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Kaya Toast for the Soul, Singapore (2026)

24/06/2026

I caught myself recently again.

Being tired.

And knowing I’m tired.

But still somehow finding yet another thing to do.

This past weekend,I spent almost the entire weekend writing a book.

Not just a book in fact, but three books at the same time.

A book on Borderline Personality Disorder and Complex Trauma because it's something deeply important to me.

Another on AuDHD for my clients (and tbh myself too, can you guess?)

And a little short story fiction I’ve been working on for a while called "a map of vanishing places".

And to be fair, I enjoyed all of these.

But again, that’s the tricky part, right?

Sometimes the things that tire us are not even things we hate.

Sometimes they are meaningful.
Interesting.
Even exciting.

But still,
they take something from us.

Time. Energy. Space.

And I guess I’m asking myself this tonight:

Why is it so hard to slow the pace?

Why is rest so hard to simply embrace?

And not something we need to constantly negotiate?

--

Tbh, I don’t have a clean answer tonight.

Maybe I’m just realising now that rest is not something I need to collapse into.

But something I want to choose.

--

And don't get me wrong, this post is part of my rest too.

I'm writing to get my thoughts of my chest (this is my journal)

But after this I'm also going to go read my Manga (bet you didn't know this about me)

Eat my Japanese curry katsu don.

Stroke and smell both my dogs.

Then dim the lights and lay in bed.

Because rest is not the absence of life.

Rest is part of being fully alive too.

Take care,

Hernping

💙

18/06/2026

One of our interns asked me today to prepare a founder story for IASH.SG 🇸🇬 social media.

So, why did I start this?

And honestly, I sat with that question for quite a while.

Because I wish I could tell you I always knew what I wanted to do.

I didn't.

Not even close.

I changed uni courses three times. Failed repeatedly. Spent years feeling lost.

Before I was a psychologist, I was a mental health patient too.

Even after discovering psychology, I still didn't imagine this would become my path.

Like many people, I got pulled along by what I thought was expected of me.

Study. Work. Build a career.

From the outside, things looked sensible enough.

Inside, I felt increasingly disconnected from myself.

--

One thing I remember clearly was dreading Sundays.

Sunday evenings felt like another reminder that a week had gone by and I still wasn't becoming who I thought I was supposed to become.

There were periods where I struggled with depression.

And although I sought help, something still felt missing.

I saw therapists across the years.

Yet much of what I encountered felt clinical at a time when I was searching for connection.

That experience stayed with me.

Because I realised that expertise matters.

But so does human connection.

I think that's one of the reasons IASH.sg became what it is today.

If you visit our counsellor profiles, you'll notice many of us openly share parts of our own stories.

Because we believe people deserve to know there is a human being sitting across from them.

Someone who understands that life can be messy too..

--

As for meaning, this was something I thought about for a very long time too.

Because when you've spent years feeling lost, it's hard not to ask:

"What's the point of all this?"

What I've learnt is that meaning is not always something we discover first.

Sometimes it only makes sense looking backwards.

Sometimes it emerges from the things we've lived through.

The struggles. The loneliness. The questions we carried for years.

Turning pain into purpose.

Turning loneliness into connection.

So to you out there trying to find meaning?

Look inward, I believe in you.

Take care,
Hernping

14/06/2026

Today I watched a movie called "Disclosure Day"

And even though the reviews going into it were mixed.

I honestly thought the movie was GREAT (My wife disagrees😅)

But I’ve always loved science fiction stuff since I was kid.

Aliens. UFOs.
Secrets of the universe.
Anything hidden and unknown.

But other than all of that, there was one theme underlying this movie.

Empathy.

And although I won’t spoil the movie too much,
I think that was the part that stayed with me too

Though as Ironic as it sounds, there was a challenging bit throughout the movie that challenged my "empathy".

A certain loud somebody seated right behind us talking loudly throughout the movie.

And to be honest, it was a little annoying at the start.

And a younger version of me would’ve turned around angrily.
Would’ve been irritated.
Would’ve really wanted to react.

But this time, strangely, I just didn’t feel the need to do that anymore.

Instead I found myself thinking:

That maybe not every moment needs more harshness added into it.

Because the truth is, there are already so many people in this world carrying invisible battles.

