yes, diabetes can kill, it killed the grandfather I never met, plus it made my husband's stomach cancer even harder to survive, let alone treat... His diabetes was getting out of control and managed with painful insulin while the Dr sorts told him to eat whatever he felt like, hoping he'd put on weight, as he was vomiting daily just about with every meal, and could only hold down ice cream at one stage... They were hoping he might go on chemo, even through they told him he had no chance of survival even on chemo, by the time they caught it, only prolonging of life, with a risk to the quality of his life, whatever time he had left, and the chemo centers were far away for him to travel to and he hated those cities, so naturally he refused... Diabetes complicated everything to do with stomach cancer, especially the aggressive one; that being said, aggressive stomach cancer further complicated everything to do with his diabetes and ultimately ended his life; not his choice, not anybody's choice down here on earth.) ... So I Decided To Risk Everything For My Body And Walk 80 KMS For Starship Hospital, All During The Month Of March. -By The Way, My Husband died, in March, 2024. So this was real raw and heavy for me.
- For Two Weeks Of The Challenge, I Could not Walk, because of my body having the memory of fasting for my earthly husband and being in hospice, and then being in grief for him a week afterwards around the time of his death, PTSD had right taken over, and I could not walk, would not walk, I took a literal break, right in the middle of the challenge, a complete halt.
• When I got enough strength to walk again, I had like maybe less than two weeks to figure out how to get in a lot, a greater portion, of the 80 KMS, ... So You Could Say, I Was In A Hurry.. Even with my busy schedule, catching up with everybody, and everything I had to catch up with... On the 26'th of March, having depleted my life savings two days previously and having to wait for my next Welfare check, in order to buy Cat Food, For My Only Official "Son" I Actually Legally "Had" To Reece My Earthly Husband (We never had biological children, this may sound comical, but We adopted A Cat, no legal papers, But did pay Pet Bond For Him To Live In Our Apartment, $610! ),... The Human Boy Officially Lives With His Mum,... We Are All Tight, But That's The Arrangement... -My Cat Had just Been to the vet, where they said He had a condition, that needed management through proper vet food and wet food that He would eat... Something like that- so back to the 26'th of March, 2026. I finally saw my Dr. About the crazy medication combo I been put on, and did not lightly tell her I was refusing treatment, I told her, this other pill was nearly causing a car accident. Then I tried to get in some more of my KMS in, so I walked for about an hour.. then, because my Cat Son Was Hungry, I hurried driving to the ships with my pay in, to buy my Cat Son The Food He Would Eat... And the road works were up, and the drivers were impatient, one almost crashed headon into me, when I did the Lower Hutt cheeky driving.. I was getting very upset, thinking about my Cat Son's Survival!... I also kind of... I lost sight of The Lord Jesus Christ,... Even while praying to Him... I was too angry, too desperate,... Too worried about my Cat Son, and my other financial worries... I was not thinking straight, unbeknown to me, the crazy medication's half-life was still in my system, and should have been avoiding driving for ten days ... I had no idea, as you don't when you're impaired and impoverished,... Never crossed my mind, at the time... On my way back from the shops, heading back, I realized my sound jack wasn't working, it was painfully clear (my Bluetooth speaker had been used up in the walking challenge time, that day and I couldn't afford a second charger for it, the first charger was at home, ikr? Like I say, I was impaired, three months impaired, and that day wasn't solving it yet, the half-life of the crazy medication had not left my system, or I would have maybe thought to bring it with me, and take it home at the end of the day... 😢)... So anyways, to my detriment, I was continually angry and trying to relax with my sounds, so when the sound jack malfunctioned, I tried to adjust it again... And it wasn't working (this connection with the sound jack and my touchy smartphone in my cheap car, had been progressively getting worse, harder to adjust, taking me longer progressively, now looking back on it, it wasn't if, it was when)... So I tried to adjust it again, again, looking away from the road... This time I heard a bang, I knew something had happened. I looked up to check my windscreen, it was cracked real bad on the passengers' side, my mirror although still intact, was hanging off, by a wire, and smashed... As I was pulling over the broken car, I heard screams, and I realized I had hit somebody... when parked, I ran to check if they were alive and maybe call the ambulance, the ambulance crew were already there... The person was alive, but injured, and pretty unhappy, but surprisingly quiet and calm... I was in shock... I never drove again, my Cat Son waited hours, that night, for His Much Needed Cat Food After Waiting For Us, While the person I hit was taken to the hospital and the police me questions and some witness grilled me for information while I waited for my dad to come on the scene (he got there fast) and it was all a bit of a blur... I didn't know if I would be allowed back to Church, nevermind finish the walkathon...
