Bisma Asif

Bisma Asif Supporting every child's journey to grow, learn & thrive!

We offer complete child therapy:
Speech delay, Autism, ADHD, Behavior issues, Occupational therapy, Sensory issues, Learning difficulties, Physiotherapy & more.

Kabhi problem phone nahi hota — problem woh attention hoti hai jo phone relationship se le raha hota hai.Partner aapko a...
01/09/2026

Kabhi problem phone nahi hota — problem woh attention hoti hai jo phone relationship se le raha hota hai.

Partner aapko apna din bata raha hai aur aap reels scroll kar rahe hain.

Dinner saath ho raha hai, lekin dono screens dekh rahe hain.

Raat ko finally time milta hai, lekin conversation ke bajaye social media start ho jata hai.

Dheere dheere ek partner feel kar sakta hai:

“Main tumhare paas hoon, lekin tumhari attention mere paas nahi.”

Social media ek aur problem create kar sakta hai: comparison.

Aap doosre couples ki holidays, gifts, romantic posts aur perfect pictures dekhte hain aur sochte hain:

“Hamara relationship aisa kyun nahi?”

Lekin aap unki highlights ko apni complete reality se compare kar rahe hote hain.

Digital boundaries bhi conflict create karti hain.

Ex ko follow karna okay hai? Private messages ki boundary kya hai? Passwords share hone chahiye? Online flirting ko dono kaise define karte hain?

Assume karne ke bajaye rules discuss karein.

Is week ek simple Digital Relationship Reset try karein:

1. Three phone-free zones banayein: meals, important conversations, aur daily 20-minute couple time.

2. Ek doosre se poochhein:
“Meri konsi phone habit tumhein ignored feel karwati hai?”

Answer sunte waqt defend na karein.

3. Online boundaries clear karein:
“Konsa online behaviour hum dono ke liye disrespectful hoga?”

Rules dono ke liye equal hone chahiye.

4. Important conversation mein phone neeche rakhein.
Eye contact aur full attention ka simple message hota hai:
“Abhi tum important ho.”

Aaj apna screen time check karke ek question poochhein:

“Kya main apne relationship ko utni focused attention deta/deti hoon jitni apne phone ko?”

Technology relationship ko support kare — replace nahi.

Agar phone use, social media, jealousy ya digital boundaries repeated conflict create kar rahe hain, relationship counselling healthier agreements build karne mein help kar sakti hai.

Har healthy relationship mein mohabbat ke saath personal space bhi zaroori hoti hai.Aapka partner kabhi akelay waqt guza...
31/08/2026

Har healthy relationship mein mohabbat ke saath personal space bhi zaroori hoti hai.

Aapka partner kabhi akelay waqt guzarna chahe, apne thoughts process kare, friends se private conversation kare, ya har choti baat share na kare — yeh automatically suspicious nahi hota.

Privacy ka matlab hai:
“Meri personal space hai, lekin main relationship ke trust ko protect kar raha/rahi hoon.”

Secrecy different hai.

Secrecy tab concern banti hai jab koi aisi important information jaan boojh kar hide ki jaye jo relationship ko directly affect karti ho.

Misal ke taur par, hidden debt, secret financial commitments, agreed relationship boundaries ke khilaf kisi se contact, ya baar baar jhoot bol kar information chhupana.

To healthy boundary kahan hai?

Apne partner ke saath yeh 3 questions discuss karein:

1. Privacy hamare liye kya mean karti hai?
Kya phones private honge? Kya passwords share karna zaroori hai? Assumptions ke bajaye clear agreement banayein.

2. Kaun si information lazmi share honi chahiye?
Major financial decisions, serious personal issues, ya aisi cheezein jo dono ki zindagi affect karti hain, un par transparency zaroori ho sakti hai.

3. Hum secrecy kis behaviour ko kahein ge?
Jo cheez ek partner ke liye normal hai, doosre ke liye boundary violation ho sakti hai. Isay pehle discuss karein.

Aur yaad rakhein: trust ka solution surveillance nahi hai.

Partner ka phone secretly check karna, har password demand karna, location constantly track karna, ya har message ki explanation maangna healthy trust create nahi karta.

Agar koi behaviour aapko uncomfortable kar raha hai to accusation ke bajaye kahein:

“Kuch changes ki wajah se mujhe uneasy feel ho raha hai. Main accuse nahi karna chahta/chahti, lekin main chahta/chahti hoon ke hum transparency aur boundaries clear karein.”

Rules dono partners ke liye equal hone chahiye.

Privacy kehti hai: “Mujhe personal space chahiye.”
Secrecy kehti hai: “Mujhe ensure karna hai ke tumhein pata na chale.”

