06/03/2026
I am crying for cottage cheese. Believe me - the grief is real...
I paid my last respects to pies n' cakes last year and said sayonara to processed foods full of A's and P's, too. Thirsty Thursdays Wine Club is but a long distant memory…
Yet apparently those sacrifices were not enough for the food gods.
My endoscopy results showed gastritis and intestinal permeability (but thankfully not coeliac disease). However, blood and hair testing confirm what the doc suspected: Intolerance not just to gluten, but all wheat.
And not only wheat…
Dairy has to take a permanent dive as it's causing 'chronic' chaos.
Sugar is a serious no-no.
Citrus is out. Caffeine is canned.
All legumes have to leg it (for now).
Several other pantry staples have been shown the door - some, such as coconut, are very reluctant to leave, but onion and garlic were given the nod a while back.
And even chicken is off the menu as it’s wreaking havoc with my insides.
So naturally I decided the only reasonable response was to go completely overboard and clear out the 'naughties' this weekend…
By eating them all.
Tonight’s almost-final supper consisted of:
• Homemade gluten-free crumbed and seriously stuffed chicken thighs (farewell chicken, brie, and cream cheese - do cranberries count as sugar?)
• Rocket, beetroot, feta, and toasted walnut salad (goodbye my beloved feta)
• Roasted kūmara with creamy mushrooms (see ya forever milk and bye bye butter)
There may also be a few peanuts getting pilfered shortly… possibly chased by a stonking spoonful of peanut butter - simply because they are gut-forsaken legumes that I can’t eat anymore.
So I must consume every last peanut in the house, of course!
Tomorrow I will farewell whey protein coffees and consume my final cottage cheese-egg-zucchini-nut loaf for lunch… followed by the highly endangered Waldorf salad.
I will miss you so much Cottage Cheese - let me count the ways.
Celery… not so much.
But at least eggs and avocado are still in my life.
If you are reading my sob story I wish you all the best - may your own lives be filled with whole foods… so you don’t end up with a gut full of issues like mine.