• On The Monday, my last day to finish the walkathon, I think around that time, I discovered not only was I allowed to finish the walkathon (managed To Be Allowed And Make It To Church Sunday... Managed To Stay Alive Saturday, And Not get hit by a car myself, the thought had crossed my mind)... But I discovered that my mother in America at the time, had sent me some hiking boots/shoes, like with shoe laces and such... So, I decided to try them out that day, as my imitation crocs had caused blistering the other day, on my foot/feet... With 22 KMS left to go, in one day, I think I woke up early, and just went for it... I walked from my home in Waiwhetu, to Eastbourne And bought A Cheap Afghan Biscuit (A New Zealand Type Of Cookie) Drank A Bunch Of Free Water, And Then Walked Back Home... I think it out me possibly slightly over the 80 KMS mark for my goal for March 2026. I think also, my Bluetooth speaker went flat after or during traveling the first stretch just one way.. I didn't remember exactly when it died, but it was before I was back through Seaview, that's for sure... I went through Grace field if I remember right, to avoid the Wainuiomata Hill, I had already walked up that Hill and back, and filmed it with music, on the way, so I didn't want to film the same route (I forget if I actually filmed my walk to Eastbourne and/or back, probably not back, if I had no Bluetooth speaker working... And my soundtrack might having been music to Preach The Gospel, so I don't remember if I filmed the journey... Remember, I didn't have ten days off of that crazy medication yet, all kinds of channels could have been going on... Mind You, Maybe God Did Say To Preach, I can't Remember 1. If He Did, 2. If I Preached, Whether In Obedience To God, Or Just Randomly, Or At All! I think I remember pointing the camera away from people, on my journeys...)...
Anyways, after that, I think the crazy medication wore off, and all that physical exertion on my unfit 39 year old overweight and medicated body (I'm still on my normal antipsychotic), and the trauma and shock of hitting somebody with a car and still processing joblessness, widowhood, and financial stress,... I was,... No other way of putting it, flat out exhausted... I needed months of rest, restored sleep,... Before my brain would even start to come right, nevermind my body... So I haven't walked, I haven't (unless God Told Me To) been on Facebook here, This Page, Posting Content... Or on mostly any of my Pages, Posting Content, hardly really... Much As I Wanted To... Only Managed One Unfilmed Trip To The South Island, Saw Friends, Got Up To Whatever I Can't To Do,... And All My Focus And Energy, besides surviving and recovering, Had Been On Two Things: That Trip Just Now ... And Hopefully, If The Lord Wills, Another Trip I Want To Take, If New Zealand Allows Me To... I may have to still repay the person I hit somehow (without money, so maybe a penalty... Unless the medication error clears me from what I did,... But either way, I still owe feel I owe that person somehow... And I still feel Earth-shattered when I consider the reality of what I did to this person... Very brief windows of mental sanity have allowed me to do this sometimes... Facing it feels scary)... And then there's my student debt, the one I've had for twenty years give or take, it was $16,144.00 almost twenty years ago to the date, by this December/next January, that would mark that twentieth anniversary... The other debt can't in, and I was aware of it, in 2010... Either way, they totaled some $23,000+ and then every year, even though there was no interest, and won't be as long as I'm not overseas too long, there has been a $40 administration fee... (I know what You're thinking... "$40? No big deal!" Right... But $40 x let's say even 15, try adding that up... Let me help you.. 10 x $40 is $400, 5 x $40 is $200; That Means $600 in 15 years alone, in administration fees.... If they do it 20 years, that's $800 and if I keep taking long to pay it off, and it's like 25 years, it would have been $1,000 in administration fees, given they did it every year... That, I gave failed to keep track of in my memory, not in documents, but the documents are hard to find, because my room... Is... In transition, and that's not gonna be snappy...) And then there's somebody else I feel I owe money, even though they never charged me and my husband was dying of cancer at the time... But I don't think I want to travel big time, overseas, until I've made these right... Which means I will need to find a job I don't have to drive to, and I don't have to drive, for! Not many jobs with that description, nevermind who would hire a schizophrenic with the history of a car accident where I injured somebody because I was trying to fix my car jack... Or who would never drive again... Nevermind all the chemical failures over the last six plus months' space... So I haven't had the energy to be on here often, nevermind make videos...
But I just want to say, Keep Living, And Don't give up❣️
And Thanks For Reading... Thank You Everyone, Who Over The Years, Has Shown Support For Not Only Me, But For Every Good Cause... On Here❣️ You've Changed Lives, For The Better ❣️