People having bad days.
People struggling silently.
People carrying exhaustion, pain, loneliness, grief, conditions we cannot see.

And I guess somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting to contribute more anger into a world that already feels heavy enough sometimes.

Not because kindness is always easy.
Not because people are never inconsiderate.

But because behind so much of the harshness we encounter, there is often just another human being trying to get through life too.

BTW to be real with you, from the content of what this person was saying.

A part of me suspects this person was highly neurodivergent too.

It made me think this though, and don't mind me share this gentle reflection with you.

That maybe if we truly want the world to feel gentler.

It has to begin in these small moments between each other.

Just a little more kindness.

It starts from me and you :)

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. Person was already hushed a few times. This is different from bystander effect okay! I think other people got it too

12/06/2026

I think sometimes, outside of our awareness, we carry a quiet heaviness into the weekend.

Sometimes it comes from doing too much for too long.

Sometimes it comes from feeling like you did not do enough.

Sometimes it is the exhaustion of it all.

And then the weekend arrives, and somehow things just feel a little heavier.

A little emptier. A little duller. A little harder to fully arrive into the weekend feeling okay.

But maybe not every heavy feeling needs to become something we urgently solve.

Maybe some weeks simply turn out this way.

And maybe the kindest thing we can do is to stop fighting ourselves so hard for feeling this heaviness too.

That even it feels like we are bringing heaviness into the weekend like a overpacked luggage.

We can leave it there at the door.

And let it sit.

Until we feel better, or at least better enough to unpack it.

To you out there...

I hope this week becomes a place for you to rest, instead of another place where we pressure ourselves to immediately feel better again.

Sometimes rest is not about fixing the feeling.

Sometimes it is simply about letting ourselves breathe while carrying it.

💙

P. S. Had a heavy week too.

But laying it all down here.

And then I'm going to embrace the weekend ahead, just like all of you :)

09/06/2026

I did this drawing a little differently today.

Because today felt a little different as well.

The lines are thinner.

The boy is smaller, weaker.

Kaya a little more squashed.

The colours duller, quieter.

Less vibrant scenes than usual.

And honestly, that’s probably how I feel today as well.

--

Don't worry, I'm not feeling terrible.

At least not catastrophically so.

Just… a little heavier.

A little more of a low feeling of existence for some reason I don't know yet.

And I think in the past, I would’ve tried very hard to figure out why.

To solve it quickly. To pull myself out of it. To treat every this feeling like some kind of emergency or problem.

But not every emotion needs fixing.

Maybe some days are simply quieter than others.

--

And if that's how you're feeling as well.

Maybe your heart is just tired like mine is today too.

And that’s okay.

Some days just feel a little more heavy than others.

It's okay to have such days.

So if today feels a little muted for you as well, I hope you let yourself be here without rushing to become okay again.

And if tomorrow still feels heavy—

maybe we can meet tomorrow gently too.

💙

P. S. I've been quite busy lately working on too many multiple projects at once. I suspect this is a bit of the burnout talking.

So I'm going to listen to it and slow down abit.

I'm very happy with the progress on the books I'm writing though - one on complex trauma and bpd, the other on AuDHD.

Can't wait to share this with y'all.

But yes, for tonight I'm going to take it easy.

Rest well folks :)

Hernping

07/06/2026

I can’t tell you how often this comes up in therapy.

Not just in romantic relationships, but in friendships too.

This quiet terror of feeling replaceable.

Especially for those carrying complex trauma or anxious attachment.

Thus fear can cut incredibly deep.

Because maybe you already know what it feels like to lose connection suddenly.

To feel emotionally left behind.

Outgrown.

Forgotten.

So now your heart becomes hyperaware.

---

A slower reply feels loud.

A shift in tone feels loud.

And the distance feels loud.

And suddenly your mind starts racing ahead,
trying to protect you before the abandonment fully arrives.

Not because you are irrational.

But because some part of you remembers how painful it once felt to not be chosen.

And honestly?

I think there’s something profoundly exhausting
about living like your place in people’s lives is always temporary.

Like love could quietly expire at any moment.

Like warmth has an expiry date.

Like one mistake could make someone stop choosing you altogether.

That kind of fear changes people.

----

But this is what I hope healing slowly becomes for you:

Not becoming someone who never fears abandonment again.