29/08/2026

Stop Wasting Years Trying To Fix a Relationship

Family support can strengthen a relationship. But when parents, siblings, or relatives become involved in every decision...
29/08/2026

Family support can strengthen a relationship. But when parents, siblings, or relatives become involved in every decision, disagreement, and private matter, the couple can slowly lose control of their own relationship.

Imagine having an argument with your partner and immediately telling your family everything.

You and your partner may resolve the issue tomorrow.

But your family may remember the hurtful details for months.

Over time, this can create resentment, judgement, and unnecessary tension between your partner and your family.

Another problem begins when family opinions become more important than the partner’s voice.

“میری family یہی چاہتی ہے۔”

“میرے parents نے فیصلہ کر دیا ہے۔”

If major decisions about money, children, living arrangements, or personal life are constantly influenced by others, one partner may start feeling unimportant or unsupported.

The solution is not cutting family out.

The solution is healthy boundaries.

Start with these three conversations:

1. What should remain private?
Agree that normal disagreements, intimate details, and personal weaknesses will not automatically be shared with relatives.

2. Which decisions belong to us?
Identify decisions that both partners should make together before involving anyone else.

3. How will we handle unwanted advice?
Create a respectful response such as:

“We appreciate your concern, but we would like to make this decision together.”

There is another important rule:

Handle your own family when possible.

If your parents or siblings repeatedly cross a boundary, do not leave your partner alone to fight that battle. Calmly communicate the boundary yourself.

Ask your partner tonight:

“Is there any family involvement that makes you feel uncomfortable or unheard?”

Then listen before defending anyone.

A strong couple does not need to reject family. But they do need enough independence to build their own decisions, privacy, and partnership.

If family interference repeatedly creates serious conflict, relationship counselling can help couples develop clearer boundaries.

28/08/2026

Love VS Attachment, Why You Settle For Bad Relationships

Kabhi argument Rs. 5,000 ke kharchay se start hota hai aur end hota hai:“Tum irresponsible ho!”“Tum har cheez control ka...
28/08/2026

Kabhi argument Rs. 5,000 ke kharchay se start hota hai aur end hota hai:

“Tum irresponsible ho!”
“Tum har cheez control karna chahte ho!”

Money fights aksar sirf paison ke bare mein nahi hoti. Unke peeche security, trust, control, priorities aur future ka fear bhi ho sakta hai.

Ek partner saving ko safety samajhta hai. Doosra maanta hai ke earning ka kuch hissa enjoy bhi karna chahiye.

Ek ke liye family ko financially support karna priority hai. Doosre ke liye emergency fund banana.

Problem different priorities nahi. Problem tab banti hai jab couples money rules discuss kiye baghair ek doosre se same thinking expect karte hain.

Same fight repeat ho rahi hai? Yeh practical system try karein:

1. Monthly money meeting rakhein.
Argument ke waqt finances discuss na karein. Har month 30 minutes income, expenses, savings, debt aur upcoming costs review karein.

2. Ek doosre ka money mindset samjhein.
Poochhein:

“Paison ke bare mein tumhari sab se bari worry kya hai?”

Answer spending se zyada important information de sakta hai.

3. Spending limit agree karein.
Decide karein ke kis amount tak personal purchase independently ho sakti hai aur kis amount ke baad discussion zaroori hai.

4. Three shared goals banayein.
For example: emergency fund, debt payment, house, travel, children's education, ya parents ki support.

Ab money sirf “mera vs tumhara” nahi, shared plan ban jata hai.

5. Financial secrecy avoid karein.
Hidden debt, loans, major purchases ya commitments trust ko amount se zyada damage kar sakte hain.

Aur character attack band karein.

“Tum paisa waste karte ho” ke bajaye:

“Is month hum budget se upar chale gaye. Agle month kya change kar sakte hain?”

Agar money conversations repeatedly anger, secrecy ya control mein badalti hain, relationship counselling communication side ko improve karne mein help kar sakti hai.

Money ko ek doosre ke against weapon nahi — mil kar solve karne wala problem banayein.

27/08/2026

Stop Rating Relationships On Promises, Look At Your Partners

Kabhi relationship mein masla mohabbat ki kami nahi hota. Masla yeh hota hai ke dono mohabbat ko mukhtalif tareeqon se e...
27/08/2026

Kabhi relationship mein masla mohabbat ki kami nahi hota. Masla yeh hota hai ke dono mohabbat ko mukhtalif tareeqon se express aur receive karte hain.