But becoming someone who no longer abandons themselves every time that fear appears.

Someone who can hold their own heart gently
instead of immediately panicking, chasing, shrinking, or apologising for existing.

Someone who slowly learns:

“If somebody leaves, it does not erase my worth.”

And maybe one day, love will stop feeling like something you must constantly monitor to keep alive.

Maybe one day,

You will experience connection that feels steady enough, so much so your whole nervous system can for finally rest.

Where you are not constantly wondering:

“Do they still want me here?”

But instead:

“I know I matter here.”

And honestly,

You do.

I really hope you find that kind of love.

The kind that feels less like survival, and more like coming home too.

Take care,
Hernping

💙

P. S. Thought of this post as I'm writing my book on my experience with BPD and Complex Trauma. See my stories for more info okay?

04/06/2026

For those of you struggling with a harsh inner critic, maybe you know this feeling too.

That voice inside your head that always seems to find another flaw.

Another mistake.

Another reason to feel ashamed.

The voice that says:

“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“You should’ve done better.”
“Don’t be too much.”

And after a while, it can really start to feel like your own mind has turned against you.

---

But I hope this post is making you wonder…

Why does this part even exist in the first place?

Because if our minds are meant to help us survive, what purpose would self-hatred even serve?

Why would a part of us spend so much time criticising us, pressuring us, pushing us, making us feel small?

---

I don’t think most inner critics begin from cruelty.

Maybe somewhere along the way, this part of us simply learned that mistakes were dangerous.

That rejection hurt. That criticism hurt. That being “not good enough” came with consequences.

So maybe it started watching us carefully.

Trying to correct us before someone else could.

Trying to push us harder so we would not fail, be rejected, or be abandoned.

Not because it actually hated us.

But because somewhere deep down, it became afraid for us.

--

I don’t know if that changes things completely.

But maybe it changes something small.

Maybe instead of only seeing this part as an enemy, we begin noticing that it might also be tired.

Tired from carrying fear for such a long time.

And maybe healing is not learning how to hate this part less violently.

Maybe it’s slowly helping it realise that we no longer need fear and shame just to deserve love or belonging.

And maybe it’s a wonderful start to pause for a moment and gently notice:

“Something inside me is hurting again.”

And maybe that moment of noticing— without shame, without punishment— is already the beginning of something different.

You got this,
Hernping

💙

For Mr Elmo.

Thank you for trying so hard to protect mama.

I hope you like your new job now.

Care.

And love.

03/06/2026

Over the past few weeks, I’ve sat with many people who quietly shared these thoughts with me.

People who looked “fine.” People who were still functioning. Still smiling. Still showing up for others.

And underneath all of that was an exhausted part quietly whispering:

“I don’t know how much longer I can carry this.”

--

Tbh I actually think we should talk about this more openly.

Not because we want to glorify this.

Not because we want to romanticise suffering.

But because silence is dangerous.

Because people should not have to disappear quietly while feeling ashamed of what they are carrying inside.

--

This post especially comes from a client who shared with me a part of her that always wanted to die.

She called this part of her “Bubbles.”

Named after the Powerpuff Girl.

Strong on the outside. Soft and fragile underneath.

And for the longest time, this part terrified her.

She fought it. Feared it. Wanted it gone.

But this week, something changed.

Instead of running from Bubbles, she finally turned toward her.

And beneath all the darkness, she discovered something unexpected:

Exhaustion.

--

A part that had been carrying unbearable pain for a very long time. A part that no longer knew how to rest. A part that did not truly want death— but desperately wanted relief.

I can't tell you how much I'm so proud of her.

Because healing sometimes begins the moment we stop treating these parts of ourselves like monsters, and start asking:

“What happened to you?”

“What burden have you been carrying alone all this time?”

Sometimes the parts of us that scare us the most are actually the ones hurting the deepest.

--

So if you carry a part like this too, please don’t carry it alone.

Talk to someone. Reach out. Let another human sit beside you in it.

Because you deserve support long before things become unbearable.

And maybe healing is not about destroying these parts of ourselves.

I'm here,
Hernping

💙

Dedicated to "bubbles"

Kaya Toast for the Soul

24/06/2026

18/06/2026

14/06/2026

12/06/2026

09/06/2026

07/06/2026

04/06/2026

03/06/2026

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