Misal ke taur par, ek partner mohabbat bhare words sunna chahta hai:

“Main tumhein appreciate karta/karti hoon.”

Doosra partner yeh words kam bolta hai, lekin practical help karta hai, ghar ke kaam sambhalta hai ya mushkil waqt mein saath deta hai.

Woh sochta hai:

“Main itna kuch karta hoon, phir bhi isay kyun lagta hai ke main care nahi karta?”

Dono mohabbat kar sakte hain, lekin dono ko mohabbat different actions mein mehsoos hoti hai.

Love languages ka popular idea paanch common ways batata hai: words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, physical touch aur gifts.

Lekin in labels ko strict rules na banayein. Asal maqsad apne partner ki emotional needs ko samajhna hai.

Ek simple exercise karein.

Apne partner se yeh 3 questions poochhein:

1-Main kya karta/karti hoon jis se tumhein sab se zyada loved feel hota hai?
2-Relationship mein aisi kaun si cheez hai jis ki tumhein kami mehsoos hoti hai?
3-Is haftay main kya choti si cheez kar sakta/sakti hoon jis se tum valued feel karo?

Answers assume na karein.

Agar partner kahe:

“Mujhe quality time chahiye.”

To poochhein:

“Quality time tumhare liye kaisa dikhta hai?”

Shayad expensive date ki zaroorat na ho. Sirf 20 minutes ki phone-free conversation hi kaafi ho.

Apni need bhi complaint ke bajaye clearly batayein.

“Tum romantic nahi ho” ke bajaye kahein:

“Jab tum mujhe hug karte ho ya verbally appreciate karte ho, mujhe tumhare zyada close feel hota hai.”

Yeh blame nahi. Yeh useful information hai.

Strong relationships mein dono partners apni natural style ke saath saath ek doosre ki needs samajhne aur reasonable effort karne ki koshish karte hain.

Aaj sirf ek sawal poochhein:

“Main kya karoon jis se tumhein mujh se zyada connected feel ho?”

Mohabbat sirf apne tareeqe se dena kaafi nahi. Yeh samajhna bhi zaroori hai ke aapka partner mohabbat ko kaise experience karta hai.

26/08/2026

Stop Blaming Your Partner For Someone Else's Mistakes

Kabhi partner poochta hai:“Kya hua?”Aur andar bohat kuch chal raha hota hai, lekin aap kehte hain:“I’m fine.”Aap fine na...
26/08/2026

Kabhi partner poochta hai:

“Kya hua?”

Aur andar bohat kuch chal raha hota hai, lekin aap kehte hain:

“I’m fine.”

Aap fine nahi hote. Aap hurt, disappointed, angry, ya ignored feel kar rahe hote hain. Lekin shayad argument avoid karna chahte hain, words nahi mil rahe, ya expect karte hain ke partner khud samajh jaye.

Problem yeh hai: “I’m fine” feeling ko solve nahi karta. Sirf usay hide karta hai.

Phir ek unhealthy cycle start ho sakti hai.

Aap silent ho jate hain. Partner samajhta hai sab theek hai aur normal behave karta hai. Aap aur hurt hote hain ke “Isay samajh kyun nahi aa raha?”

Dheere dheere emotional distance barhti hai.

Healthy communication ka matlab yeh nahi ke har feeling فوراً discuss karni hai. Agar aap ready nahi hain, honestly time maang sakte hain.

“I’m fine” ke bajaye try karein:

“Main upset hoon, lekin mujhe thora time chahiye. Kya hum dinner ke baad baat kar sakte hain?”

Is se partner ko pata chal jata hai ke problem hai, lekin aap conversation avoid nahi kar rahe.

Jab baat karein, accusation ke bajaye apni experience explain karein.

Instead of:

“Tumhein meri feelings ki kabhi parwah nahi.”

Say:

“Jab kal woh hua, mujhe ignored feel hua. Main chahta/chahti hoon ke tum pehle meri baat suno.”

Ek simple 3-question check use karein jab bhi “I’m fine” kehne ka dil kare:

Main actually kya feel kar raha/rahi hoon?
Kis situation ne mujhe upset kiya?
Mujhe abhi kya chahiye: listening, space, apology, reassurance, ya solution?

Jab need clear hoti hai, communication bhi clearer ho jati hai.

Partner ki responsibility bhi hai ke honesty ko punishment na banaye. Agar feelings share karne par har baar mocking, blame, ya anger mile, to silence naturally barh sakti hai.

Temporary silence aapko argument se bacha sakti hai, lekin repeated silence connection ko damage kar sakti hai.

Partner se mind-reading expect na karein. Apni feelings ko respectful words dein.

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